nowhere to 'hide' at work

[strawberrie]

hi all, i was hoping for a bit of support and advice.

i am starting a new job next week and am feeling very nervous about it. I haven't worked for 5 years as i've been at home with the kids. My anxiety got much worse after i gave up work and i am hoping that getting back to work will keep my mind busy and help my anxiety in the long run.

however, my main worry is that the office i will be working at is very small, only about 10 other people there. I have usually worked at large companies before and i am worried that i will feel really 'exposed' at my new job. We are all in one room and there are no partitions between the desks so i feel like there is nowhere to 'hide'. I won't be able to disappear off and 'do some photocopying' if i am feeling anxious, and people will notice if i keep popping off to the loo.

just to top it all off, i am also worrying about my health (as usual) as i have found a new symptom as i always do when i am anxious (i wont bother going into that here, i have one symptom after another). i am feeling very vulnerable and tearful at the moment and to be honest i am worrying about even getting through my first day without bursting into tears - can anyone relate to this, or has anyone worked in a small office before who can give me any advice?

thanks,
mag

[hayles]

I work in a small office. (5 in my office and 18 in total in the company)
And only 1 person knows about my anxiety.
I go to the loo all the time when i am anxious.
I think people have just begun to accept that Hayley Goes to the loo a lot and it is now considered the norm!!!!

Your first day will be jam packed so you will have no time to worry!!! enjoy yourself it will be fine xx

Hay x

[kate H]

Our office is very open plan and there are about 14 of us upstairs so i am "on show" all the time. Same as Hayles only one person knows about my anxiety and i just go to the loo when i need to take 5 or pop out side for a bit of fresh air.

You will probably find the first few days a bit tough but once you have got into a routine you may even find it eases your anxiety as you will be doing something to occupy your mind.

x

****You can never get rid of the butterflies, but you can teach them to fly in formation ****

[strawberrie]

hayles and kate, thanks for the replies. I think i'm just going to have to establish myself as 'someone who goes to the loo a lot and takes her bag with her' so i can have access to my security blankets when i need them! That way they will just think i have a weak bladder and no-one will suspect that really i'm a looney! ;)

i am feeling a bit more positive today, but we'll see how i feel on monday morning!

mag xx

[hayles]

Goodluck Mags, let us know how you go x

Hay x

[manmoor]

Hi Mags,

Hope new job goes well. Thinking of you. Keep us posted hun.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[alicia123]

Oh Mag, this was so me, and another person in the office I used to work in. We only discovered we both had anxiety and PAs because we were always in the loo at the same time! So, even though I did not know her, every time I saw her go to the loo, I would go too, and she would do the same for me. It was a big office, so nobody noticed, but just the knowledge that somebody else was going through it helped to make it less of a trial.

It's better to have a reputation for a weak bladder than one for having PAs, because very few people understand what it is like.

alicia

This helped me (so I don't go on about it!):
www.alphadynamics.com

[Nel]

Hi Strawberrie,

Congratulations on your new job! Working is a brilliant way of having structure in your day and IMO definately helps with anxiety (long term). My mate and my cousin both suffered anxiety, neither got as bad as me and I honestly think it was because they had to go to work everyday, they weren’t able to get into the habit of hiding at home like I have been able to do.
What you’re feeling is anticipatory anxiety, once you have your first day or 2 out of the way you will not be anywhere near as anxious about it.

Nel xxx

[strawberrie]

thanks a lot guys for the replies. i was in a very low mood when i first posted and i am feeling much better about the whole work thing now. i know it will be good for me, its just taking the first step thats the difficult bit. i'll let you know how i get on.

mag xx

[Piglet]

Mag,

I think you are doing totally the right thing by giving it a go!!:D:D

Anticipation is always a problem with us lot and you will be well annoyed with yourself afterwards when you realise it's going to be fine!!

Meg once said something about work being great cos it's like paid distraction. That is so true isnt it, we need distraction and how fab to paid for it too!!!

Good luck hun and tell us all about it!! :D

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[strawberrie]

hi, i'm on my lunch break so i thought i'd let you know its going ok. Just had one wobbly moment so far when i got told off for parking in the wrong place (not by someone i am working with), but apart from that everything's been fine.

All the things i've been worrying about have been ok, i've even answered a few phone calls which i was dreading which i know sounds stupid but i was getting worked up about actually having to speak to people [^]

the toilets are nice and tucked away so i can disappear off there if i need to get away (yes i do have a bit of a toilet obsession lol), also i can get home at lunchtime (as you can tell) and biggest bonus of all they've got really nice biscuits :D what more could i want? so, so far so good, goes to show that the things you worry about usually don't turn out too bad.

thanks for your messages of support,
mag xxx

[Meg]

Mag,

Good for you !!! Well done on getting there and admitting that it is really ok. You will go from strength to strength.

Make sure you're kept entertained and have somthing to focus on..

THis needs to be moved into the success catagory please

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress