New here....not in a good way either

[undertheblackclouds]

I have been lurking and gone on the chat room a few times.... thought I would introduce myself. I am Charlottte. I am 28 and have suffered from anxiety and depression for 20 yrs however diagnosis was only made when I was 20. It was the first time I took myself to the dotor about it and before that my parents did not want me to go as they thought that I would end up in a loony bin?

I suffer constantly, but it is the level of suffering that alternates. I am currently off work with depression, for which i feel very guilty. I have had a succession of disasterous relationships and am now in a new one which I feel will fail because of the pressures placed on it by my condition.

At the moment I cannot see any point to life. I really just want to not exist most of the time. I spend alot of time in bed and also on this PC trying to find a magical cure.

It seems to me that if it is bad, it will happen to me. My life reads like several Trisha shows. I also feel like a sad idiot for sitting here typing woe is me and making myself sound like a victim, which is what alot of people say.

I am hoping to find some relief here. I am currently on an anxiety management course which is a meeting that meets once a week for 6 weeks. I am also awaiting CBT however this seems a long time coming. I am also on 40mg Citalopram, a Beta Blocker and 2 Valium every 6 hours..... yet still life sucks. I have also totally run out of cash so cannot afford my prescription at the moment and am worried about what will happen.

[belle]

Hi..
I'm pretty new here myself, but in the short time i've been reading i have found some really interesting things to work on - i hope you do too.

Sarah.

[undertheblackclouds]

Thanks Sarah x

[Granny Primark]

Hi charlotte,

Welcome to this site.

Im really glad youve found this site.Im sure it will be a great help to you.
Im really sorry you cant afford your prescription.
It makes me so angry the prescription charges are so high.
Hopefully the help and support you will get from the members here will help you on your way to recovery.
I think ive seen you in chat, its a great place to get advice make friends and have a laugh.

Take care
LYNN

[trac67]

hiya,

welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[manmoor]

Hi Charlotte,

A big warm welcome to you. Everyone here is so helpful and kind.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[yorkylover]

Hi Charlotte I am glad also that you have come to this forum.You will get helpfull advice here.
I suffer from depression,Im 38 and had about 15 years,or more.Had anxiety and Panic attacks for over 10 years.You are not alone,everyones here for the same things.
Dont feel guilty about being of sick,you have an illness.Things will get better, I have been low like you to.Your not sad either,using th pc you have found this forum and you will get support here.[^]
Im on citalopram and beta blockers.I was on valium a month ago,but take them now when needed.
You will make friends here as well.
Those black clouds will lift.
Take care;)


Ellen XX

[undertheblackclouds]

Thankyou everyone you are so kind....

[mad_shell66]

hi charlotte, im sorry to hear about your problems
welcome to no more panic and i look forwrd to speaking to you soon
shellxx:D

[Lindalou64]

HI CHARLETTE LOTS OF GOOD INFO HERE AND PEOPLE AND IS THERE ANYWAY SOMEONE CAN HELP U WITH YA MEDS I DUNNO I LIVE IN AMERICA AND WE HAVE ALL KINDS OF PROGRAMS THAT WILL HELP ....KNOWING THAT THIS IS CALLED A DISABILITY....BEST TO YA...........LINDA XX [8D]

[undertheblackclouds]

I wish I could get it registered as a disability....

[Piglet]

A big welcome to you Charlotte.

Good on ya for doing your anxiety course - another good telephone recovery course is run by the charity Nopanic (not to be confused with us) many of us are members of there also!

I hope you find lots to help you here and start to feel alot better very soon.

Love Piglet x

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[ceecee]

hi charlotte welcome to the forum!!!hope all goes well in the anxiety managment course!!!let us know how you are getting on with it
take care rachel x

[nomorepanic]

Hi and welcome aboard.

Lovely to see you here.

You will get loads of support on here and make some great friends

Nicola

[Eclipse]

Hi Charlotte,

:DWelcome to the Forum:D

Maybe your parents might understand a bit more about your anxieties if they saw the forum for themselves.
It had the desired effect on my other half & he'd spent about 6/7 years thinking I was just 'awkward'!

Best Wishes

Magz
XX

[polly daydream]

Hi Charlotte and welcome to the forum. Sorry you are having such a bad time, you will make some great friends on the site and will I'm sure find some relief.

Take care,

Polly

[undertheblackclouds]

I just feel like no one understands me. I have had 2 brilliant days where I have almost been euphoric and today I have woken up feeling like crap. I am definately under the black clouds today and my other half has his only day off today and I am miserable. I am in a new relationship and now worry that this won't last as he won't be able to cope. Oh whats the point. Today really is a bad day.

[maxmagnum]

you could look at a site named ,, type in
healing-anxiety

maxmagnum

[fizzbomb]

hi charlotte
hope your depression lifts soon,so sorry you cant afford your prescription,could you not ask your parents for the money,if you dont like asking just make it a loan,dont feel guilty about missing work i used to but work will still be there long after we ware gone

take care
fizz

[undertheblackclouds]

I went back to my doctors yesterday and they have diagnosed me as Bi Polar. I am waiting for my CBT too but have also been referred to a psychiatrist as I need meds a doctor cannot prescribe. Feeling a bit better today. But off work for another 2 weeks. I hope they are gonna be ok about it.