Depersonalisation??

[zippy]

Does anyone feel like they are going to lose their mind or forget who they are etc? Also do any of you feel that your never going to feel right again and feel like your losing yourself? I just feel different but I say this Everytime I have anxiety and depression, is this depersonalisation?

[steveo]

Oh god don't even remind me.

This is my main and most frightening symptom. Any psychical symptoms of anxiety I can normally deal with but it's my head that is the problem. The depersonalisation/Derealisation is a nightmare that I still can't come to terms with. I can deal with very small amounts of it but I find it to be persistant throughout my day. I feel like I'm not really here. I feel like what's going on around me isn't real. I can't seem to shake it off ever.

I know that it's a very very very common symptom of anxiety and depression. It's where we are so focused on ourselves or in such a high state of anxiety or depression, our minds try and take us away from the situation and make the situation around us seem not so real to try and give us a break. Unfortunately it's this that I want a break from. The trick is (and I've never been able to find it), the more we worry about depersonalisation/derealisation, the more we produce adrenaline and stress hormones, so the further and deeper and more extreme the feelings of DR/DP become. This is a cycle until it either blows into a full panic attack or we just need to curl up into a ball in quiet room, shaking and crying (which is what I've been doing for almost 2 months).

I don't feel like I'm going to lose my mind or forget who I am though. I understand this isn't anything seriously wrong with me. I do know that it's just anxiety but that doesn't help me. It's like someone spiking me with LSD or something and when I'm seeing gremlins crawling across the wall, it won't help if someone keeps saying 'don't worry mate, it's just LSD'. (I've never taken any drugs just to clear that up!)

Just because I know WHAT it is, it somehow doesn't help me.

The only thing that helps me is constant reasurrence either in the form of the internet or a book that tells me over and over again in many different ways that depersonalisation and derealisation are VERY common!! I've heard and read it a zillion times in my life but still find it helpful to read it from reputable sources and books.

It's bloody frightening all the same.

Steven x

[meche]

Sounds like it to me... or what I believe depersonalisation to feel like. I used to feel like I was in a bubble and everything was carrying on around me. No matter what I did I couldn't get past it and I felt like I was losing the plot. Nothing felt real and my mind was like mush. It did go eventually but it was a horrible experience. xx

[zippy]

Yes meche that's what it's like that your going to lose the plot. It's not a nice feeling at all thinking you will never be yourself again.

[meche]

But you will be :). It frightened me for a long time because I didn't feel like me anymore but eventually I learned to accept it for what it was and let the symptoms take their course. The more you worry or panic about it, the worse it will seem. I understand it's not easy but you will get there believe me. xx