i need to tell someone!

[annadavid]

im 17 nearly 18 i have always had trouble with guys as i have depression an i look vonrible so i get taken advantage of,, i meet a really nice guy and we really loved each other all though he was mid 20's so broke it off cause he just didn't want people thinking wrong of him! i was on my road to recovery although now on my way back to wanting to die! i sstarted self harming again, quit quiting smoking! drink to excess regularly and feel i have no one to talk to i needed to right this out so i can see my self how it actually is,,,although is there any young people going through something similar and wants to just chat in general.....???

[steveo]

We are all here for you. I'm 11 years older than you, male, but I was going through some very very tough times at your age. Being 17/18 is meant to be fun but it's still a very scary time. Feel free to message me if you feel you would like to chat to me about anything.
Steve x

[annadavid]

thankyouu! its not nice i know i have family and friends who care but i cant even begin to explain to them how i feel! its like im lonely but i shudn't bei try keep my self busy doing lots every day without taking a break so i dont have a chance to think things through but just hits me when i get into bed ! an i believe when ur born through out ur life u get what u deserve and i dont see why i deserve the horrid things people have done to me :L x

[jayjoe18]

Hi Anna, I'm female, 19 soon to be 20 and though I don't have depression I do have severe anxiety which has had a massive effect to my life (I don't even have a life right now!) so I can kind of understand where your coming from. Have you ever spoke about your problems to your parents/family/doctor? Maybe it would be good to seek some therapy? Also, if your nearly 18 I don't see why there should be such a problem with an age gap, is there no way you and the guy could work it out?

[annadavid]

i have anxiety too! my family know about all my depression and stuff and my doctor cause i take medication i just dont feel comfortable chatting to them about personal stuff really i bottle a lot up i dont like looking week!! i had a conusillor an i hated it so i stopped! we still chat exactly the same which confuses me he says he wants wait till im bit older so people dont judge him all though we get on perfectly we never fight and it was perfect he just one day decided people might judge him for it, although i dont look young so its not like hes with me because of that when he meet me he thought i was 20 and we never asked each others agers untill we started dating then when it came out he said it was okay but we should be secret he says he doesn;t care what society things but if he thought that i dont understand why he wants me to wait! its hard to know what to say cause we still chat all same i dont wana mess it up an him never chat to me again!xx

[shotokansho]

Hi there.

I'm really sorry you are feeling this way at the moment. I am a lot older than you and have been suffering with mental health problems since I was in my late teens. I have been single for 15 years, apart from the occasional fling and I have not had a full filling relationship, in fact I don't think I have ever been in love. See I think being in love and having a relationship is just a bonus, something that would be nice but can wait. I think you have to love yourself and be comfortable with yourself before venturing into a relationship. I live alone and the only people I deeply love are my two sons and my family.
I'm not saying it won't come to you but be kind to yourself first and trust me love will follow, I firmly believe that there is someone out there for everyone and one day you will find your soul mate, as will I.

[annadavid]

hey its nice to know others have the same feelings as me ! i always been told that i have to love me self first, but apparently when i was much younger i dont remember but when i was about 4 i cried to my mum an said i hurt inside i cant explain why but i dont want to be who i am! and apparently i have always been like this wanting to be different ! and the only times i have actually felt good about my self is when i begin to trust a partner but its only been my most recent partner who hasn't cheated on me (that i know of) an i feel like people are doing it on purpose there trying to knock me down like im worthless already, i think my main problem now is finding a way to be comfortable and happy with my self rather than being with someone i have a life ahead to find a soul mate i just want to make sure im happy enough to not be so depressed till then....xx

[kutuup]

Hi Anna (I'm guessing that's your name? :P),

I went through very much the same thing at your age (and I'm a guy). I'm 24 now and experience has taught me a lot. I still feel very insecure in relationships but (and I know this is corny) I once read a speech that was probably the most reassuring thing I have ever read and I tell people to read all the time because it helped me so much. Google "Wear Suncreen Speech" and you'll find it (my post count wont let me post links yet)

[Lilharry]

Hey hun. I know how you feel. I was like this when I was younger too. It gets better the older you get, but you're right, you need to learn to love yourself. You are actually an awesome person and you deserve to be loved and treated well by others. People take advantage of you because you let them and that is wrong. Alcohol, drugs, self harm etc may take the pain away temporarily, but in the end they will make it worse. The sooner you address these issues with some professional help the easier it will be for you. Do you have a counsellor you can talk to? I wish I'd had counselling when I was your age - it's a really great thing and I believe it can help you immensly.

---------- Post added at 16:06 ---------- Previous post was at 15:59 ----------

PS - you don't deserve to be messed around by this guy and it sounds to me like he is messing with you. You deserve to be with someone who is proud to be seen with you and you have so much time in the future for that to happen. Let this guy go, he's not worth it, or if he is, then he obviously needs some time to get his head together. Concentrate on yourself for a while and try to focus on the things in life that you love to do.

[annadavid]

hey Lilharry thankyou :) i had counsilling and didn't liek it i see a doctor or regular bases bout it and he ehlps me ! i seem to only be happy when people are happy with me that why i think people seem to take advatnage of me and me anot notice! i dont know i want to just cut him out my life say hes messing me about but then at same time i hope hes actually just sorting his head out and is just gunna grow up then take me back but i have no idea what to think if im honest! but yeah at the moment im concentraiting on my self get my collage work done and trying to get all things i wanted to do done !

---------- Post added at 17:11 ---------- Previous post was at 17:06 ----------

hey kutuup,,on here i get called anna cause i dont want people to know who i am!! i looked it up its sweet i like it, its interesting thinking through that way cause atm i kinda feel empty it might be instinctive but only feel happy when with a partner but i want be able feel happy being alone! but its reasuring knowing peopel feel the same and simple things liek that make them happy :)