Can anyone offer any advice on what's wrong with me?

[kutuup]

Hi all,

Last September I had a sudden and pretty nasty spate of bizarre symptoms. I felt a sense of unreality, had heart palpitations, sweating, constant nausea, no appetite, shaking and trembling, vertigo and intense anxiety. I was like this for about a month, and then developed the worst depression I've ever experienced in my life. That lasted until about January this year when I was put on Citalopram, I initially didn't get on with the Citalopram as I became suicidal one day, but I stuck with it and the depression has largely gone away now, it comes back every so often but it's hugely improved. However, the anxiety symptoms have improved but not enough for me to function properly.

My doctor switched me to Fluoxetine and I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder as well as Clinical Depression. I was on Fluoxetine for a while but the anxiety didn't relent, the depression got better. I talked to my doctor about this and he has now switched me to Venlafaxine. This seems to have made the anxiety even worse though and the last couple of days I've felt very weird, been trembling constantly and stammering, feeling sick and weak. I'm hoping these are just side effects that will wear off.

So what I wanted to ask is does anyone else get the symptoms I have from anxiety, I've been told it's common to have a sensation like nobody else feels how you do so I thought the best thing was to just ask. I would describe my symptoms as follows:

A feeling of unreality, almost like you are dreaming or watching your life as a movie. Heavy sweating, especially on palms and underarms. Nausea although I haven't ever vomited because of anxiety. Little to no appetite. Feeling like I'm about to pass out. Constant fatigue and yawning. Difficulty concentrating. Trembling and shaking, especially hands and legs. Squinting (this one is hard to describe, it's like my eyelids are trembling, forcing them into a squint). Sensitivity to bright light. Almost complete social withdrawal and little to no desire to socialise (for some reason only with other men, I still enjoy socialising with women but I still get very anxious about it nonetheless). Shortness of breath. Heart palpitations and elevated heart rate. Sensation of being very "heavy" and feeling like the ground is moving up and down. Disorientation and vertigo. Panic attacks.

Those are the most prominent symptoms, does anyone else get those symptoms from anxiety? I have this constant fear that there's something terribly wrong with me and I'm gonna die or something. It's completely crippling. I'm a 24 year old guy, I should be out socialising and having a career and enjoying life and being young, but these symptoms have pretty much disabled me. I'm still in the process of finding a solution, but I wish they would just go away and stop ruining my life :(

[Lilharry]

Yep, I've had a lot of those symptoms. Do they come and go or are they there most of the time? Either way it sounds very much like anxiety to me. And the drugs can sometimes make those feelings worse. I'm too afraid to try drugs because the only time I tried them I totally freaked out and was hallucinating and never wanted to touch them again.

Do you drink? I find alcohol makes me feel worse, especially the day after.

Have you tried counselling? I have found CBT to extremely helpful with a lot of these feelings. I think sometimes it is impossible to tell whether or not the feelings are actualy caused by anxiety or not and that's when CBT is really useful because it can help sort out the irrational feelings from the rational ones. Remember all anxiety related feelings are in fact irrational and it's quite good to remind yourself that when you start feeling fearful, or even if you're feeling fearful all the time. I've been posting a link to this great online course you can do to help you work through your feelings - you should give it a go. If you scroll down, you can pick which ones you want to do. I'd definitely recommend the "health anxiety" one to start with. http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

[kutuup]

Thanks for replying, I'm glad to know someone else gets the same symptoms. It's nice to hear from an Australian too, I've visited a bunch of times and I loved it :) I travelled around with a group of Australian nationals (this was before I got ill) and we had some awesome adventures :P.

I do drink actually, probably too much :S I'm sure it doesn't help. I started drinking since it gave me some relief from the symptoms and it kind of became a habit. I wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic, but I drink more than I should and it's most likely making things worse. I feel great when I drink, but the next day is definitely more difficult because of it. I sometimes use Diazepam when I get a particularly bad episode but I'm cautious of it since I already drink too much and I know Diazepam is quite addictive, I don't want to deal with 2 drug habits at once lol I'd happily quit the booze if it would help with my recovery from anxiety though. I get really scared that I'll get withdrawal symptoms though, which puts me off quitting. Maybe I should try a few dry days and see how I go.

I've been in CBT for a couple of months but it hasn't really helped, I always feel like the therapist is telling me things I already know. I don't know if it's just a bad therapist or what but it hasn't really improved much. He's a nice guy and all but it hasn't really helped much. Do you think I should try a different therapist and see how it goes?

[Lilharry]

I'm a Kiwi, but I'll forgive ya, hehe :)

You sound a lot like how I used to be when it comes to the drinking. I used to drink most nights to relieve the anxiety symptoms and then it became a habit. It took me a long time to finally face the fact that although I wasn't drinking that much, I was drinking for all the wrong reasons and I too was scared to stop. If you can have a go at giving up I think it will help you. Maybe just try to cut back little by little, because going cold turkey can be pretty unpleasant. Either way, it's totally doable and I think you will feel better.

Interesting about the CBT. DEfinitely consider trying a different therapist. Or it may be that CBT isn't right for you. I love it because it's taught me how to change my thought patterns from negative to positive ones. You have to work at it and actually start putting it into action for it to have an effect and at first it feels like you're just faking, but after a while you will see benefits. Don't give up on it just yet.

Do you do any relaxation techniques or anythign like that? I've started getting a monthly massage and have been doing breathing exercises. I also want to start yoga. ANything you can do that is positive and healthy will make you start to feel better. I'm going to set up a little meditation area in my house and make an effort to just sit and breathe with some incense burning and feel calm. Gives your body a chance to just chill out, which it really needs when it's been on edge all day.

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And also, what is your diet like? It can have such a big effect on how you feel. Make sure you drink lots of water and eat lots of things that give you sustained energy. The sugar in the alcohol will be giving you sugar withdrawals the day after, as well as leaching out a lot of other nutrients that you need to function properly. Eat lots of whole grains, protein, good fats etc and stay away from sugar and caffeine. Sugar and caffeine give you a temporary high, but the come down isn't worth it.