Afraid of dying.

[atalia831]

I have this intense fear of dying or loved ones dying. Not specifically dying soon. But, the fact that one day I have to. That it's part of life. It makes me physically sick and makes it hard for me to be alone. Which is hard to do, since I've been pretty isolated. I don't know what to do, I feel stuck.

[MelinaJane]

I can really sympathize with you on this one - in fact i woke up at 4am this morning and couldn't stop thinking about death and ended up having a panic attack! I think for me it's the idea that there is (or could be) nothing after death - how can i not exist anymore?

From speaking to other people this is, to some degree, completely normal. A lot of people who do not suffer from anxiety in general have a huge fear of death. I know my husband sometimes gets upset just thinking about one of us dying when we are old. I think it's a completely normal human experience to feel this way even though it is so utterly terrifying to contemplate it.

I know reading philosophy on the subject sometimes helps me think it through and feel calmer :hugs:

[ruthless]

I emphasise with you on this one too. I think maybe my horrible thoughts have stemmed from my original fear of death

I think it is a fear that many people do have, but when it becomes so bad that it makes you ill then you need to go and see your GP and explain how you are feeling.

When you say you feel 'stuck' I know exactly what you mean, and have been there many times. These feelings will pass, maybe not overnight, but in the mean time discuss with your gp your options for now

[quinnell]

i know wot you all mean i think about death all the time 24/7 it drives me mad it scares me and also makes me feel sick i cried in front of my partner the other night and told her that i was scared of dying she was so kind and held me untill i dropped of to sleep thats when i have a little peace then i wake up and the thinking starts again i dont understand why i costantly keep thinking of death any ideas?

[ElizabethJane]

I have a fear of the actual process of dying how and where it might be and also choking to death and being alone when I die. EJ

[starlight78]

I've totally had this!
I was obsessed with the thought that one day I would die and cease to exist! It completely freaked me out.. I thought I would never to be able to enjoy life again having come to this realisation. This coincided with a bad bout of depression, as the depression lifted the constant thoughts lifted as well. It's so strange, but it doesn't trouble me at ALL anymore.
I've had depression since, but again it hasn't reared its head.

I think thoughts of death are another horrible symptom of anxiety and depression. Try to focus on living right now and believe that this fear will lift as you recover.

[Emma86]

I have this aswell. If I find the thought creeping up on me I have to distract myself. I've had times where I have cried at the thought of it and have this horrible feeling because its a complete loss of control, we're here now so we have to die. There is an end. I hate the thought of it, I just really try hard not to think about it else I'll go mad.
I do agree that anxiety sufferers worry about this more, just more problems to add to our condition!

[atalia831]

Thank you all for sharing. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I guess when you feel you're the only person in the world to have this fear, it seems ten times worse than it actually is.
It's only slightly gotten better. But, at least it's a start. I've also called my doctor to put me on medication.

I still cannot get the thought out of my head and not sure how to distract myself from the thought. Any ideas on distractions or coping mechanisms?

[starlight78]

Anti depressants really helped me, and diazepam in the short term to help me wind down in the evenings.

Susan Jeffers book "embracing uncertainty" has a fantastic chapter in it about dying which I found oddly uplifting, even in the midst of the worst of my fear.

This probably sounds a bit weird but I developed a neutralising image/thought when the awful fear struck. When I started to think about dying I imagined my version of a heaven. I'm not at all religious I should add, but it really helped calm me and take the terror out of the thoughts. I imagined a beautiful country cottage and my grandfather and grandmother (who had passed away) coming out of the front door to greet me, huge smiles on their faces and hugs for me. It sounds a bit bonkers now, but I have found neutralising images have helped me for this fear and also for a number of other intrusive thoughts.

X x

[fruity]

can i just add, there is life after death

[atalia831]

Yeah, I think the best for me is to start with anti-depressants so it doesn't get any worse. (Not sure how it could, but I'm not gonna sit around to find out.)

As for the neutalising image/thought, I might try that. Thank you. :D

[Gmanina]

I believe this is normal for all people. My mother passed last May and it was really hard to watch. But, on the other hand, I know she saw heaven because she was talking about it the night she died. This brings comfort for me
We all have our fears of this but I honestly think we will have a sense of peace when it is our time, I believe God gives us that

[atalia831]

Yeah, I'm gonna ask my doctor about anti depressants on Monday. I think that's a good start. I might try that neutralising image. It sounds like a good idea.

---------- Post added at 00:41 ---------- Previous post was at 00:36 ----------

Whoops, I forgot I already replied. Wasn't showing up.

Gmanina, I'm very sorry about your mother. I really hope so about it being peaceful. I think it's the dying part of it that freaks me out. The thought of stop breathing and living. it's scary. D:

I feel like I'm going crazy cause of how much I think about it. It's been almost consuming my thoughts.

[StevenN]

Gosh, what an interesting thread. I've always had such an intense fear of death – the inevitability and finality of it. I sometimes think that the only reason I'm not screaming all the time and going completely insane is because everyone else seems to keep it together (despite knowing the facts).

I used to scream at the top of my lungs whenever that part of my brain became active (in the middle of the night usually) but it hasn't happened for a while. I just try and bury the thoughts any way I can.

[indigogirl]

I use to be terrified of the thought and someone once told me, we all get a turn, and its one thing that guaranteed in our life. It sucks not knowing what is ahead, but I do know that we don't just die, there is life after death!! love and light to you

[Lilharry]

I'm pretty scared of death, but I try to remind myself that I'm not scared of the time before I was born, so what do I have to fear about death? But it's hard not to think about sometimes. I'm terrified of friends and family dying. :(

[shotokansho]

I obsess over this all the time and like everyone else it scares me so much I can go into a full blown panic attack. For me it's the though of never being here ever again, my life gone and me gone...I hate it and it makes me cry. I know I have to do it and have no choice but I try to reason with myself and tell myself that it wouldn't be nice living forever because I would have to see my children die, and that is something I defo couldn't bear.

Kez xx

[Tish]

There's a lovely book called 'Embraced by the light' by Betty J. Eadie that might help overcome your fears. It's the story of a woman who dies but comes back because it wasn't her time yet. I love spiritual stories like this, it helps when you've lost someone close to you x (she also has a website using the title of the book).

[frosty2901]

i to have recently had an increase in the fear of my death and the fear of loved ones dying it makes me cry to if i think about it to much it has certainly got worse since my health anxiety has started

frosty x

[Coppernob]

Reaching my 70th birthday last year really tipped me over into an overwhelming fear of death. While I was still 69 I could call myself middle-aged, but 70 suddenly seemed to feel like 'it's all downhill from here'. I have been a Church member for most of my life, but my faith is dodgy at best and non-existent sometimes! But I simply couldn't be among better people than the wonderful folk at my Church and it makes me more inclined to believe that there is life after death. Still doesn't stop me panicking in the early hours if I wake up!

They say 70 is the new 40 - load of rubbish but worth a laugh! I never had all these aches and pains at 40! The counsellor I saw last year (useless!) said what on earth is the point of worrying, death happens to everyone. Well, we all know that, don't we. Doesn't help when you're scared. I get just as scared, or more so, of something happening to my husband, who has had a mild heart attack and last year a blocked artery in his eye. I tell myself to try to live every day to the fullest, and not to think about tomorrow. Easier said than done :shrug:

[MelinaJane]

I'm pretty scared of death, but I try to remind myself that I'm not scared of the time before I was born, so what do I have to fear about death? But it's hard not to think about sometimes. I'm terrified of friends and family dying. :(

That thought is so true - we're not scared of the nothingness before we were born so why is death any different. That has helped me a lot, thank you Lilharry :)

[roseandwill]

I have these exact same fears, to the point that it is causing my very day life to suffer. Reading Starlight78 experience has given me some hope though. How are you getting on now? If you have any good tips on controlling and rationalising these thoughts let me know.
Good luck..

[Arnie365]

really interesting thread. I too have a fear of death and have been discussing it with my therapist. I still havent gotten to the bottom of what bit of death im scared of. Is it the nothingness? Is sadness and fear for me that I wont be around to experience life anymore or is it sadness for those I leave behind?

Not sure. One thing I do know though is that it has something to do with lack of control. I am realising that I dont cope well when things are outside of my control so dying is jarring against my deep inner thoughts.

I really get the point about the nothingness before birth. its so true. I believe when you are dead you are dead and you wont know anything about it so it does seem irrational why I fear it. If im right, when it happens i wont know anymore anyway.

The one thing anxiety has taught me though is that whenever we die, life is too short so letting it get in the way of living is wrong. This gives me strength when im feeling low. Also a great quote that was something like 'dont be scared of dying, be scared of never having lived.'

[natzsteveo]

Hi everyone I'm new to the site my name is natasha I'm 38 and have been a sufferer for many years but 6 yeArs ago I lost my mum to cancer and ever since every little pain I get I convince myself I have the big c too it's so scary just lately I've been woken up all panicky shaking can't keep off three toilet with my bowels I go set through and I don't know what is wrong does anyone else get this xxx please help xx