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animalluva69
19-03-13, 13:15
Basically I am 53 years old, unmarried, no children. Have a partner but we do not live together. Have been told by my GP that I have gone through the menopause but still get mild hot flushes. Am not on any medication....will only take it if I really have too. And touch wood am in reasonably good health, non-smoker, hardly drink alcohol and definately no drugs

No debts as was very happily made redundant couple of years ago and am now back doing same job as a contractor.......I am not highly educated but am hard working and give 110% to everything I do

To most people they see me as somebody who is easy going, talk to anyone, laugh at anything, will help anybody, adores animals, kind of wacky, stupid sense of humour and who is still very young at heart....and probably dresses way too young for her age!

But in reality inside I am dying............................if I could I would happily stay indoors all day every day, my flat is my safe haven and when I have to leave it, most of the time it is a nightmare. I am absolutely terrified of being sick, feeling dizzy or fainting in the street or in public. I work myself up into such a panic that a 35 minute lovely walk to work turns into a 15 minute dash which turns me into a sweaty bright red blob! And all because I pace my flat because I do not want to leave it.........this is not all the time but majority of the time and nearly all the time if I am going out on my own, if my boyfriend or friends are with me I cope better but even so always, always in my head is the thoughts of "What if..................I feel sick; feel faint;need to go to the toilet urgently etc etc"

And because I am so stressed I do end up feeling ill.......which then makes my panic worse because I start thinking am I really ill or is it just nerves.....so I go round in a never ending circle.

Which means I never enjoy anything.......I put off doing things because I get scared, and if I do meet up with friends after work I dash home so I can feel safe again. And eating out is something I avoid like the plague.........what if I get food poisoning? And this time of year with all these viruses going round.............there are days I feign sickness so as not to go into work just in case I catch something........ and don't ask how many times a day I wash my hands!

This has been going on for quite a number of years, probably all my life to some extent, but as I get older it seems to be getting worse, guess I am now thinking older I get more things wll go wrong.....I have spoken to my GP and did have a course of CBT but never went back when I was told I was going to be shown video's of people being sick and be put in a room with somebody who was feeling ill.......sorry but I just could not go through with it.

My boyfriend does know how I am and will listen to my rantings but I know I have got to try and get this under control........at my age I should not be living like this.......I feel so stupid and such a failure.

Daisy Sue
19-03-13, 13:31
and did have a course of CBT but never went back when I was told I was going to be shown video's of people being sick and be put in a room with somebody who was feeling ill.......sorry but I just could not go through with it.


? Really? There's no way I'd go through that kind of therapy either, and I'd bet most people would feel the same way. Did you ever go back to your GP and tell them why you'd come out of the CBT? It sounds very extreme to me, and nothing like the CBT therapy I received.

I would say you really need to unload all what you've told us to either your GP or another therapist.. you've got so much of your life sorted and perfect, yet your anxiety is stopping you from enjoying it. I know that feeling of just wanting to get home, and I often wish I could just relax when I'm out somewhere, but like you, home is my safety net, and I keep clock watching and feel relieved when it's time to go home.

animalluva69
19-03-13, 13:51
Hi Daisy Sue......thank you for you reply.......and you are soooo right, my life is sorted and relatively perfect and I should be enjoying it. I have never spoken since to my GP about my fears/panics but maybe I do need to speak to another therapist. Do you know just by writing this all down and not feeling like I am being judged as a mad woman........it has made me feel better......:hugs:

Cat lady
19-03-13, 20:07
Do not feel stupid or a failure, your none of these, you sound a lovely lady :) welcome to the site, im new myself and find this a great place, Ive never had CBT but your description of it doesn't seem at all helpful, Can you see another doctor? I hope you get some help with this,
all the best
xxx

ian hall
19-03-13, 20:30
Basically I am 53 years old, unmarried, no children. Have a partner but we do not live together. Have been told by my GP that I have gone through the menopause but still get mild hot flushes. Am not on any medication....will only take it if I really have too. And touch wood am in reasonably good health, non-smoker, hardly drink alcohol and definately no drugs

No debts as was very happily made redundant couple of years ago and am now back doing same job as a contractor.......I am not highly educated but am hard working and give 110% to everything I do

To most people they see me as somebody who is easy going, talk to anyone, laugh at anything, will help anybody, adores animals, kind of wacky, stupid sense of humour and who is still very young at heart....and probably dresses way too young for her age!

But in reality inside I am dying............................if I could I would happily stay indoors all day every day, my flat is my safe haven and when I have to leave it, most of the time it is a nightmare. I am absolutely terrified of being sick, feeling dizzy or fainting in the street or in public. I work myself up into such a panic that a 35 minute lovely walk to work turns into a 15 minute dash which turns me into a sweaty bright red blob! And all because I pace my flat because I do not want to leave it.........this is not all the time but majority of the time and nearly all the time if I am going out on my own, if my boyfriend or friends are with me I cope better but even so always, always in my head is the thoughts of "What if..................I feel sick; feel faint;need to go to the toilet urgently etc etc"

And because I am so stressed I do end up feeling ill.......which then makes my panic worse because I start thinking am I really ill or is it just nerves.....so I go round in a never ending circle.

Which means I never enjoy anything.......I put off doing things because I get scared, and if I do meet up with friends after work I dash home so I can feel safe again. And eating out is something I avoid like the plague.........what if I get food poisoning? And this time of year with all these viruses going round.............there are days I feign sickness so as not to go into work just in case I catch something........ and don't ask how many times a day I wash my hands!

This has been going on for quite a number of years, probably all my life to some extent, but as I get older it seems to be getting worse, guess I am now thinking older I get more things wll go wrong.....I have spoken to my GP and did have a course of CBT but never went back when I was told I was going to be shown video's of people being sick and be put in a room with somebody who was feeling ill.......sorry but I just could not go through with it.

My boyfriend does know how I am and will listen to my rantings but I know I have got to try and get this under control........at my age I should not be living like this.......I feel so stupid and such a failure.
i would like to talk to you in private some time but for now dont you dear be so hard on your self you are just you no worse no better then any of us if you can write about yourself like this you have a lot going for you
ian

---------- Post added at 20:30 ---------- Previous post was at 20:26 ----------

would like a chat with you when you are ready pm me
regards
ian

animalluva69
17-04-13, 17:18
Have been to the doc this morning as am trying to get over the flu but can't shake it off.......apparently my white blood cell count is low and guess what can cause that...............stress! Still I did bite the bullet and mentioned that my panics/negative thoughts are getting the better of me. Explained about the last lot of CBT and even she grimaced when I told her what I was going to be shown. So have another appt in a couple of weeks to go and have a chat.....wish me luck

Edie
17-04-13, 17:40
You did so well to speak to your GP and I'm glad she recognised that kind if therapy was not really very helpful! Your GP sounds like she wants to help, so that's positive news. I hope your next appointment goes well too.

StaffordEd
23-04-13, 12:48
Hi Animalluva69

I am 58 and had my first attack just before Christmas. I am not married no children living with my partner for 35 years ( you have to take your time with these things marriage is a big step ) I have a happy home and work life good social life so why me.

Anxiety/panic does not care who you are it will strike when you least expect it. When it hits you you spend the rest of the time looking over your shoulder waiting for the next one.

I think you are right seeking your doctors help and it is a shame that you pulled out of CBT. Clearly not right for every one. Unless there is some sort of behavioral therapy or a miracle its either live with it or long term medication. In my mind If i were on medication I would feel that I had lost the battle and that it would be lying in wait in the background ready to pounce.

I wish you well and hope you get back on track


Take care

Ed

hopey
24-04-13, 17:17
hello animalover. I thought I had problems, am feeling a wee better now
I have read about you. The best of luck to you.:flowers: