Driving!

[Basil]

Hi all, I am new to this site although I am not new to panic I am afraid to say, and I have suffered several times during the last 30 years.

I am a 49 year old Mum to 12 year old twins and started agin with panic in the 6 weeks sumemr holidays!

To cut a long story short, I had a couple of bad panics in the car, once when driving and again when I was a passenger. When I was driving, I had to pull up asap on a double Yellow, otherwise the car would have gone out of control. I had the most dreadful feeling of unreality - it felt like it was going to wipe me out, very scary. Plus the kids were in the car and I had to compose myself and I was balling my eyes out whilst I spoke to my mum on the phone 60 miles away! I eventially got home. But I was shaken up.

A few days later, hubby, me and the kids were in the car heading for my parents house 60 miles away but we had to turn back as I had another really bad do, just like the first one, only he was driving this time.

We got home and I went into a state of bad panic for a few weeks, as a result of the panics in the car and the shock of it I think, and I had to look after the kids too!!! I did not want them to see me in such a bad state. Thankfully my mate came and took the kids out when I was at my worst.

Where are we now you may ask? Well, I have virtually conquered the panics in the house and have been able to walk to the shop 10 minutes away. I have been around Homebase (our neighbour!) and even dared to go to Tescos in the car with hubby - its only a few minutes away. Also, last weekend I made up my mind to go in the car with my friend to a park 2 miles away where we sat for a couple of hours chattting. So that was great. She was driving. Thankfully I was ok coming home in the car too. But I still have to think about even being a passenger before I can do it, especially with my husband.

I feel that hubby doesnt understand you see and his mum certainly doesnt so I have told her the car is off the road at the moment - thats not a total lie actually. We did have an handbrake problem and it does need adjusting.

But I feel so awful not being able to tale the kids out anywhere, I feel useless. And I am bothered about how my husband is taking all this.

The worst thing is that dreadful over poweriing feeling of unreality. I even had it in the house to start off with. But its virtually gone now. Of course its different in a car because its so dangerous. And the idea of losing control, well........

So, as I said at the start of this post, this is the first time the car has been involevd in my panics. Because I can only walk to Aldi or maybe go in the car to the park with my mate at the weekend, I am virtually housebound and alone all day with my thoughts. This is only making any recovery further away. I need to be able to get in the car on my own and go into town or the beach or the park and overcome this, but I cant. This position I am in is, I feel, holding me back!! What can I do in the house that will COMPLETELY take my mind off all this?

I want things to be normal again, not next week or next month or tomorrow, but last week!!!

What can I do to get over this?
Thanks for listening.
Shirley

[mad_shell66]

hiya shirey, and welcome to the forum. nice too see you here.

im really sorry to hear about your panic, but you are not alone, far from it

people on the site will have full understanding of how you are feeling, which i feel helps.

there are lots of useful information on the site too, to maybe help answer questions you have in your head.

i cant answer your question of how to get over it, im sorry. i just feel everybody gets over this in their own way. but im happy to give you advice.

if you want to talk then please dont hesitate to PM me at any time.

i look forward to hearing from you soon :D

shell xxx

[honeybee3939]

Hi shirley

Welcome to the site

You certainly are not alone with your fear of driving, at the moment i am struggling too with my driving, there is lots of useful information on this site to use, im sure we will concur it!

Take Care

Love

Andrea
xxxx

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[nomorepanic]

Hi Shirley

A warm welcome aboard.

I am the driving queen on here! I am famous for my driving problems lol

Here is my Story ...

Nicola's Personal Story (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=mystory)

My CBT post is here..
CBT therapy for driving problems - my diary (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7162)

How to cope is here....

How to cope with Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias and OCD (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=coping)

Other driving posts are here ...

driving
Hi new member mom w/ panic and dp/dr (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1239)
Driving (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6038)
driving phobia (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5105)
Hi, I am new and need re-assurance (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6527)
Panic - When driving (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6631)
Panic attacks while driving (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7291)
CBT therapy for driving problems - my diary (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7162)

I have continued to drive throughout my 12 years of suffering and panic.

I have never passed out and I am perfectly safe to drive - it just doesn't feel like it at times

Hope all that lot helps!



Nicola

[tamla]

hi hun and first of all welcome to this wonderful sight well i just want to say your not alone on the feeling of unreality its the most desturbing and frightening experiance anyone can go thru i have had this now roughly about 9 years on and off and funny enough my first panic and that dreadfull feeling of unreality started in the car coming home from liverpool my husband was driving at the time thank god anyway we managed to get to the hospital were i broke down in tears i told the doc iwas loosing my mind i felt so unreal and everythink around me was unreal aswell he gave me a script for antidepressents and diazipam and said i was suffering with anxiety well as i said that was around 9 years ago anyway like you i still have the fear of driving i get real bad panic attacks and that dreadful fear of unreality i often sit here and think the waisted years ive had with it not able to do the things id love to do and the days waisted not been able to go out due to the panic anyway im babbeling on i just want to say your not on your own and i really do no wot your going thru but you will have good days aswell as set backs but we have this great sight were we can all be here for one another and you no your never alone its great to be able to talk to someone who can relate towhot your goin thru anyway take care luv tamla

t motown

[Basil]

Hi Andrea, Thanks for your kind welcome to the Forum. It is not funny is it, suddenly finding that you cant drive or get in the car. I have driven for 23 years so I am finding this difficult. Also, I am wondering what everyone must be thinking of me and are they thinking I am nuts or something?!!!

On a positive note, my not drivng is saving money!!

But as you say, and I have got to try and remain positive, WE WILL CONQUER THIS!

Thanks again.

Take Care

Love Shirley

[Basil]

Thursday 14th September 13.15pm

Hi Trac, Thanks for your kind welcome to the forum. Much appreciated. Its good to know that I am not alone with this position that I find my self in. How are you doing?

Take Care

Love Shirley

[Basil]

Thursday 14th September 13.14pm

Hi Nicola, Thanks for your warm welcome to the board and thanks also for your story and the other driving posts. Much appreciated. I will read them all soon and get back to you.

Take care

Love Shirley

[Basil]

14th September 13.20pm


Hi t motown, Thanks for your warm welcome to the wonderful site. Much appreciated. I am sorry to hear that you have been suffering with anxiety for 9 years on and off. Its awful, isnt it. And as you know, that feeling of unreality is sheer hell. Its a co-incidence your first panic was in the car with your husband coming home from Liverpool! I live in Southport!! I can understand why you would go to hospital with your first panic - for sure poeple who have never had this problem have no idea how downright awful it is, have they? It was panics in the car that set me back this time. The last time I had anxiety was 10 or 12 years ago so I know it does eventually go. But it has thrown me this time as it as involved the car for the first time. Have you seen a panic counsellor or anyone else similar about this? Or maybe you have tried listening to relaxation Cds. one thing I am trying to tell myself is that I cant be bothered to be frightened of it anymore and that it is boring!! If I tell myself often enough it might help the worry and panic disolve a bit.

I too have wasted a lot of time over the years with this so you are not alone in that respect.

So many thanks for your kind words. I know just how you feel too, how you all feel.

Take care
Love Shirley

[Basil]

13.14pm 14th September


Hi Hiddy, Thank you for your kind welcome to this great site. Much appreciated. I thought I was alone till I came here yesterday. Its great knowing that someone actually understands how I feel. In fact its quite a relief.

Take Care
Love Shirley

[Basil]

14th September 13.35pm

Hi Shell, Just a few lines to say that I have PMd you, ok? Thanks for your message. Much appreciated.


Take Care
Love Shirley

[Basil]

Hi all, Me again on a bright morning in Merseyside. I was thinking of you all over the weekend. Although I have still not managed to get into the car, I managed to do a mile walk on Friday and for the first time since the middle of the summer I actually went out of the house without thinking about it first! Howevr, I have not felt 100% over the weekend - headache and PMT - ish but my period is late due to the early symptoms of the Menopause. It is really not helping matters. I felt quite low when I got up this morning and got out my relaation CD to help wih the anxiety etc. It has visualisation techniques and explains about positive thinking etc (which I know isnt easy when things get really tough) but the CD helped this morning anyway. It would help me enormously if I had something to do all day whilst I am home alone - something that completely takes my mind off anxiety etc. Has anyone got any ideas? As it is, I just feel like sitting and crying all day! At least I have got my beautiful cat for company. If only someone would knock on the door and tell me all this will be over soon. Not just for me but for my husband and kids. I should be off to the hospital to get some blood tests done but I cant drive yet and wont use public transport either. Also I should go the the doctors to sort out HRT or something but the same applies. And its too far to walk to. The doctor said that they have some medication that would get me back into the car again! I am not sure what to think about that. Does anyone here know of such a medication?Its just that I told the doc when she came here that I could not get in the car and she said she had some medication to help with that! Is anyone taking anything for anxiety/panic on here? I am taking St Johns Wort. They did give me half inderal but I didnt like it. Well, I know what I want for Xmas this year - to be able to drive again and lead a normal life!

Thinking of you all.
Love Shirley

[breeeezie322]

hi shirley your story sounds very similar to mine. I have been driving for about 17 year s and in the last year and a half or more started having panic whilst driving. i also get the feeling of unreality if thats a word. Its great for me to know that lots of other people here have the same feeling as i thought i was losing it. i have 2 kids which i need to get places to and i gave up driving for nearly 6 months about a year ago and then had been driving for 8 months only local but comfortably and then about a month ago it started again. I know how you feel not being able to drive the kids around and crying at the drop of a hat its soooo frustrating. i have just started driving over the last week and a half or so and **** it is hard i wont lie but also is worth it. i am not exactly breaking distance records or anything but am able to go to take my daughter to school and go
] to the shops park etc with my son. Having said all that i was housebound initially through fear of EVERYTHING but i have to say the only thing that really helps me is walking and walking lots not fast or anything just strolling. As a big part of anxiety is adrenalin this helps use it up and is better than heavy exercise as that makes more adrenalin. its free and works you actually can think but not about problems just acutally take time to look at the birds, sky, children etc and slowly you realise that the world doesn't suck as bad as you think. i am not one of these people that usually gets into all that soppy stuff but when you feel as bad as i have which it sounds like you are then when things do get a little better its heaven. Don't get me wrong i am not great myself yet but things are a little less scarey. i am actually thinking of hypnotherapy as i have a new car and really would like to enjoy it. all the best to you. desi

[ksmith]

Hi Basil

Welcome to the site. I had a driving blip last year but I had to overcome it as I have to drive to my job. What I did was change my route to a really difficult one, eg, single track lanes, difficult junctions etc. That meant I had to concentrate on my driving and not think about ME.

I tried other things like making words out of number plates until one day I deciphered the word DIE from the plate in front which set me off again. I always keep things to eat, rescue remedy spray and a bottle of water as they can be used as a distraction if you feel yourself getting a bit panicky. Also keep my mobile phone to hand just in case I need to pull over and ring anyone. I'm totally over it now (thank god) but because I'm on meds I'm not sure if I'm better or not and won't know until I have the courage to come off them! Don't give up. Small steps is what everyone says here, even if it's just a little thing, it all goes to making a big difference. Good luck!

Kay x

[Dying_Swan]

Hi Shirley.

Just read your thread and feel compelled to write back.

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time at the moment, but you sound like a sensible person who has every chance of getting over this.

I used to suffer with bad panic disorder, feeling very faint and dizzy. I was always ok in the car, but when it was really bad, I hated stopping at traffic lights. Sounds daft I know, but for some reason I thought I'd faint when I stopped and people would see me and laugh.

I got over that, and then suddenly had a bad panic attack when trying to overtake a lorry on the motorway. It was windy and dark, raining, and I had a passenger with me. I felt like I was going to pass out, and was sure the car would career into the lorry and over the central reservation. I was desperate to stop on the hard shoulder, but knew that I'd never start again if I did. After that, I was scared of driving on motorways, and felt acutely anxious every time I did. But the most important thing was to make sure I carried on doing it and didn't stop. I know how awful it is feeling so out of control, and especially when driving because you are convinced you will lose control. The thing is....you won't.

Do you have a car at home during the day? I appreciate you don't yet feel up to driving it, but could you spend a little time just sitting in the car on the driveway? I think it is important to expose yourself, gently, to your fear. It is great that you are managing to go as a passenger sometimes. Keep doing that, and learn to accept the feelings of panic. Just acknowledge what they are, and that they aren't dangerous. After a while, you will feel more comfortable that you know what is happening, and that you can cope with it. It isn't nice, but it won't hurt you.

I think the key to overcoming this is learning not to run away when you are panicking. So, if you feel anxious as a passenger, try your hardest not to make the driver stop. The more you do it, the better it will get.

I'd suggest sitting in the car on the drive a few times and seeing how it makes you feel. Maybe you can turn the engine on....And when you feel a bit more comfortable, go for a short drive. It only needs to be around the block, or to the end of the street. Slowly increase what you can do. It is tough, but will be worth it in the end. And, as a passenger, increase the distances too.

As for sitting at home all day....that's horrid too. Do you work? I had a year off work and spent a lot of time sitting at home and getting very depressed. I used to get severe panic attacks in shops, but forced myself to make sure I went out to the shop every day, and slowly increased the time I spent there. I think a walk every day helps, and also doing things to take your mind off it. Do you like creative things? Like painting or scrapbooking or something. Or maybe you could try studying something you are interested in? Think of all the things you enjoy, and see if you can take them further and develop them into real hobbies (don't go too mad, because it can be very hard to concentrate if you're suffering with depression).


Sorry - I'm really rabbiting on! Finally - medications. You asked if there's anything to get you back into the car. I could be wrong, but I imagine your Doctor is talking about Benzodiazepines (Diazepam, Lorazepam etc). Or it could be Beta Blockers. Both of these can be used for relieving anxiety, but do have their complications. I've never tried Bach Rescue Remedy (apart from exams at school, which I can hardly remember now!), but from what I've read on here, it can be really helpful. Maybe that would be something to try?

I'll shut up now. Hope some (any) of this is helpful!

Best of luck and keep your chin up.

xx

[Dying_Swan]

Whoa! Just seen the date of your post and feel like a right eejit!! Lol. Well, I hope things are better now anyway!

[Pink Princess]

hey welcome to the site, hope to speak soon x x x take kare x x x

[nomorepanic]

Basil hasn't been back since Sept 2006 so I doubt will read this thread.

[Dying_Swan]

lol nevermind. Gave my fingers some exercise typing it out :winks: