Help please

[HB12]

Pure Hell
Can anyone please help?

I have suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember, but have always suffered mainly from the physical symptoms.

I am a happily married wife and mother but for the last few weeks and completely out of the blue, I've had a thought that I don't love my husband anymore. This has made me ill as before this thought I hadn't even considered it. I hate being away from him and still get butterflies when we've been apart or when he calls.

I cannot stop the thoughts though and they are getting worse and making me ill. I have tried reasoning with myself but its like my mind is re-writing history and making me think I've always felt this but never realised etc!

I have had other irrational thoughts over the last few months but this is the worst one by far.

Please help.

[ricardo]

Hi HB12, you say

I have suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember, but have always suffered mainly from the physical symptoms.

I am a happily married wife and mother but for the last few weeks and completely out of the blue, I've had a thought that I don't love my husband anymore. This has made me ill as before this thought I hadn't even considered it. I hate being away from him and still get butterflies when we've been apart or when he calls.

The parts I have reproduced in bold are very important as we all have ups and downs with our anxiety issues and the more anxious we get thousands of negative thoughts can overtake us.

I would go to your doctor and tell him/her exactly what you have posted here and literally spill out all your thoughts and feelings and have trust in the doctor as to the best course of action to take.

You may for one reason or another feel less secure or confident in yourself and this has brought on the way you feel right now. Good luck, you are not alone with these irrational feelings.

[HB12]

Thanks. I'm due to start taking Sertraline today and am praying its going to work. I am also waiting for a course of CCBT to start. I've always been an over thinker and when I had this particular thought, I had gone away for the weekend without him. I hate being away from him and cried the whole week before and couldn't even say bye to him I was so upset. I do have low esteem and confidence issues.

As this has been on and off since November, I need to get sorted.

Is this normal with high anxiety?

Regards

[ricardo]

HB

Everyone is different and react in different ways. You are starting Sertraline today and it will take a while to take effect but by the time you get started with your CBT course,hopefully you will have become less anxious.
If not consult your doctor for a reappraisil of your meds.

[anthrokid]

Heya HB,

"I am a happily married wife and mother but for the last few weeks and completely out of the blue, I've had a thought that I don't love my husband anymore. This has made me ill as before this thought I hadn't even considered it. I hate being away from him and still get butterflies when we've been apart or when he calls.

I cannot stop the thoughts though and they are getting worse and making me ill. I have tried reasoning with myself but its like my mind is re-writing history and making me think I've always felt this but never realised etc!"

I am currently in my fourth year of studying to be a psychologist, as well as having experienced anxiety and panic disorder myself, so hopefully I can help to put your mind at ease.

I've requoted some of what you said, and I'd like you to read back over. You've said that you are a happily married woman, that you hate being separated, and that you still get butterflies upon seeing your husband after being apart. All of this indicates to me a woman who is very much still in love with her husband. Sometimes anxiety drives us to think of things that we fear, and reply them in our mind. It is likely that you had a random thought one day that maybe you don't love your husband (which, I might add, is completely normal. Random thoughts pop up constantly, whether they ring true to our emotions or not). You may not feel that way, but the thought frightened you, which led you to keep pondering in fear. It creates a bit of a cycle, and you keep replaying the thought. It is usually the case when we think of something we know we do not believe - but anxiety makes us fear that maybe we do in our subconcious.

CBT is usually the most helpful in managing thoughts like these. It works to help you retrain your mode of thinking from negative to positive, and to help keep your thoughts moving rather than focusing on the same individual thought that invokes fear.

Anxiety affects everyone differently, and recurring thoughts is definitely one symptom people can suffer under high anxiety. Remember, just because you think something or fear something, it doesn't mean that the thought it true.

Sending positive vibes and encouragement your way. Best wishes for your CBT.