Im soo frustrated and even though i think once you have anxiety it stays with you forever, its just how you deal with it, im determined to somehow get rid of it.
My dads firend is a a spirtual person/card reader who claims he can help me with my irrational fears?? we shall see, and i also have the number of a counsellor.
Its making me so mad because i understand anxiety but my brain seems like its a seperate thing to my mind.
Anyway does anyone else have any positive anxiety help?
That's exactly where I was going wrong ,getting frustrated. That means you're almost trying to fight anxiety. You need to somehow learn to accept that you have it, and that it's here.
I try this often although sometimes, like you, I lose my rag with it and just want to give up!!!
Learn acceptance, don't fight the feelings of anxiety. It really sounds to be like CBT would help you alot more than a counsellor and a zillion billion trillion times more than a spiritual card reader.
Steven
That's exactly where I was going wrong ,getting frustrated. That means you're almost trying to fight anxiety. You need to somehow learn to accept that you have it, and that it's here.
I try this often although sometimes, like you, I lose my rag with it and just want to give up!!!
Learn acceptance, don't fight the feelings of anxiety. It really sounds to be like CBT would help you alot more than a counsellor and a zillion billion trillion times more than a spiritual card reader.
Steven
Thanks Steveo,
It makes sense what you say :), i feel like i am definitely loosing my rag with it. How do you learn to accept? I think my mind is stubborn!
Have been for CBT 3 years back but willing to try it again, also been for hypnosis but sat there with one eye open! lol
Hi nattynatt, I reached the same point as you recently and decided I really needed to change. I'm making some really good progress, and even my doc today told me that she thought I seemed much more relaxed and happier than the last time I saw her (about a month ago).
There is so much we can do to help ourselves with anxiety, but I've found the most vital thing is learning to get going when you feel frozen with fear. The worst thing I've done in the past is allowing myself to sit in the anxiety instead of taking action to help myself. I believe that to cure anxiety we have to be proactive and have a very active part in our own recoveries, rather than looking outside ourselves for the answers.
I'll type out a little list of books and methods that are literally helping to change my life, and maybe they'll help you too.
- Counselling: I see you're about to start that! You will never regret it :)
- Meditation: 15/20 mins twice a day. There's lots of research into how it can help with all kinds of health problems, including anxiety. In fact it was a doctor who recommended it to me. I've found it hugely beneficial to my state of mind. This book really helped me understand how it works for stress & how to do very simple, easy meditation: Soul-Centered by Sarah McClean. Of all the things I'll type out here today meditation is the one you should really try.
- Relaxation methods: I have several different stress relief and relaxation CDs that I listen to a couple of times a week. Relaxation works the same way as meditation, it is essential to good mental health. In particular a book/CD package called Control Stress from Paul McKenna I find really good.
- Breathing methods: Again they help to relax you, especially if you're feeling a bit panicked. I find the simplest one is 7/11 breathing. Breathe in for 7 counts and out for 11 counts - it will change the levels of CO2 in your body and literally help you slow down and relax. You can do it anywhere, I often use it at work or on a packed tram!
- EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique, it's a tapping technique that you use to release old traumas and current problems. Since I've learned this I've not had a panic attack, I can always stave them off with tapping. It sounds crazy, but many people across the world find it works. You can go to Youtube and find lots of videos that will teach you about how to do it, it's simple and effective!
- Exercise: Essential for raising those feel good hormones in your body, it is absoutely necessary to do if you're fighting anxiety. It doesn't have to be a big workout every day, just 20mins of brisk walking is enough to get things working for you. Yoga is wonderful for anxiety, it will really help you release tension in your body - we get so tense and tight from all the stress. I do a little gentle yoga every morning, nothing too difficult, just a couple of things I learned from Youtube, and it really helps start the day on the right food.
- Diet: Avoid things that will make anxiety worse by affecting your nervous system, so no sugar, alcohol, caffeine and processed foods/drinks. This doesn't mean never ever eat them, it just means don't have them regularly. Make sure you never skip meals, especially breakfast. Sometimes with anxiety we can be low on things like B vitamins or magnesium due to high stress levels, so it can be good to supplement. Ask your doctor about this first if you're on any medication, or to get your bloods checked.
- CBT: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is really good for people with anxiety, it will help you look at your thought patterns and change negative ways of thinking. If you can't afford a course then here's a great free online course to get you started: https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
- Choosing to heal: I made the decision to get better instead of remaining trapped in my anxiety. It's not exactly easy, but once you make a firm decision to heal then that's the beginning. A book called Conscious Medicine by Gill Edwards helped me to realise that I had to take control of my own healing and forge my own path out of anxiety, it changed my life. I had always looked outside myself for answers, prayed for help, but eventually I realised it wasn't going to get better unless I put in some real effort myself.
- Reaching out for help: It's important that you get support going through all of this, so find out what's in your area that can help you. There may be some anxiety support groups nearby that you could join? A friend who you can confide in or a doctor you can chat to about it? Choosing to heal doesn't mean that you do it all by yourself, but that you use whatever tools the universe sends your way, including other people. If you talk to others you'll be surprised how many of your family or friends also suffer with the same problems.
- Stop battling and start accepting: The book Self Help For Your Nerves by Claire Weekes helped me to see that battling anxiety just creates more stress! She teaches you how to just simply start accepting how things are and learn to relax into the healing process. I can't recommend this book enough, and I know there are others here who will agree.
- Be good to yourself: The nicest thing about healing from anxiety is learning to be good and kind to yourself. Treat yourself as you would a friend who was suffering with the same problem. Make sure you do something nice for yourself every day, even if it's just something as simple as a bubble bath, listening to your favourite album or reading a good book. Don't give yourself a hard time for having this problem, for having a bad day, or for taking a step back. You are only human, you will have bad days, but the important thing now is that you are working on it.
- Laughter. I know that sounds cheesy! But actually there's science to it! Laughter and joy give you hits of endorphins, those chemicals that make you feel good. You need to bring lots and lots of endorphins into your life, keep those happy hits coming and eventually it will raise your mood levels. Watch your favourite comedy TV shows, go see a live comedy act, hugs give great endorphin hits, as does exercise - do something joyful and light everyday, as often as you can. The book Conscious Medicine will teach you that we are programmed for joy, we are happy and healthy when joy is in our lives, so it's important (and wonderful) to cultivate joy in our lives.
- Learn about anxiety. If you do a little reading on anxiety and stress, and learn to understand it more, it can take a lot of the fear out of it. When you see how it's all just chemical reactions in your body it somehow lessens that fear. It's also wise to recognise the importance of relaxation and how essential it is to your recovery. It's important that you understand what's happening to your body and mind, it will put you in a much better position for positive change.
- NLP: Neurolinguistic Programming is another therapy that I've found really helpful. I've gone for a couple of sessions and always get some really practical tips for dealing with issues and stress, as well as reframing how I'm approaching a problem. There are some great books and Youtube videos out there on NLP too, if you can't afford to go to a session.
- Be passionate: Discovering yourself, what you're passionate about and the things that make you happy is another key to recovery from anxiety. It's important to delve into the good things in life and to begin realising that life doesn't just happen to you, but that you create it yourself. Maybe try taking a night class, try something new, find out what makes you tick and what you can do in your spare time to make you feel good.
- No excuses: I know from my own past that I gave myself so many different reasons not to recover - I didn't have the time, I didn't have the money, these methods didn't work, I wasn't able to do it myself, I didn't want to avoid the foods that made me feel bad, I had to wait until I was feeling healthier, I needed a better job/more money/more time - a billion different reasons to stay feeling bad! Eventually I realised that I simply just had to learn to make myself happy in the moment, there was no other choice because there will never be a perfect time to get better. And I also realised that I simply *had* to take time out of my day for certain things like meditation and relaxation - it always seemed like a nuisance, but when you realise that this time is essential to feeling good, that's it's better to spend 20 mins meditating than watching TV, you begin to prioritise what's truly important. It is all about priorities, what's most important to you.
Phew, that was a lot!!! I hope I haven't overwhelmed you, it all just came pouring out. :blush:
I don't mean it to sound like I'm a know-it-all on anxiety, or that my life is perfect now. But it's just that these are realisations that I've come to in the last few months, and they're really helping me to change my life. I truly feel that I am getting better.
I do still have bad days or times when I feel edgy, but I just accept how I feel, start doing some of these methods and eventually it passes. In time I hope to be much better than I am today.
I've been suffering with anxiety for almost 7 years now, and in that course of time I've learned a lot about it. No one person has been able to sit down and explain all of this to me, I had to work it all out from different books and sources. I kind of wish I had understood it all 7 years ago, but then I wouldn't be the person I am today :)
Sorry again for the giant post, I hope that you find some help in it xx
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.