fiance just left for three weeks

[swgrl09]

I am so anxious already and miss him. I feel stupid.

I am also freaking out a bit because he did not get his promotion yesterday and now he has until October until they review him again. Then he will either get promoted or let go, no other option. That's how the program he is in works.

There is no reason he didn't get it either, he was rated highly skilled or just under highly skilled for everything. No bad ratings. I don't know what we'd do if he lost his job in october ... It's a really tough work program. He is my health insurance once we get married and currently is our only income.

Ugh I am stressing majorly.

[sarahsarah]

Oh I feel for you, swgrl. My husband works away for at least half the year, sometimes I go with him but sometimes that isn't possible due to the nature of his work, so we end up spending quite a bit of time apart. However, his absences really make us appreciate our time together. I know three weeks feels like forever now but it really will pass. You will miss him but don't be afraid to spend some time on your own, it can be really pleasurable, and think about how lovely it will be to see him when he gets back.

I can also sympathise with your income situation. I took voluntary redundancy last year so for the first time in my life, I am not working. I am concerned about our financial position in the future. The industry my husband works in, like almost every other one, is only going to get smaller over the next few years and if he loses his job, I fret about where either of us would get another from. We too have bills to pay and health insurance to see too (we're based in the States so have no option with that) However, that is not something either of us can do anything about, same as your situation. People lose jobs all the time, for whatever reason, and go on to find new ones. I am a natural worrier, hence why I am on this site at all, but even I can see that getting anxious about something I have absolutely no control about is pointless. (Doesn't mean I don't, though!) There's no reason to think your fiancé won't get promoted next time round.

I don't know if there's any reason why you can't work, other than the current job situation, but is there anything stopping you from looking for employment? At least then you would feel like you were doing something pro-active, just in case.

I hope the next three weeks passes quickly for you xx

[swgrl09]

Thanks for your response, Sarah. I appreciate somebody understanding where I'm coming from. I tell myself that there is nothing I can do about it and no reason he won't get promoted or find something else by then, just hope it has health insurance.

I am browsing for part-time work. I was working part-time but I am working on my master's degree at the same time and doing an (unpaid of course :mad:) internship for my schooling. It was getting to be very stressful with anxiety too and my fiance told me we were ok if I needed to just focus on school. This was before we found out about his job situation possibly changing in the future.

So now I would like to find part-time work but worry it will be too much for me. Starting in June I will be interning more than I am now, it will be almost 40 hours a week, plus classes. I wish I could get paid for my internship but we are not allowed to. So if I can find something that will fit my changing schedule, I am considering it but so far nothing has turned up.

---------- Post added at 09:38 ---------- Previous post was at 09:36 ----------

Everybody keeps sending messages to me joking about how he is running away before the wedding (our wedding is in May) and that this will break us now, normally I'd laugh it off but I am in a bad mood and want to tell them all to shut up! :mad:

Thanks for your support, again :hugs:

[sarahsarah]

You're welcome. I don't think there's a person in the world who doesn't have some level of worry about their financial future, even they're in a seemingly stable job, just that some people deal with the worry well and some don't. We have a good standard of living at the moment but it is all dependent on my husband's salary so if that were to go, our lives would change quite a lot. However, it doesn't mean it would necessarily be a change for the worse, just the start of something new.

Three weeks really is nothing, your relationship is strong enough to be getting married so it is certainly strong enough to last a mere three weeks apart. The people who are joking with you are just messing, if they seriously thought it would split you up, they'd probably say nothing now.

Doing a Masters/ internship is a tough time but you're doing it because you want a better future for yourself. It will all be worth it in the end xx

[Annie0904]

My husband works away a lot and it can be hard and lonely sometimes. £ weeks isn't too long though.
Just delete those messages, don't let them get you down. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[BobbyDog]

You have each other to get you through the good times and bad, two halves of one whole as some would say.

You will get through the next few weeks, plenty of time to concentrate on your studies.

[swgrl09]

Yes, you're right. I plan on getting a lot of projects done ahead of time so that as it gets closer to the wedding I don't have to worry about them when I am busier.

Just talked to him on facetime, he is working so hard already.

I applied for a part time job at the hospital where I intern and they already called me today to come in for an interview in a couple of weeks. It is better than my work before that I had to leave because I love what I do at my internship. That has made me feel a little better.