berevement

[lavender123]

hi there everybody sorry if i spelt berevement wrong, i have had anxiety/panic and depression for as long as i can remember,it has never gone away, i have had anti depressants , therapy, i have been to hormone/ specialists, things seemed to get better, in good spells, then at christmas just gone, my mother died , and i coped very well, but the last few weeks the anxiety has come back with a vengence, i feel dizzy tired all the time, depressed and lost, i am trying to feel positive, but i feel so low,i fell out with a younger member of my family a few weeks ago over something silly, and said sorry but the person said thats it dont want to know anymore, it feels like i have come to the end of my tether,with everything, i have been taking rescue remedy, and trying to stay calm, i keep thinking maybe its the shock coming out. any advice would be appreciated.:weep:

[swgrl09]

Hi Lavender, I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss of your mother. My mother died a little over two years ago now and it is the hardest thing I have been through in my life.

I was in shock after her death for months honestly. It felt like I was walking around in a dream or something. Then a few months after her death I just sobbed uncontrollably for like a week straight. Since then it has been up and down battles with the grief. The important thing is to not push it away but to let yourself feel. I did not always do that and it made the feelings worse.

Are there any grief support groups out there near you? They can be helpful.

:bighug1::bighug1: I am so sorry you are on this journey now too of losing your mom. It is life-changing.

[cazzy]

Hi Lavendar , i lost my Dad 4weeks ago ,but befor then my anxiety had hit the roof , i wasnt coping well looking after him ,as he had a heart attack and stroke and lung disease he was so demanding ,it tore my nerves ,we didnt speak or i didnt visit him fro 3 weeks up until the day he was admitted into hospital with a chest infection and me going to visit him that day nd running into the Mental Health Unit next door ,not knowing what i was doing there ,in extreme panic and selfish of me not wanting to look after him all over again , anyways 3 days later he passed away , i still beat myself up to this day , im arguing with my husband , havin constant panic/anxiety attacks and feeling im not coping. I understand the feeling falling out with a family member, i did also to be spoken down the phone of how lucky i was to be left any money or anything at all after Dads passing and for it to be rubbed in my face where was I in the last 3 weeks ......sorry if im sounding morbid ,but i feel no-one wants to talk to me about Dads passing and i do find by letting loose and writing on these threads help , it feels a problem shared is a problem halfed ....if you feel you want to inbox me plz do so , im wandering with a fogged head ..xx

[Edie]

Hi Lavender,

Firstly, I am very sorry for your loss.

Grief is never a smooth road. It does take a little while for the reality of your loss to kick in. I was warned this starts to happen at about 3 months. I'd say that's probably what you're experiencing right now. It is normal, and you won't always feel this way.

[steveo]

This thread has just made tears come out my eyes. I can't even begin to say how sorry I am for your loss and everyone else's losses.

Despite a life of anxiety, I've never lost anyone that close to me and still have my parents. I'm unbelievably close to my father and I just don't know what I could do if I lost him.

My girlfriend lost her brother last year and that was a tough journey for her but I've been with her the whole time and I've seen such an improvement. Time is the only healer for such a horrible thing.

Prehaps I might be able to suggest a bereavement counsellor and a chat to the GP.

Again, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

All my very very best
Steven x

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Lavender I'm so sorry that you have lost your Mum. You are bound to feel devastated and lost. Allow yourself to grieve and to come to terms with your loss. My Dad died in April 2011 and it is hard but you will be given the strength to cope. Finding pictures and memories of your Mum of happier times will help. Allow yourself to cry and please talk to someone about your loss. EJ.

[lavender123]

thanks to all of you who have sent anweres and advice, i think you are the only people that really know what its like to be carrying round this anxiety plus this alful loss i am glad someone suggested that this grief kicks in about three months after the passing, i hope thats what it is, i have never known pain like this, its like a gnawing gap inside, i am so glad i posted on this forum and i will hopefully will try and get some counselling, i tried that before 6 years ago when my dad died and younger sister, and i couldnt deal with the talking, etc. maybe this time i willtry and persevere as people have said its only three months, lots of love to you all .x

[ruthless]

So sorry for your loss Lavender

I lost my mum in November last year - 6 months ago now.
I thought I had coped well with the funeral and all the other things that needed sorting out, and then my anxiety started all of a sudden 6 weeks after her death.

You need to grieve, take it easy, and make time for yourself.
If you don'f feel better, make an appt to see your gp.

[lavender123]

cassy if its only four weeks since your loss, no wonder you feel in a fog, please be kind to yourself, thats what i have been doing or trying to do. treat yourself to a little bunch of flowers or a nice skin cream, do what you want to do what makes you feel better, we are in the some boat. take one day at a time. x

[cazzy]

Thanx Lavender, ive never experianced losing someone so close to me especially my own DAD , i feel kind of selfish posting on youre thread , i just had a down day yesterday and seeing youre thread i left wildfire , so sorry to hear of the loss of youre sister too , i really cant imagine how you feeling ,i never knew feeling like this would be so bad , then the things thrown at me , emptying Dads house and handing keys over , certificates , funeral , bills and im an only child and no support off my mum or realitives and poor hubby is having it all in the neck from me ...sorry for ranting xx .... i do feel reading threads that you can and will get over the feelings as others have experianced , sorry for this thread and ty for advice , maybe those bunch of flowers il buy later for myself , also i have found looking back at pictures help me put a smile on ones face ....ty xx