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Wiz
24-03-13, 06:01
Hi,

I'm Ian, I'm 39 and originally from the UK but now living in Thailand. My panic attacks started in my early 20's and slowly increased in intensity and frequency until I was basically suffering from it virtually 18hrs a day.

I was originally prescribed a drug called Buspar, and told to take it when I started feeling bad, very bad advice indeed from the doctor I saw. Having had no joy there I went on to Propranolol which had a mildly better effect but still nowhere near what I needed. It wasn't until I was living in Cheshire a few years later that I met a tough doctor. This guy didn't suffer fools gladly, if you had a common cold you were fired out of the door, and funnily enough this is just what I needed. I'm very nervous when it comes to taking medication. It scares me because I feel I might not be in control of myself. I expressed this fear to Dr Rigby Jones, you basically said "Look Ian, if you want to get better, take the f***ing medicine.

He prescribed me what at the time was a brand new drug, Seroxat (Paroxetine) 20mg once a day in the morning. I was so desperate I took them, and almost immediately started feeling better. Normally a drug which increases Serotonin takes a while to kick in, because it has to build up to a level, but I noticed a pretty much immediate effect, unless it was just me telling myself I felt better. I still had attacks, but they were milder, and I really didn't worry about why, or what if, I would have an attack, deal with it, and not worry about it. By this time I had become a virtual agoraphobic, scared to go out in case I got it, never saw any friends etc. Now with the help of this drug I began to move around a little, just short distances at first. I also saw a Community Physciatric Nurse, a chap who would come round one afternoon a week. He asked me to keep a daily record of attacks, and grade them one to ten in severity. Within weeks he could use them to prove to me my attacks were getting less intensive. In the end after 6 months or so, I was out and about again, and almost back to normal, except I still took the medication. I then moved to Scotland, and in an attempt to really prove to myself I was fit and well, went to work on Fishing Trawlers! (Most dangerous job in the UK!!) Not long after this I slowly stopped taking Seroxat, one every other day, one every two days etc until I didn't take them at all. I haven't taken them for over 7 years now, and moved to Thailand in 2006 when my father died. That was a bad time, and whilst I had some nasty attacks used my mind more than pills to overcome it.

Seven years here in Thailand and now working for a US computer company, three months ago I started to get bad again. I was really bad for around a week, and again this last week has been a nightmare. The system here is very different to the UK support and medically wise. You have to pay for everything, from seeing a doctor to paying for your medicine. After trying to find someone in Psychiatry at some of the local hospitals the other day, and to be told a)they didn't have any or b)he would be in on April 26th, the Thai doctor who I had seen decided to prescribe me Seroxat again. I bought them yesterday, cost me nearly 60 quid for a months worth! I really don't want to start taking them again, but do feel bad at the moment and I know they will help. Because I have suffered with this for so many years, when I found this website around an hour ago, I thought I might be able to meet some like minded people and maybe even help some myself which in turn would help myself. Apologies for such a long intro :)

leenalou
24-03-13, 06:23
hi just wanted to :welcome: you to nmp its a great site and im sure you will get the support you need

Cat lady
24-03-13, 13:51
I came on here to post I've had a relapse today, bloody Tears steaming down my face, read ur story and I'm not alone, I hope you feel better soon, hugs xxx

Tufty
24-03-13, 15:35
Hello and :welcome: Ian

Thanks for sharing your story, I can identify with many parts of it in particular the reluctance to take medicine, the slow recovery and years managing your anxiety without medication (although I've never been a trawlerman) Unfortunately doctors like your Dr Rigby Jones are a dieing breed, sometimes we need sometone to tell us to just take the tablets, I hope the Seroxat works as well for you this time
Sam

Mark13
24-03-13, 22:50
Glad to have you with us, Ian.

I've found a great deal of support and guidance since I've been here.

I'm sure you will too.

Wiz
27-03-13, 23:27
Thanks for your kind responses, only problem now is I've heard so many stories about people having nightmares when they go back on to Seroxat I'm too scared to take them! Also I had to quit my job this week, just too ill to do it.

Lilharry
28-03-13, 02:23
Welcome! I think go back on the drug - it worked for you before so it sounds like good fit for you. If I had tried something that actually worked for me, I would definitely have stuck with it. Maybe just make sure you have a plan in place in case things are a bit hard going and remember that the drugs can make you feel worse before you feel better. Give yourself some space and time to get used to them and don't feel bad that you're going back there. These things happen and it is out of our control and it isn't a reflection on you as a person. I've been posting this link in just about every one of my posts, but there might be something useful in tehre that can help you - it's a series of online courses that can really help your thought processes and get you back on track, so might be worth a shot http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

Thumbelina
28-03-13, 02:55
Hi Ian.
Its great you found this site.as i also like you live in a foreign country and the supoort system different and there is a big stigma in society as well as i can loose my job and get kicked out of this country if my condition will prevent me from doing my job properly.
And all this just puts even more pressure when you are in the middle of the panic attack cycle.
Talking to people on here helps massively to me as it gives me some kind of normality feeling as there are so many intelligent kind successful caring wonderful people that are on this site and experience exactly what.you are now.
I.also had a long gap in between my last episodes a d before the ladt one came i totally forgot thatbi have ever had attacks. But our life will always have stress.and because we prone to this reaction to stress we might be having them again. With me i know now i can deal with lots.of stress at a time and can handle tremendous pressure when the situation occurs, and my reaction is adequate at crisis situation most of the time. But the real reaction goes in the "panic attack bank" and when i am the most vulnerable it all explodes and i have the lapse...last time i had enormous pressure and disaster after disaster for about 9 months before it all erupted. I also went back on medications cipralex.5mg
I am trying now to try and resolve as many emotional issues on the spot as this should technically help, but i dont like upsetting people.so its very hard for me to be open about everything.
Hope you will take advantage of.this site and also as far as i know the american hospital in bangkok is considered the best. I know many ppl travelling there from all over the world for check ups and treatment.
Hang in there Ian.

---------- Post added at 07:55 ---------- Previous post was at 07:53 ----------


I came on here to post I've had a relapse today, bloody Tears steaming down my face, read ur story and I'm not alone, I hope you feel better soon, hugs xxx

Hope you will feel better soon cat lady..(0)