A constant dream state

[steveo]

Hi guys.

Not sure if alot of you have been following my many posts on here over the last 3 months. In short, had a massive breakdown and trying hard to get back on my medication but to no real avail.

Over the last few days, my adrenaline rushes of panic have died down quite a bit but replaced with a constant state of not feeling real.

I understand this is depersonalisation but why is it constant?

I don't feel real, I feel like this is a dream. I can't get my head around anything outside of me. The more I think about it the more I do start to panic. This feeling makes me scared to be around people or noise as I can't handle it. Along with this feeling comes extreme sudden fatigue. I try to ignore this feeling and tell myself that it's just a symptom but it's so hard when I'm having trouble connecting with the world around me.

My emotions feel really flat along with all this. I don't feel anything. My only real emotion is depression. Why is nothing around me real? Why can I not connect with the world around me?

This makes it hard to recover I feel. Please help reconnect me with reality and take me out of this dream that I'm in that never ends.

[PanchoGoz]

Try mindfulness. I've left a post on the "Derealization...need help!" thread you might find helpful.
It's there mch of the time as you are on high alert a lot of the time, even if it doesn't feel like it. It will lessen if you loosen your focus on it. It's interesting to see if it goes after some serious relaxation.

[steveo]

Thanks Pancho. I'll have a read of that later on. For now... I have 2 bad things to deal with.... I have to leave the house to go to the doctors surgery (badly agoraphobic) AND have my bloods taken (slightly bothered by that at the best of times).

Maybe being in a dream like state will be in my favour for such a trauma....FML

[PanchoGoz]

It most likely is. Insulating you from reality a little is actually beneficial, as long as you don't dwell on it too much. You can get through it, when it's done it's done :) Just take it one step at a time, baby steps x

[drk]

i went through a stage of not feeling real for well over 2 years. it has to be the strangest and most worrying thing i have ever experienced.. BUT i can assure you everything is real. i had the fear of it instantly turning back to reality and not being able to cope but its a long gradual process that takes time, if you get your attacks and anxiety under control then the 'unrealness' doesn't bother you. at times you might think to yourself that this doesn't seem real then it goes away, just don't let it hold you back from getting on with you're life and work.

[Lissa101]

I'd echo what drk says in terms of not letting it hold you back in life. My DP/DR gradually went away but I was left with brain fog/feeling tired/dreamy/detached. To be honest I think it comes from all the over thinking because we become hugely inward looking as people. We are always thinking, questioning, rationalising. I'm talking about months of being trapped inside your own head trying to come up with answers and solutions - no wonder we get detached from the world around us! If you try and engage with life as much as possible and use your therapy to help break out of the thought cycles then it will go away with time. No-one you meet will ever notice - I've had conversations with people where I have felt I could just float away and it took all my strength just to come up with replies.

Try and focus on the positive - you're moving on and getting away from the horrible, paralysing panic/adrenaline state. I'd be very surprised of your body and mind weren't completely knackered after being on 24/7 danger alert for 2 months :)

xxx

[steveo]

Thanks for the replies. It does make sense. Just very scary sometimes. Just wish I could feel a bit more connected. I'm sure it will improve. I hope.

[Thumbelina]

Hi Steve, i agree with all and especially Lissa. We become too involved with ourselves and all we do we are checking on ourselves inside how is our anx is doing - this gives us that feeling.
What helps me to start breaking it - is starting doing little petty jobs and tasks around you ghat require your concentration.. Like for ex gardening, sorting some really messy drawer or smth else that you would in normal time consider as extra work and would like to put ot off for later. Doing this gves me a massive satisfaction, takes for a moment your mind off your inner self, proves you are not totally disabled by anx and in return lowers anx level.