So scared and fed up of it all

[sparkle_1979]

Sorry to be posting again I'm just having a really bad day

I am going to the doctors on Thursday and I'm really preparing myself for bad news

I'm convinced I prob have RA

My neck has been cracking every time I turn it for the last 6 mths or so, I have episodes of aching joints that seem worse after a virus then disappear for mths and then return again

I've got a bloody lump under my wrist that's I'm hoping is a ganglion cyst and not something worse, but these can be related to arthritis

I have two babies 1 and 3 how the hell am I supposed to be a great mum if I get ra and can't run around with them.

Sorry just a really bad day and feeling sick to my stomache with worry. All I do is think the worst and all I want to do is have fun with my kids not putting on this front to everyone and underneath being a complete nervous wreck :weep:

[countrygirl]

Having a few friends with RA I would expect you to have hot swollen joints. Has the Dr done blood tests for inflammatory conditions??

Cracking of the neck is not usually a sign of anything dreadful, most people have some wear and tear in the neck. If it accompanied by severe arm pain then that would be more suspicious.

Sounds very much like you have a ganglion on your wrist, my husband has had one for about 10 years. You can tell the difference between bone and them as ganglions are very round and very hard not nobbly at all.
This will make your eyes water but my husband when his gets so big its annoying him, wallops it hard on the edge of a desk and bursts it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not something I would recommend of course. He then has maybe two years before it fills up again.

Your having a worst case scenario day- we are all guilty of this.

Do you carry the young child alot on one side of your body, I got awful aches and pains when my son was young as he was a big boy and I carried him on my hip.

[sparkle_1979]

I've never been tested for RA. I went to the doctors last summer as I had aching joints for a few weeks, the doctor thought it was viral arthritis, said it would clear in three mths or so, it did :)
Last mth I had a bad virus and I've been aching ever since. I don't have anything swollen I just ache in random places and its nothing to painful, just pinching pains all over really. In the last week it is much better.

This neck thing bothers me the most, I can't move my neck without sounding like a bowl of rice crispies

I don't really carry the girls that much anymore, I did at one point think it was prob this making e ache country girl x

[Tessar]

Sparkle..... What you need to so is keep busy between now and your appointment. Fill your mind with anything but that. Change your focus and stop worrying. I know it's easy for me to say, because I'm not in your shoes and don't have the same worries, but one thing for sure is that you worrying about the outcome of the appointment is NOT going to change the outcome. The most certain thing I know if I get too worried is it makes me feel like crap so I really do sympathise with you. So, what advice would you give to others in this situation? Be kind to yourself.... Try to distract yourself perhaps? C'mon, give yourself a break (for want of a better saying.....). Now, get that mind of yours busy elsewhere. Who else has posted today that you can help? That'll maybe help u feel a bit better? We are all in this together here so don't forget we will be thinking about you as well. Big hugs to you and yours......:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bi ghug1::bighug1::bighug1::scared15::scared15::scare d15::scared15::scared15::flowers::flowers::flowers ::flowers::flowers::flowers::bighug1:

[sparkle_1979]

Thank you honey. You're so right and the reason I'm prob in this state the last few days is husbands working away and we are snowed in with a big 10ft snowdrift down my road so I've had too much time to think and worry where usually I'd be busy doing nursery run, shopping ect....

I need to get a grip!!!

[Tessar]

The only grip u need to get hold of is your shoes on the snowy ground.....!
It must be much harder when u r dealing with everything on you own....
Here are some friends who would like to look after you......:wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub:

[sparkle_1979]

Lol thanks....:)

I'm worse on my own thats for sure

[sparkle_1979]

Well today even my nails hurt what the heck that about? X

[Pinktel]

Sparkle my neck snap crackles and pops also! When I do my stretching for my aerobics DVD I sound like a box of fireworks!

I also get random aches which I just put down to my thyroid being dead and the thyroxine just never being able to replicate a true hormone. I know I jhave tested positive for Anti nuclear antibodies which cause RA but they are in low concentration and apparantly loads of people test positive but never develop anything from them.

Sometimes it is so bad I can't fold more than a few towels in the washing pile before needing to rest my arms, someways I don't notice it al all.

My granny had RA and her joints were so swollen there was no denying it was RA so that is what I always tell myself if I find myself considering the possibility it is lurking somewhere.

Also as we are tuned into our bodies in an unhealthy way we constantly scan and pick up on symptoms others wouldn't even make note of.

If you are still aching terribly Ian few more weeks and noticing swollen inflamed joints then perhaps you could ask your GP for his/her opinion.

[Tessar]

Here are some more of your friends just checking in to see how u r Sparkle...:emot-wave::wub::emot-wave::wub::emot-wave::wub::emot-wave::wub::emot-wave::wub::emot-wave::wub::emot-wave::wub:

[sparkle_1979]

Thanks ladies I do appreciate it. Still convinced I have something serious with this lump and all the pains. Don't think anxiety has ever been so bad but ill get past it, hope u are all ok and keeping healthy xx

---------- Post added at 09:35 ---------- Previous post was at 08:29 ----------

Even my nails hurt

[Lilharry]

Sparkle, I'm totally there with you in terms of not coping very well and worried about having something serious. You are not alone! It's horrible feeling like this, especially waiting for test. I'm waiting for an amalayse test and I'm 100% convinced my pancreas is shot. There is bascially no hope for me, well that's what my stupid mind keeps telling me! Have to remember the negative thoughts are just thoughts and not reality. So hard though!

[sparkle_1979]

It's awful I feel for you too I'm sure you're fine honey it's just we always fear the worst dont we xx

[Lilharry]

We will get there in the end though and shouldn't give up hope. I think we go through these things and learn from them and then go on to help and reassure other people later. We're not the first go through it and won't be the last!

[sparkle_1979]

Yes very true. Just feel I'm wasting my life worrying constantly when I've got two gorgeous babies I should be enjoying, not thinking poor things are going to lose their mum x