Newbie who needs help please

[Nat5711]

Hi everyone I've joined this site tonight after my friend gave me the link,
I think it's exactly what I've been looking for!!

Im 23 and For the past 5-6 years I've started to worry about EVERYTHING!
It started after having my daughter, for some reason I gained a phobia of death,
I constantly thought I had some kind of disease, if I saw someone on tv or in the newspaper that was explaining some kind of health issue I immediately thought I had it too. Sadly it's 6 years later and It's not got any better. As I write this I'm having leg pains and am convinced I have a blood clot in my leg!!
My worst habit is googling my symptoms! Which I have learned is a bad idea!!

I would like to know is there any other mums who feel like this since having children? Am I alone? Any tips on death phobia?

I just don't feel normal any more, its depressing me i dont want to live in fear of everything i want to enjoy my life!! I would love to chat to some others who are going through the same thing as I am.

Thankyou for listening, Natalie.

[Bekzie]

Hi Natalie :welcome: to nmp
I am sure you will find lots of help and support here.
I have always been an anxious person especially after having my children, but I can't say it was brought on by having them. I have read quite a few good threads on here about death anxiety so you should find them helpful, I also have death anxiety as part of my anxiousness and have not overcome it yet but I will :) as will you :D

[Nat5711]

Thanks for your reply!
I have actually found a few threads that have been helpful,
It's nice to know I'm not alone in how I'm feeling, I can talk to my partner who is great and understands as best he can but it's just not the same as talking to someone who is going through the same thing.

[sunshine1]

I feel very responsible for my children and I think that this is one of the causes of my anxiety. x

[Nat5711]

That's part of why I am so obsessed with my health too, when I'm having a bad health anxiety day, I get convinced I'm going to just drop dead while I'm with the kids at home and nobody will know and they will be alone all day crying etc... It's so scary.

[buckeroo]

did your mum pile you with medication when you was younger,i askk this as its very common to think you have everything wrong with you.anxiety comes in all forms,yours can be controlled in medication from the docs,i think everyone has a phobia of death at some point,ive been scared to die all my life,but dont let it get to me,and when i think about it,i try and steer away from it as it freaks me out.1 big tip, you only live once,make the most of it and stop worrying about things that you probably know isnt there,blood clot in legs lol, it will most liely be a phantom pain because you think its something worse.xx

[Nat5711]

Not that I can remember....
I've been to the docs and we decided the medication route wouldn't help me as all I would do is read the side effects and decide its too risky to take them lol that's how bad I am at the min. I have been referred to a therapist/councillor and have my first appointment in April so I'm hoping they will be able to shed some light on my problems and help me get better!
When I think these crazy things I do try and give myself motivational talks in my head like "stop worrying, I'm being silly, I'm only 23, It's just a leg pain!!" Lol it does sometimes help but not on my bad days.

[buckeroo]

counselling should help you no end,there usually good at getting to the route of problems, make sure you go to all the sessions even if you think there not working, take care hun x

[Matilda1]

Hi Nat
I'm new to the site also. I started having anxiety attacks after the birth of my second daughter, I also suffered terribly from post natal depression. I won't go into all the details but eventually I went on medication and it has been a life saver, although my dr had to admit me to hospital for a few days to do it as I was so scared the drugs would kill me :blush:
I tried therapy etc but sometimes I think it can be hereditary as so many of my family have had to deal with anxiety in some form.
I still have a phobia about taking medication though and now if it's unavoidable I just go and take it outside a drs surgery or hospital and have a coffee there and wait to see if I'm going to have any serious reaction. It's ridiculous I know but at least it solves the problem. Having said that I'm having a colonoscopy next week and I'm terrified of taking the bowel prep in case I have a reaction and it's probably not a good idea to take something like that at the hospital cafe in case it works quickly :weep:
Living in fear is awful and the small dose of an SSRI antidepressant has stopped panic attacks which is such a relief. I do still get anxiety about certain things though such as medication and I'm terrified driving with other people or in taxis, I'm ok if I'm driving though. Really strange.

All the best to you:hugs:

[durhamlawyer]

Hello Nat!

I haven't had any children, but I have had health anxiety. I'm not an expert, but the way it works for me is that because I haven't fully accepted that my anxiety is down to a harmless flight or fight response and all that adrenaline pumping around my body, I get every symptom of every illness I read about. I have found that the best way to deal with it is to remember that it is only harmless (albeit scary) adrenaline that is making you feel the way you do. It's your body making the mistake you are in danger.

I've had the tingling in the leg sensation, just remember it's caused by your body thinking it's in danger and redirecting your blood to your vital organs. Nothing more and nothing less. I know how terrifying it is, but it will pass.

Never Google your symptoms. I did and I think I ended up convincing myself I had lung cancer, brain cancer, oral cancer, lupus … None of which I had. I know how hard it is though, I had a setback the other day googling depersonalisation disorder which has had me out of sorts for 48 hours!

I also have a death phobia. I think it would be strange to to want to die! I see it as a good thing as it could be that I want to die! The best thing that works for me is to focus on something else. When you are having repetitive thoughts of death, try and take the part of an outsider from the situation and look at the logic of your thoughts. Let the thought come into your head and then let it pass from you. Challenge it – you have had that thought before and you didn't die. You won't die when you next have it.

Welcome to the forum and the councillor will help you out. I'm feel loads better (no meds - although I understand some people may need them) just by arming myself with knowledge and taking it one day at a time. You can too.

Look after yourself!

[Lilharry]

Hi Nat. Sorry, I'm not a mum yet, but I started getting what you describe in mid-late 20s, so I can utterly sympathise. I'm not on meds either, because like you, I worry about all the side effects. Mostly for me it's a fear that they will make me more anxious - which really is my biggest fear - i'm scared of being scared. I have found counselling to be really really helpful. Someone was talking about the fear of dying on a thread the other day and I told them that when I start to go down that track I remind myself that I wasn't scared of the time before I was born, so why should I be afraid of dying? That seems to help me. Durhamlawyer above is right when they say that challenging your thoughts is really important. Another thing I find that helps is to try and separate the anxiety from the symptoms I'm having. So, say I was having leg pain and started to worry about dvt, I would tell myself that it's the worry that is causing me the most distress and that's what I need to work, so go and do something relaxing that will take my mind off it. My counsellor told me to say "Stop" to negative thoughts and ask them to politely leave me alone because they serve no function other than to make me feel awful. I also found this online course to be extremely helpful - a counsellor recommended it to me http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=53

I only just joined this forum a week ago, but I've sure made good use of it! So refreshing to hear from other people who have experienced the exact same thing as you.

[Nat5711]

Hi I will reply separately thank you both for replying to me :)
Matilda1, I do think it's having kids that has triggered all this for me I was never like this before. I had a colonoscopy last October too and it's not as bad as you think it will be, I was really terrified, my heart rate was through the roof! Lol
The prep med was AWFUL!!!!! I had fears of it giving me a heart attack but all was fine lol it just tasted rank!!!
I also have the medication fear, I was diagnosed with proctitis after my colonoscopy and didn't take my meds for two month as I was so scared they would kill me or I would overdose which is so silly as they are there to help me!!
Durham lawyer thanks for your response a lot of what u have said sounds exactly like me!!! The self diagnosing with cancer and tumors I do this on a daily basis, I'm convinced I have some kind of cancer, or I'm going to have. Heart attack etc...
And as for the death fear I have slowly started to accept it, I will die, and I will be fine....
I say this now as I'm having a good day... But on a bad day I can have a panick attack once I realise this WILL happen to me one day.

---------- Post added at 19:06 ---------- Previous post was at 19:01 ----------

Lilharry thanks for your response that's been really helpful :)
I'm excited to see how the councillor will work and if he/she can help me.
Had a good few days after joining this site a lot of what I've been reading has made me feel like it really is just health anxiety and im not dying of all these things i self diagnose myself aith! and I'm not alone this site is proof of that!