Animalhugger
27-03-13, 19:25
Hi all, this is my first post on the forum since introducing myself a couple of months ago. I'm in a bad way at the moment and could really do with some help/advice. Some history.....had a couple of panic attacks when i was in my late teens which just came and passed. 7 years ago i had a bad panic attack in a cinema following which i fell into depression for the first time in my life and had repeat panic attacks so was diagnosed with depression/panic disorder. 40mg of citalpram and 3 horrible months later and i was on the mend. I very slowly came down to 5 mg over the course of 2 years and had a 'blip' exactly the same panic attacks and depression back. went back on to 30 mg and within a couple of months i was better again. Stayed on the meds for about 4 years with no probs, had the odd panic attack as i dropped my dose but was managing to control it. I spent a year on 2.5mg ( just a shrapnel of the tablet ) with no probs so decided to come off the meds just after christmas. During that time i had a mild child related anxious thought that was crossing my mind from time to time but it seemed no big deal. 5 days after coming off the meds i felt the depression start, like a dark cloud coming over me then the child related thoughts magnified, becoming bigger and bigger, very irrational and was obsessivly swirling round in my head ( if that makes sense) thought i was going nuts, every time i saw a child or even heard the word family or anything related in my mind to kids it would fill me with a sense of panic and dread in my stomach. Dr put me back on Citalopram 30mg but after 2 months it wasn't working. Now I have been prescribed Venlafaxine 75mg and i am on day 10. Feeling pretty bad right now, the anxiety has increased, felling like theres no hope, and my mind is finding other things to make me anxious. I had this thought come in my head that i no longer love my husband ( which is untrue and devastating ) and now i am getting fearful and panicky around him too. It feels like my world is falling apart. No one has diagnosed what this condition is, is it GAD? Feel very lost, frightened and alone. Although I am quite a nervous person i have never had irrational anxiety before. Feel detatched all of the time and am having trouble relating to any of the happy life i had just 3 months ago. My doctor has been very unhelpfull.