i just want to be me again!!!

[surreylady]

sorry but this is going to be a moan lol.

its saturday and im at home with my little girl who is watching tv while im typing away.
every saturday we used to wander to the shops and get a few essentials and buy her a sweet. she used to love this but now im too scared of the panic attacks to do it. she is very sensitive and if i had an attack with her there i know it would scare her, also i dont want her seeing me like that.
it really is getting me down that i cant just put my coat on and go and be relaxed about it, i dont want this anymore, and i want my kids to have their mum back!!!!
i want to be me again.

just had to get that off my chest

mandy xxx

positive attitude brings positive results

[Lynnann]

We all feel like we want to be normal!!

You are not alone!!

My son pointed out this morning that I no longer take my dog for a walk since I got trapped in a bog a few weeks ago. He is right, the thought terrifies me! Just hate getting it pointed out to me!!

This condition is not fair on anyone and I hope you feel better for getting that of your chest!

Hugs to you

Lynnann

[manmoor]

Hey Mandy,

Don't put yourself down hun. Didn't you do well the other day going to the post office. Wee steps Mandy just take wee steps. I'm here if you want to gabx

Take Care

Mandyxx

[ruthb1]

hi mandy,

i know exactly how you feel, although i dont suffer from the panic attacks as bad and i manage to go out i still get really tense and wound up when i am out and i can feel my blood boil and the slightest thing irritates me, maybe its when i have the kids with me i dont know but i am on edge constantly when i am with them shopping i cant enjoy it but i wont let it stop me from doing things, you will in time hun learn to go out with your daughter on a saturday and start doing things little by little. take it slowly maybe walk to the top of the road with with her and then the next day go a bit further to get your confidence, dont try and run before you can walk, i always make that mistake and you always end up back to square one.

you are not a moan we all feel like this, its so draining and a constant dread but we can do it

take care

ruth

[susie]

hi manday dont let it get you down we all have times when we wish we could do things try and think positive like when you went to the po st office we all have to walk before we can run ,take care mandy chin up luv suexxx

[mad_shell66]

hi mandy,
dotn beat yourself up over it. it takes time to get over this. you need to think of yourself at the moment. just take things one step at a time
good luck xxx
shell:D

[surreylady]

thanks guys, it helps so much to have your support, im just so impatient to get better. i know i will be ok in time. thanks for replying, really cheered me up :D

Mandy xxxx

positive attitude brings positive results

[W.I.F.T.S.]

Hi Surreylady,

I noticed that you were on here in the early hours of saturday morning and if I was trying to work out how to contact you... I suppose an IM would have popped up.

I guess that depression and anxiety crop up because we are dissatisfied with our lives and they can be (a very well disguised) blessing in disguise because otherwise we'd just carry on not being particularly happy.

I know that depression is caused by faulty thinking, but I think that this is how the areas in my life that I am dissatisfied with/ cause me most distress break down:

40% work/ career
25% family/ fiancee
20% money
15% social life

I'm trying to change jobs where I work most evenings and weekends in a warehouse to having one where I work more in the day time and where I have the opportunity to learn new skills and to develop a career. I'm trying to budget money much better at the moment and it isn't working too badly- we're stretching it out towards the end of the month more now as opposed to blowing it in the first two weeks and having nothing left. And I'm doing some voluntary work to get me to be more sociable. I suppose I could also work on the way in which I interact with people.

I'm not quite sure what I can do about my family. I suppose we'll appreciate each other more when I move out and I'll gain respect as i start to get my life in order. I do feel quite bossed about and criticised by them, but I've got to learn not to take it personally- my brother recieved the same treatment when he lived here and my gran bosses everybody about!!

Sorry, I've come on here and started talking about me. My point was that I think you need to develop your confidence and the only way to do that is by doing things. As far as I can tell with me, I'm a depressed person, so I always expect the worst and for bad things to happen, which causes my fight or flight response to kick in and that's why I have panic attacks. I've been depressed before without panic attacks, so I think that anxiety is an added symptom.

Do whatever you can to relax. try a yoga video or class (that's what I'm doing at the minute- we're supposed to clear our minds at the start of the class and I'm there twicthing and shaking away!!), have a bath with some candles and aromatherapy oils, go for a swim, read a self-help book, try meditation...... I really believe in the saying "an anxious mind cannot exist in a relaxed body". Sure you're going to have blips- it'll probably take me a long, long time to totally unwind- but persevere. I'm sure that we can both control our panic attacks and our anxiety.

Once they're out of the way then we'll both be able to do much more, which will give our confidence a huge boost and I think then that our depression will lift.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm impatient to get better too. I keep waking up and asking myself "how anxious/ depressed do i feel today?". You'll know when you're better when you stop asking yourself that and you stop grasping for it. You'll get so distracted by things that interest and axcite you that you'll 'forget' about being depressed. So, you've got to keep doing things to develop that excitement.

That's what I believe anyway. hope it works for the pair of us.




Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[mazzatazza]

hi mandy you are not alone i feel like that at the moment and i have 2 children i am on sertraline for panic attacks and just this week i have had to take a couple of diazepam to calm me down if you would love to chat just email me take mazza xx

mrs m bevis