Out in the cold - again!

[Oatcake]

Those of you who know my history know I'm off work just now (I'm a teacher) after a GAD flare up. This is predominantly due to the Headteacher's lack of support, and her apparent thought that not only would it be fun to add extra pressure to me to find my breaking point, it would be fun to throw criticism and snide comments about me being "A sensitive little petal" around in public. Sure enough, I disappeared on sickness leave. My occy health report stated that she'd not offered my support, and I know it's not the first time that's happened.

Yesterday, an announcement was made to my colleagues. They'd been warned this announcement was coming, and those few who have dared break the unspoken "Don't contact the crazy lady" rule text messaged me, wondering what it might be. And that was it, no more from any of them. My GAD kicked in, and I flipped out worrying.

Eventually, one of them broke ranks and said that they'd been told specifically not to tell me what was going on. This was to "Respect the Head's wishes". She told them that she would tell me, and another teacher who is also off with depression (See the pattern here?) by telephone. He rang me last night, and said she'd rung him, and he'd also been told not to tell me. I barely slept last night, and merrily slipped into the self harming cycle of my GAD.

It does sound to me like something in the Head's personal life is about to impact on the school. Perhaps she is leaving? Perhaps she has a terrible illness? Has she been offered a new job? Maybe something has happened in her family? Or maybe my occy health report has been the final straw and she's been removed? Why isn't she telling me? No matter what, I feel sick. I was feeling so much better, and now I'm right back at square one.

[Annie0904]

I worked in a school until a few weeks ago and I left in the end because I knew I wasn't going to get well while I was worrying about getting back to work and the pressure on me to get back was immense which was making me feel worse. I would suggest that you try not to speculate what is going on at work at the moment, you are off sick and work should not be contacting you. They kept contacting me and I complained to HR and then no one contacted me. Even my closest colleagues had been told not to contact me to see how I was! Forget what is going on at work and concentrate on you and getting well. Your illness is covered under the 2010 equalities act and work have a duty of care to you. :hugs:

[Tufty]

God your school sounds worse that Waterloo Road (which I no longer watch due to it's bizarre storylines but hey maybe they're spot on)

Firstly the head sounds like a power crazy bitch - but then I guess you need to be determined to get that position to start with. She is acting unprofessionally telling other staff members what is going on but asking them not to tell you but the other teachers telling you half the story isn't very helpful either, they'd of been better saying nothing but that doesn't help you now does it.

So remember - it is a job, yes a good, important job, but it is not the whole sum of you. You are more important than the job, your health is vital. Try to take a step back from what is happening at school, try to focus on anything other than the school to help put it into perspective. And self harming is not the answer, it solves nothing and doesn't look pretty, try breaking something (no, not yourself) or art therapy! :wacko: - you could live up to your crazy lady name.

In 6 months time we will look back on this rough patch and wonder why we felt so awful - it's a moment in time that is all, you are not back to square one, you are constantly learning and experiencing - put your teacher head on Miss. Remember this too will pass, life is sweet :shades: it just takes some searching to find the sweet part sometimes

Take care
Sam

[JaneC]

Have you spoken to your union rep Oatcake?

[Haunted]

Oatcake - I really feel for you. It's tough.

Much of my anxiety is work-related (in the sense that my anxiety is much higher in the work place than at home etc) and I know what a struggle it can be trying to work as normal whilst going through a tough time with anxiety. I actually haven't told my manager about my struggles, and I actually feel burdened and wish I could tell her, but I worry about judgements from her or other staff.

You have done nothing wrong. You cannot help how you feel. You shouldn't be spoken about behind your back, and you certainly shouldn't be contacted at home whilst you are off sick. I agree with the comments here - perhaps speak to HR, or a union rep. You are entitled to time off to get better.

Stay strong, believe in yourself, know that this is a bad reflection on THEM and not you at all.

[kittikat]

Oatcake, I am in a very similar situation to you. I completley empathise and feel for you, I know what you are going through.

I went to the CAB and was immediatly referred to a lawyer. He said I had a good case for discrimination against my employer. It will either make me or break me but it is a challenge I am prepared to take if only to prevent this from happening to others in the future. It is a game to them, they will try everything in their power to bring you down and that is not acceptable.

I wish you all the best...there are positive steps you can take and I hope you get some proper advice to help you move forward.

Kitti :hugs: x