the end of my world has come

[gregcool]

Guys.im very scared and in the worse poss place ov EVER been..If thete is a hell,Im in it..Iv lost EVERYTHING..my kids my wife my future my friends.iv had to move away and am staying tem with a familly member.I have had and keep getting sueside thoughts.My world could not be more bleek..i have no wish no will no drive no interest whatsoever to go on any more.i have nothing to look forward to..these conditions can and will not ever change.And as some of you know i have suffered in depressikn anxiety and panic and agaraphobia for years which has now gone to levels i never new existed..i feel something really bad is coming for me..I am seeing a chrises team and docs,but i just dont think anything is going to help me now..i just wanted to say thankyou for ylur support over my time in this forum.xx

[Annie0904]

Greg, please phone someone for help now and tell them just how desperate you are. Maybe you need to go into hospital so they can help you? I am so sorry you are in this place now and send you lots of hugs but please, please do not give up.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[manwithnoname]

Greg, please please phone the Samaritans on 08457 909090 you really need to speak to someone who is experienced in hearing from people in desperate situations, Stephen

[Dazza123]

Greg If you have a crisis team, and doctor supporting you, you need to ring them now and tell them you need them to help you right now. They can sort out some emergency care to get you out of this moment of hell you are in, then they can take steps to start getting you sorted out. You need help today, so you need to ring them now, there will be very strong medications that will stop these feelings and that will give your mind a chance to rest and get some control back. Seriously do it now, then when you feel more stable come back and let us know you are ok. We dont want you to do something silly, and I doubt your family or friends do either, so get some immediate help, then come back and let us know you are ok.

[Bekzie]

Greg Manwithnoname is right call the samaritans on the number he posted, it will help you to talk to them they are specially trained and know what you are going through. Or see your doctor, explain things to them. Things will get better, once you have hit rock bottom the only way is up

[bernie1977]

I agree with Annie I think in patient treatment would be best. My heart goes out to you as I've reached rock bottom before and at the time you cannot see a way out. You need the appropriate help and treatment urgently, please speak to the crisis team and tell them how bad you're feeling.

Please let us know how you get on :hugs:

[kittikat]

Greg, hang in there and get the urgent help you so desparately need, please.

Call the crisis team, the samaritans, your GP, or take yourself straight to A&E - it really doesn't have to be like this and we are all here for you too.

Please, please get some help now. Kitti :hugs:

[spottitchsam]

Greg PLEASE PLEASE get some help/advice now.you will be suprised when they find the right medication how quite you will start to be on the up.take care sending some hugs.x

[Annie0904]

Please get in touch when you can Greg and let us know how you are doing, we are all very concerned about you and want you to know that we are always here for you. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[theharvestmouse]

It's not the end Greg, you can come back from this. Things change, sometimes you just need a helping hand.

[Thumbelina]

Higreg,
Hope you are hanging in there. So many people feel like you are now and see no way out. You are not alone you have so many people who care about you.
Let us know how are you.
(((0)))))

[clio51]

Greg, come on mate don't do this.
Phoned the crisis team tell them you want to be hospitalized!! You can't cope on your own any more and you want it now!!!

If you think there waffling please admit yourself(this is possible, at least in hospital you should hopefully get the care you need now. Also you can do as you like there talk to people,sleep, anything and they are specialized people you know exactly what you need.

I know you have been going through a bad time,but remember your train trip you managed that now that's much more than I could do.

I know sleep is a big issue with you too,and how can you be fine on sleep deprivation impossible mate.

It's been going on to long now, all the meds you've been on and it obviously got worse from what's happening.

So please read what I've said,it could put you on the right road you need. REST, A FEW WEEKS IN HOSPITAL WITH HELP.

Please let's us know how you are Greg, there are very sick people on here,people that just coping,and people that have got well. And we all understand what your going through honestly mate. Xx

[footballking]

We all have an extra inch of strength, even when we think we don't. So push through, and follow the people's advice that have commented thus far. There is always an extra inch of strength.

[mrsnobody]

please get help, :hugs:

[Lissa101]

Greg, please listen to what everyone is telling you. My boyfriend struggled for 15 years with bipolar and has made several suicide attempts! He has now found the right treatment for him and is happy, content and enjoying life for the first time since he's been an adult. There is always, always, always hope no matter how bad you feel. Lots of :hugs:'s

[almamatters]

Greg, a lot of us on this forum, have felt this low before. Please please reach out for support, there is help available. :hugs:

[manwithnoname]

greg really hope you have spoken to someone today and got some help with your crisis, stephen

[Cat lady]

Hey Greg

as with everybody else here, please speak to the crisis team, we are all here for you, thinking of you and wishing you better, xxx

[gregcool]

Guys.thanks for all your support and advice..i am trying to see straight and am seeing a chrises team now..they have spent 5 hrs with me in two days.i am still finding it very hard to see any further ahead of this moment in my life..i feel soooooll low and my DR AND DP is constant which is making my life so difficult.my anxiety and depression couldnt feel any worse.the fact that iv lost everything i cared about and loved has devestated me..im living temp with my sister and this is not helping my sleep problems.im waking at 3-4 am each morning and not falling back.so im exhausted and mentaly drained.even taking trazadone and tamazapan at night im still waking..and are now getting hooked on taking these sleeping pills every night.im still trying to except my loss of routen and familly life and my home and home town i had.i now get up in an unfamilier house and town with no money and nothing to do with my day ,right up till bed time..so bordom is killing me.i dont feel like doing anything.im justbwatching the world go by me.i had plans through the summer with my family which are now gone.i need to find my own acomidatin andnow sighn on for benifets..i will in time have to move into a rented room or if im lucky i will be offered a bedsit.for which ill be on my own and have no cash to move into it with to furnesh it..iv been with my wife and kids 15 years and have got used to company and routens and structure..at the age of 47 i feel abandand and rejected by life itsellf.the chrises team doc prescribed me a short course of diazipan.10mg night and 10mg day.i had that last night and this morning after not sleeping well again.i most certainly do not feel any calming effect.i feel more anxius..what is ever gling to work for me

[Thumbelina]

Hi Greg, good to hear from you.was worried about you after your last.post.
Things will work out for you, you are doing everything right. You should be opened to help. Yiu have not lost everything. Your family is safe and well, you are just away from them now.
You have things to hang on to - you have sister you have so many people who care about you on here that have never even met you.
You just have to try and look at the situation from different angle, try and change your perception of.stability and when you will stabilise yourself you will see whats your new big plan will be.
Take care

[Granny Primark]

So very sorry you find yourself in this position.
Just concentrate on whats happening now and not in the future.
There is light at the end of the the end of the tunnel youve got believe that.
And your definitely not alone.
You will always get support from nmp there are members who im sure have been in a similar situation to yourself and they understand and care.
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Annie0904]

So pleased to hear from you Greg. Like Lynn said don't worry about the future just focus on the here and now and get all the help you can. x

[kittikat]

I'd just like to echo what others have said Greg, hang in there. Yes your life has changed at a very bad time at you can't see a way forward at the moment. But there is hope, all is not lost...you can get through this with the right support. We are all here for you too. Keep us posted, it's tough when you think you have reached rock bottom, but as long as you have an ounce of fight in you you can and you will move forward. Take care and sending you a big hug to help you on your way. We are all thinking of you here.

Kitti :bighug1: xx :bighug1:

[manwithnoname]

great to hear from you again Greg, i completely understand the dark place you were in yesterday and that you seem to be coming out of it a little now, that is good

[hanshan]

Hi Greg,

Hang in there mate, from Australia.

You haven't lost your kids. They'll always want your love, which is priceless, not how much money you have.

[Cat lady]

Glad to hear from you Greg, It will get better xxx

[MelinaJane]

Hi Greg, I know i haven't spoken to you on this forum before but i want you to know that i'm sending you so much love - your post brought me to tears and it breaks my heart to see what pain you are going through. Hold on :hugs:

[spottitchsam]

hi greg,glad that you have posted this morning,and feeling a little better.take small steps and sooner than later you will be up and running.take all the help that is being offered to you.take care and keep us posted.have a good day.x
thinking of you

[bluesparkle]

Hi Greg
I have pm'd you
We are all here for you
Rach

[mrsnobody]

iam glad you have posted. take each day at a time. small steps make all the differance. there are people here for you. yaou havent lost your kids.they know who there dad is and they always will. take care and keep postingg it helps

[gregcool]

Thankyou for your kind and supporting words..I know everything everyome is saying makes perfect sence.But im just not feeling it at this time.Its been a week now and am finding it all so hard ,being at my sisters and just busing around daily going no where.just trying to burn off hrs in my day.
I have no cash no friends and very few familly members.no home etc..im seeing a chrises team daily and dont feel anything is even touching the pain im in.esp as my anxiety is through the roof.my sleep has gone !!! Not sleeping at my sisters at all so sleep deprevation is back in a very big way...im strugling with what to fill my days with now..i could have months of this and with my mental illness.just feel hopeless a faileir in life and to my wife and familly..i feel like im burnt out with just nothing left to fight for..no matter how i try to look on at life..im so jelious of everyone around me holding hands kissing and being as a familly making holiday plans with no agaraphobia isues etc..i feel like a tramp on the street watching the rich eat and live around me

[PanchoGoz]

I know how you feel, when you're forced to watch life go by and you can't share in the delights other people feel. It all looks sickly sweet. It's like watching a cookery program when you have a stomach bug it makes you want to throw up more.
It is really important to keep occupied, the most important thing you have to think of right now. Find something right away that can fill your time out and don't give up till you find it. Jigsaw puzzle, something to clean, music to listen to, computer game. Anything, and make a schedule to your day so you know you won't have any empty gaps of nothingness. I went by a daily schedule for a whole summer once, it really kept me going.
So sorry you are feeling like this, take heart that you will come out of it, keep plodding on and you will get there.

[hanshan]

Hi Chris,

When you feel better (and you will feel better), the good things and the opportunities will start to line up. At the moment, the way you are, it all seems out of reach and impossible, but just keep going, busing around if necessary, and one day something will fall into place. A small miracle, but it will happen. Wait for it. Tell us about it when it does.

[manwithnoname]

I completely understand where you are Chris, I am in a similar position myself, i have no family to rely as my brother and dad have virtually disowned me, i have been off work with anxiety and depression for 3 years now, so my career in electronicsand I really struggle to fill the hous in my day, so i completely understand how you are feeling and what you are going through, i had a really bad episode of agitation last friday and i had to phone my psychiatrist then doctor, i got diazepam on an emergency appointment

[theharvestmouse]

So true Pancho, something I go through most days, sometimes its not our lives that make us feel so down its seeing how things are for other people. It feels like salt in an open wound sometimes, easier to block it out and focus on doing things.

[Thumbelina]

Hi Chris,

When you feel better (and you will feel better), the good things and the opportunities will start to line up. At the moment, the way you are, it all seems out of reach and impossible, but just keep going, busing around if necessary, and one day something will fall into place. A small miracle, but it will happen. Wait for it. Tell us about it when it does.

Greg, I also agree that if you now concentrate only on the very short perspective the big plan will fall in place by itself and the little miracle wil happen and will help you.
When I was in a very deep prolonged relapse 6 yo, I knew I had to change the thinking pattern and I stared volunteer works, and did it for a year almost. It was a massive self esteem buster.
But before anything you need to sort your benefits out that's an important activity that you should plan for.