Going out of my mind

[Munchlet]

I really need someone to try and talk some sense into me.

For at least probably 10 years if not longer I've had a small mark at the top of my bottom which looks like a bruise, it's blue and quite small.

Anyway I've never ever given it a second thought but tonight after getting out the bath I glance it in the mirror and for some reason only known to HA I start prodding and looking at it.

Now it's never changed in shape or size it's not lumpy or anything but in my infinate wisdom I googled it and I've now convinced I have Advanced Malignant Melanoma.

My husband needless to say is just shaking his head in disbelief as he can't believe that something that has never bothered me before now has me convinced it's advanced cancer.

I am in a complete state, I read that there is a type of melanoma that looks like a bruise to start with and that it appears in places that are hard to see such as nails and the eyes, nasal cavities and people only know they have it when it becomes advanced.

I can't find anything benign that it could be so I'm worried sick that's what it is and I've left it all these years and it's really advanced.

My mum has looked at it and thinks it's just pigmentation she also thinks if it was melanoma in 10 years it would have grown and got a lot bigger but I'm thinking if it's growing internally then you wouldn't necessarily see any change on the outside.

Whilst I'm typing this I can see why my mum and husband think I'm crazy but I really think I've just left something that is really serious.

I'd be grateful for any input on this, I am going to go to the GP as I'm worried sick.

thanks

[buckeroo]

well your biggest miskate is looking for a symptom on the internet, ask yourself really,what is the possibilty its advanced cancer.99.999% its probably not,dont let it get to you and yes get it checked out,does it hurt at all,if not,dont worry yourself too much

[emeraldgirl]

i'm sure that if you have had it 10 years and it hasn't changed then it isn't anything to worry about. cancer of any kind grows, and 10 years is a long time. Do get it checked out though if you are still worried. take care

[Em.ma]

If your very worried go get it checked for piece of mind.
Don't pock and prode it though this will make it hurt, :)

[Munchlet]

Thanks for the replies, I've tried to look at it a bit closer this morning and I do have some quite prominent veins in the same area so I'm hoping it might just be something to do with that. Still worried sick though what I don't get is why it's never concerned me this until now and now I think I've ignored something serious!

[Tessar]

Oh munchlet what are you like????? I agree with the others here and your husband & mother. Of course for all of us it's easy to say to you it's nothing to worry about... And even you know in the logical, factual part of your mind that it is nothing to worry about. Of course then there is the bit of your mind that doesn't want to accept the facts.
You know, if someone could discover where that part of our brains is, imagine the money they could make in de-activating it? They'd be millionaires since so many people have HA.
This little bit of my brain manifests itself in other ways as HA isn't something I am bothered by very often. For me it's learning to accept and feel wholeheartedly anything kind or positive that people say about me. I just find it hard to take on board. I am sure in the same way, although you KNOW the facts about this spot are true and that everyone is right, for some reason you just have that unfounded doubt nagging away.
It's right that googling is NOT a good idea but then you know that I am sure . Maybe if you have a next time, you need to bear this in Mind and stick simply to facts. Like the fact that this thing hasn't altered in any way. Also yes...don't prod it. But then you know all this helpful advice already. It's just putting it into practice isn't it? So, how can we get you to do that I wonder. Between now & your doc's appointment, keep yourself busy. Keep your mind off it. It's been there years and not bothered you. Remind yourself of that. Bye for now and please don't worry or wind yourself up as its just not worth using your energy on something which won't be productive.

[Munchlet]

Thanks Tessar

I know how irrational it sounds and believe me if it was someone else I'd be saying to them "oh it's nothing don't worry", what frustrates me is why can't I do that for myself!

I hate HA I know I sound like a complete crazy woman and can understand why my mum and husband think I'm bonkers but I just can't control it :weep:

[jaynehal]

health anxiety is horrible and anyone who hasn't got it cant understand the state we can get into, I'm sure its nothing and like you say its been there 10 years so it sounds like its just part of you and nothing serious, and stop googling I do it all the time and it never helps me, always gives you the worst outcome then end up in a state of panic like today xx

[Coppernob]

You're one among many on here Munchlet! My husband simply can't believe why I worry over stupid little body things - he's had a mild heart attack and a mini stroke and he doesn't lose a second's sleep over anything! Why can't we be like that ...

[Munchlet]

Thanks for the replies, i've made my husband look again and I said if I flatten the skin out can he see any veins underneath it which he said he can, I can see that I have some other veiny areas near it so Im hoping it's just a patch of spider veins or something as it said veins can look like bruises but they don't fade which would explain why I've had this for so long.

That's what I'm hoping anyway!