Anxious lu
30-03-13, 23:35
I suffered quite severely with health anxiety which all started in July 2012, this got pregressively worse in the months to follow and I ended up making myself very very ill.
It all started after an unexpected incident left me believing something really bad had happened to me. I was covered in pins and needles and was unable to talk, so much like a stroke.
At 20 years old I knew this was rare but the event was terrifying and unanswered questions lead to a severity in anxiety. I managed to envoke horrible anxious symptoms which we all know only worsen the thoughts in our heads and back up the notion that something horrible is going on with our health. People kept telling me I was okay. I would not believe this. The twitching, IBS, aches and pains, trembles, nausea, shortness of breath, palpitations and the rest were too real to ignore.
I had many tests ECGs, blood tests, MRI, urine samples, blood pressure and blood sugar. Each time nothing was found.
In the space of a few months I diagnosed myself with:
Stroke
TIA
Heart attack
Cancer
HIV
Lyme disease
MS
ALS/MND
Brain tumor (and many many more)
The worst of these was when I believed I had HIV.. this lasted only a matter of week but led to me moving out of my home with my boyfriend with my sister, as she was the only one who would support me truly the way I needed. I felt I couldn't be around my niece in case I made her ill and acted like I was a person actually dying. Selfish I know. I though I had a terrible disease I had given my boyfriend and that my life was ruined. I was a broken person, told my parents things they should never know. Couldn't sleep with the adrenaline surges keeping me awake. They got so bad at a point I felt I was going to pass out and that my heart was failing. After numerous trips to hospital, numerous trips to A&E and thousands of searches on google and discussions with my sister I feel I have made a huge step forward.
In the last three months I have been focusing on health and exercise. I use an app called myfitnesspal and I coudn't recommend it more!! It gave me a new obsession in a way, something else to focus my energies on rather than waiting for the next twitch. I began to regain self confidence and motivation which I had lost. I believe that distraction really is the best medicine in my case. Of course seeking help is the best option but for me focusing of improving my health and weight loss has been an absolute breath of fresh air.
After a while of exercising and eating well, logging my meals weights and exercise I realised that I no longer got muscle twitches, headaches, palpitations or even breathless. I began to feel myself again!
I look back at the mess my life used to be and feel ashamed that I ever let it get that way. I have accepted what happened to me was a type of migraine. Having been told this following an MRI I was reluctant to accept it but now I have a clear mind and rare symptoms of anxiety I can accept this. Anxiety is truly an awful thing, it seems crazy that we fear death and ill health so much but we progress to put such strains on our mental and physical health. I have had a few migraines following all with scary symptoms however I can control my fear now. I still experience some symptoms on anxiety but I am able to tell myself this palpitation could be due to this or this twitch is because my leg is tired or my anxiety may be subconciously high due to this...
I strongly would recommend trying this, not only have I remained almost free from anxiety for three months but I have improved my health, gained motivation and lost 19lbs so far :). I am the happiest I have been in a long time. I am not afraid to party with my friends I do not fear social situations and I don't feel the need to focus on different parts of my body waiting for a symptom.
My friend has recently met a girl, she suffers from fits and I worry for her so much. She knows she cant control them but the fear is taking over her. It pains me to see her in a situation and body language and things she does reminds me so much of how I used to be. Its a lot more obvious then what I thought it was.
I know this is an essay and a half but I felt I had to share this in hopes that it can help someone else. The motivation to improve your lifestyle is key. Its a perfect distraction that improves both physical and mental health.
I hope everyone is okay, I am still fighting against anxiety but feel I have made a huge step and am in hope that we can all fight against this together. NoMorePanic has been and will continue to be amazing support at times when I most needed it and I have met some lovely and comforting people through it. I do not visit the site as much as I used to as I found I was on it all day every day seeking reassurance I no longer need.
Hope everyone is well and good luck with beating anxiety. It isn't recognised as an illness as much as it should be! x x x
---------- Post added at 23:35 ---------- Previous post was at 23:32 ----------
Remember anxiety and depression isn't weakness, its a sign or trying to remain strong for far too long :)
It all started after an unexpected incident left me believing something really bad had happened to me. I was covered in pins and needles and was unable to talk, so much like a stroke.
At 20 years old I knew this was rare but the event was terrifying and unanswered questions lead to a severity in anxiety. I managed to envoke horrible anxious symptoms which we all know only worsen the thoughts in our heads and back up the notion that something horrible is going on with our health. People kept telling me I was okay. I would not believe this. The twitching, IBS, aches and pains, trembles, nausea, shortness of breath, palpitations and the rest were too real to ignore.
I had many tests ECGs, blood tests, MRI, urine samples, blood pressure and blood sugar. Each time nothing was found.
In the space of a few months I diagnosed myself with:
Stroke
TIA
Heart attack
Cancer
HIV
Lyme disease
MS
ALS/MND
Brain tumor (and many many more)
The worst of these was when I believed I had HIV.. this lasted only a matter of week but led to me moving out of my home with my boyfriend with my sister, as she was the only one who would support me truly the way I needed. I felt I couldn't be around my niece in case I made her ill and acted like I was a person actually dying. Selfish I know. I though I had a terrible disease I had given my boyfriend and that my life was ruined. I was a broken person, told my parents things they should never know. Couldn't sleep with the adrenaline surges keeping me awake. They got so bad at a point I felt I was going to pass out and that my heart was failing. After numerous trips to hospital, numerous trips to A&E and thousands of searches on google and discussions with my sister I feel I have made a huge step forward.
In the last three months I have been focusing on health and exercise. I use an app called myfitnesspal and I coudn't recommend it more!! It gave me a new obsession in a way, something else to focus my energies on rather than waiting for the next twitch. I began to regain self confidence and motivation which I had lost. I believe that distraction really is the best medicine in my case. Of course seeking help is the best option but for me focusing of improving my health and weight loss has been an absolute breath of fresh air.
After a while of exercising and eating well, logging my meals weights and exercise I realised that I no longer got muscle twitches, headaches, palpitations or even breathless. I began to feel myself again!
I look back at the mess my life used to be and feel ashamed that I ever let it get that way. I have accepted what happened to me was a type of migraine. Having been told this following an MRI I was reluctant to accept it but now I have a clear mind and rare symptoms of anxiety I can accept this. Anxiety is truly an awful thing, it seems crazy that we fear death and ill health so much but we progress to put such strains on our mental and physical health. I have had a few migraines following all with scary symptoms however I can control my fear now. I still experience some symptoms on anxiety but I am able to tell myself this palpitation could be due to this or this twitch is because my leg is tired or my anxiety may be subconciously high due to this...
I strongly would recommend trying this, not only have I remained almost free from anxiety for three months but I have improved my health, gained motivation and lost 19lbs so far :). I am the happiest I have been in a long time. I am not afraid to party with my friends I do not fear social situations and I don't feel the need to focus on different parts of my body waiting for a symptom.
My friend has recently met a girl, she suffers from fits and I worry for her so much. She knows she cant control them but the fear is taking over her. It pains me to see her in a situation and body language and things she does reminds me so much of how I used to be. Its a lot more obvious then what I thought it was.
I know this is an essay and a half but I felt I had to share this in hopes that it can help someone else. The motivation to improve your lifestyle is key. Its a perfect distraction that improves both physical and mental health.
I hope everyone is okay, I am still fighting against anxiety but feel I have made a huge step and am in hope that we can all fight against this together. NoMorePanic has been and will continue to be amazing support at times when I most needed it and I have met some lovely and comforting people through it. I do not visit the site as much as I used to as I found I was on it all day every day seeking reassurance I no longer need.
Hope everyone is well and good luck with beating anxiety. It isn't recognised as an illness as much as it should be! x x x
---------- Post added at 23:35 ---------- Previous post was at 23:32 ----------
Remember anxiety and depression isn't weakness, its a sign or trying to remain strong for far too long :)