gregcool
01-04-13, 18:28
Guys im really strugling with this and am finding a life withlut contact to the outside world really really hard...being at my sisters in a strange flat with her and her hubby and her older son and his girlfriend hearing them all laughing about and relaxed with life,all in there own ruteens.my days are verrrrry long and verrry lonely and boaring....i just cant adapt to this ...not having my home and familly around me solid now for 11 days..its just getting harder every day and slowly sinking in that this is real and for good. I just cant stop thinking of my life and how i feel i have failed to be happy married in a secure famliy life..i just do not have my wife to cuddle up to,to talk to,so sit next to and lay in each others arms to cuddle with my kids.etc etc. I feel so vonrable hear board and just cant see a way out..my anxiety is so high and my mood so low.im tired of watching tv iv been on long walks but still there is so much time left in each day to fill and i live in a different town now,so no familier faces etc..its like iv been erased from life and everyone is carying on as norm around me..i went to my appt at the chrises team today only to see someone different who gave me only 15 min of what felt like interigation and seemed cross with me because i am not feeling any better after trying recomended advice..i told her to try and see that i have lost my life!! And home and suffer with mental illness on top that is through the roof..she just did not get it..she just didnt see that im greeving for my life i had just lost after 15 years and my depression etc....i left feeling unsuported and worse than i did when i went in..
Im spending most of my days in a room .thats it.i go for a long walk and sit in my sisters front room for a couple if hrs.its such a wast of excistance im a busy chatty sociable guy who has been disabled in life with no one real anymore...I keep getting real low and all i want to do is hear my wifes voice giving me reasurance..but i know thats not going to come..then it hits me i think she is coping without me in her life better thsn i am .she still remains at our home with our kids so she still has everything eles...and the kids to keep her feeling some kind of norm..im not sure what help i need .im not sure ill feel any better..i have no job no motavation no care.i am now hooked again on sleeping pills every night now..i dont have any vission or hope.i want to feel some kind of joy..i just feel empty and hate this..im feeling sorry for myself all the time.i hate me i hate life...What can i do.
Im spending most of my days in a room .thats it.i go for a long walk and sit in my sisters front room for a couple if hrs.its such a wast of excistance im a busy chatty sociable guy who has been disabled in life with no one real anymore...I keep getting real low and all i want to do is hear my wifes voice giving me reasurance..but i know thats not going to come..then it hits me i think she is coping without me in her life better thsn i am .she still remains at our home with our kids so she still has everything eles...and the kids to keep her feeling some kind of norm..im not sure what help i need .im not sure ill feel any better..i have no job no motavation no care.i am now hooked again on sleeping pills every night now..i dont have any vission or hope.i want to feel some kind of joy..i just feel empty and hate this..im feeling sorry for myself all the time.i hate me i hate life...What can i do.