Are you close to your family?

[busybee09]

I was watching "cake boss" this morning (if any of you have seen it) and i realised how close this guy is to his family. I know his family help him run his business so they spend a lot of time together, but in general i just feel like the italian/spanish etc culture are really close to their families.

I have a small family which makes me sad as im not really close to them and hardly see them. At Christmas i get depressed because my day is basically me mum/dad nan/her partner and i get extremely bored and feel like there is no life in our house hold. Dont get me wrong i love them to bits but i get so jealous and feel so upset that i don't have the nice family gatherings and get togethers only when theres a wedding/party.

Anyone in my boat?

[steveo]

My family is smaller. I'm 28 and since I was 12, Christmas has been just me and my dad.

I have a mum but don't really see her that much.

Haven't really ever had a family gathering. I think that's why I completely dismiss christmas

[Lissa101]

I have a small family too, tiny in fact. Its just me and my mum and we always spend xmas and new year together. When I was younger I used to resent the fact I couldn't go out partying on xmas eve and hogmanay because my mum would have been alone. But now I really value the closeness we have as result. The downside is that I don't really tell her any of my anxiety problems because I can't bear to see her worried - she's in her 60's and her health is poor so she can't really be the type of mum who looks after me.

We have (between us) 3 dogs, 2 rescue frogs (12 years old now!), a rescue 2-legged lizard and, of course, some nice friends which help keep the household lively xx

[panickyme]

Isn't that the best show? I love the stuff they make. (always makes me want cake) They are such a close family, but they have there issues also. I'm am part Italian, and growing up was crazy, big family, always going to dinners. It's sad how much of my family has passed on, it's not so large anymore. My immediate family consists of my husband, and 4 children which I adore. We are very close. Then there is my mom who can get on my nerves, but I love her, my sister and her family, and my husbands father. (who we adore) We kind of distance ourselves from my husbands sisters, and mother. (very happy for that) and 1 dog. So anymore my family is not so large, but I really appreciate what I have. :hugs:

[LauraJF]

I don't come from a small family but my family feels very small.

I have two sisters and two brothers and none of them have anything to do with me. My mother says that my younger sister has always been jealous of me and she has managed to turn a lot of people against me with her lies. Like you, I also spend Christmas with just my parents. (My fiance goes to his sister's house but comes back in the evening.) My mother's only brother is a bachelor and I don't know my cousins on my father's side. I tried to get to know one cousin but she's not very nice, I added her as a friend on facebook and one day she deleted me without a word. She has an older sister and two brothers. I made an attempt to get to know them when I added her as a friend.

My fiance has 7 siblings and I hoped that I would be marrying into a close family but they're not that close. Five of his siblings don't have children and he doesn't have many nieces and nephews. They are a nice family but they live their own independent lives.






I was watching "cake boss" this morning (if any of you have seen it) and i realised how close this guy is to his family. I know his family help him run his business so they spend a lot of time together, but in general i just feel like the italian/spanish etc culture are really close to their families.

I have a small family which makes me sad as im not really close to them and hardly see them. At Christmas i get depressed because my day is basically me mum/dad nan/her partner and i get extremely bored and feel like there is no life in our house hold. Dont get me wrong i love them to bits but i get so jealous and feel so upset that i don't have the nice family gatherings and get togethers only when theres a wedding/party.

Anyone in my boat?

[Bekzie]

I am from an Irish family and we are very close, even with great aunts, great uncles, second and third cousins. We are a massive family though :)

[Dazza123]

I have 7 brothers and sisters plus mum and dad, assorted nephews, nieces etc, don't see them very much at all because my anxiety makes me very antisocial, but we all live within a few streets of each other, and if I need them they are there. This suits me very well.

[Oatcake]

I don't come from a small family but my family feels very small.

I have two sisters and two brothers and none of them have anything to do with me. My mother says that my younger sister has always been jealous of me and she has managed to turn a lot of people against me with her lies.

My fiance has 7 siblings and I hoped that I would be marrying into a close family but they're not that close. Five of his siblings don't have children and he doesn't have many nieces and nephews. They are a nice family but they live their own independent lives.

Quite similar to Laura here. My mum passed away when I was a teenager, and something possessed my sister to turn as many of the family against me as she could, including our Dad. She'd bleed them of all the cash she could get them to hand over before moving on to another family member. 17 years on, she'll now only bring her children to visit people if they feed her, give her presents, or write her a cheque. She's not poor, she's just cunning and enjoys living the life of Riley. One of my early counsellors suggested that her behaviour contributed to the onset of my GAD quite significantly.

My fiance is from a big family, but they're quite distant. I get on really well with my future sister-in-law though, and I'm doing my best to win his mother over, even if I have to bite my tongue sometimes :whistles:

I like the old saying - "Friends are the family you choose for yourself". I've chosen pretty wisely, my "family" are great :)

[Tessar]

I come from a fairly big family; I had 4 brothers, all very loud.... as the only girl it was quite hard at times. Unfortunately my mother got distracted by the misbehaviour of two of my brothers; they made our house a very stressful & unpleasant place to be often. Saying that, when I was little I can remember being close to my mother & really loving her. It felt like she could protect me from everything. It did change as I got older.... which is a pity; eventually I couldnt spend time with her as it just did my head in.
I discovered recently that my father deliberately stopped my family from seeing my mother's brothers. I now know her brothers used to get together & I am so disappointed I didnt get to know my cousins. But I'm putting that right now because they are so lovely. I have a lovely aunt too who helped me through my first bout of depression. She was & still is amazing; but she moved abroad so I dont get to speak to her very often. Thats a pity as I miss her.
My parents are old now, my mothers health is getting worse. My father, I think, wont admit it but he is getting forgetful. I dont see them often as they do my head in. I can be around my family as they were responsible for most of my issues. Once of my brothers died last year & it meant I had to spend time with my family. I ended up back in depression as a result.
Saying all that, my Little brother & I get on well. We were very close when we were growing up; he saved me from the hideousness of my older brothers. One of my older brothers who wasnt kind to me as a child, actually apologised to me. We are now close. So at least out of all of it I do have 2 brothers I can rely on. Plus I have lots of lovely nieces & nephews varying in age from toddler right up to mid twenties! Children are so good at making you feel worthwhile....& we always have fun together.

[Spot-the-frog]

Small family on my side and we are very close, my partners family tho are very distant, or should I say he is distant with them and I don't understand that but accept it.

[semper solus]

My Family are not close. The feelings I have about my family is they don't feel like family! It scares me to admit it but I don't feel anything for any of them, and even one of them is my twin.

[alihud]

I used to have a very close family,half sisters,half brother ,aunts uncles,cousins. We all lived in London and saw each other regularly. Even our neighbours were like family. Oh my goodness how things have changed. When I was 20 my parents and everyone else moved away leaving me with my abusive boyfriend(long story). My parents are now dead,I don't ever speak to two of my sisters except Xmas cards,occasionally speak to my other sister but she has BPD and is emotionally unavailable. Last weeks was in such a state of panic I rang my brother out of the blue,we talk on the phone but I haven't seen him in years. I last went to see him but he has never come here. He was actually very sweet when I called him,I was so desperate for family contact. I realise things change but I so yearn for the old days sometimes. I have two lovely kids who do make up for a lot of it but at Xmas and Easter I'm always on my own as they are at their dads and its a pretty horrid time for me.:scared15:

[Edie]

I moved away from my family when I was 20, on very bad terms with my parents, and my extended family did not live close by when I was a child - my dad's parents even lived abroad, and they have both died now.

Living away from my parents enabled me to have some distance and we began to rebuild a friendship. My brother visited regularly and we formed a close friendship and he grew very supportive of me.

I moved back to live near my parents about 3 years ago and have been able to repair the damage i our relationship. My grandparents were also living nearby since about 5 years ago. I'm lucky that I can visit my parents and grandparents regularly.

My family suffered the loss of my brother nearly 2 years ago and it has brought the rest of us closer. I have some contact with my parents nearly every day, even if it is just a text message. They have been an absolute tower of strength to me, and I hope I have supported them in some way as well. As adults, my brother and I were starting to build friendships with our cousins - they live in North London and I live just south of London and we occasionally met in Central London. With effort on both sides, I have managed to maintain friendships with my cousins.

I have 3 cousins who are still children (the oldest is 13). They live over an hour away, but for the past 3 years they have occasionally come to stay at my house for weekends. (One at a time, lovely as they are, I could not cope with 3 children!!!) I hope to maintain friendships with them throughout their teenage years and once they are adults too.

I find facebook really useful for staying in touch. I do not have a close enough relationship with my cousins to phone them up and tell them about a funny thing that happened, but we share this stuff via Facebook so I keep up with their everyday lives, which is nice.

I've fallen out with my uncle a bit, but I get on OK with all my other aunts and uncles (3 married couples), though I'm not close to any of them. Just because none of them live very close really, I haven't seen all that much of them. Though I am going to visit my aunt and uncle for a few days over the summer, so that might be a chance to build a relationship.

I'm very lucky really though. I actually have a lot.

[Tessar]

Last weeks was in such a state of panic I rang my brother out of the blue,we talk on the phone but I haven't seen him in years. I last went to see him but he has never come here. He was actually very sweet when I called him,I was so desperate for family contact. I realise things change but I so yearn for the old days sometimes. I have two lovely kids who do make up for a lot of it but at Xmas and Easter I'm always on my own as they are at their dads and its a pretty horrid time for me.:scared15:

Ali, If u r on your own.....let us know because we can keep you company. I hate the idea of anyone being alone when they need company... We can have a special online get together & make sure you aren't alone.

I really share your sentiments about bringing back the old times. When I was five, I was the youngest of 4. As the baby of the family & the only girl, I was close to my mother as I recall. But then my little brother came along & it all changed. I do remind myself that at least I experienced a period of true happiness even if it was all those years ago..

---------- Post added at 21:10 ---------- Previous post was at 20:56 ----------

Edie, it's good to hear that after the loss of your brother (for which I am very sorry) this brought your family closer together. I am so pleased as well that you have been able to rebuild a relationship with your parents. That is a credit to you all. If you keep at it, I'd say you may well continue to build other strong relationships in your family. I had an aunt who I didn't get on with as a child, then in my 30's I got to see more of her. We were just getting on really well, when sadly she died. If there's one thing I have learned from that, it's get in there & repair it if you can. That's why it makes me happy to read your post because you are able to make the most of the family you are able to relate to. Long may it last.:yesyes: