ritaroo81
02-04-13, 13:35
Hello there.
I thought i should introduce myself as it says to on your welcoming email. I am a bit of a forum novice so apologise up front. Hope you can all bear with me... I dont do short messages and this post will seem to other like a long winded life story and again im sorry for that too...
Well my name is Ria and im 32 years old and a stay at home mom to my 2 gorgeous little girls aged 4 & 9mths. I married my lovely hubby 2 years ago April 30th and we been together 13 years February just gone..
About 3mths ago we had a run of bad news and a couple of deaths close to home, which set me of thinking about myself and my family, i ended up getting myself in to such a tizz that i had my first panic attack, (id never experienced one before so didn't know what was happening. I experienced palpitations, pins and needles, shortness of breath, shivering and shakes, headache. I ended up in tears convinced i was having a heart attack and dying myself)
I tried to ignore it and ended up having a couple more in the space of a few weeks, I thought i was going mad and was totally convinced i was dying every ache twinge and pain had to be the worst possible outcome. I got on the internet and googled everything looking for the possible problems and ended twisting my head even further, to the point that i couldnt sleep, so that then made everything worse still. After running around after the girls all day all id want to do is flop in to bed, and id go up but id just toss and turn all night and i felt like id got a buzzing sound in my head, like i was wired or like when you switch the TV into stand by. I finally cracked about 6 weeks ago, i finally came down one of the nights and spoke to my husband and told him what was going on and bless him he tried to calm me and tell me everything will be ok. I admitted that i was scared to death of dying and worried about losing him and the girls.
Im not normally like this, i am usually the one everyone turns to to be strong or organise everything.
Anyway after coming clean to my husband i felt that i could speak to the Dr, the first Dr (not my usual Dr) i went to didn't really help, he checked me over as i told him of the pains etc and he said i had a clean bill of health, i didn't tell him about the panic attacks as i felt really embarrassed as telling someone, and talking about my feelings i knew logically that everyone is dying in reality and its the only certain thing in life is birth and death.. if that makes sense.
After another week i couldnt mentally hold it together any longer. ( The girls and House has always been fine, whilst my mind was occupied looking after them during the day, i am fine.)
I meet a group of friends every Thursday and one of the girls asked if i was ok as i looked tired. I just broke down, and burst into floods of tears and admitted what i was going through... The girls were brilliant and i even learnd a few things about them that i didnt know ( i suppose we are all hiding our own demons) I felt better for talking and one of the girls dragged me up to see the dr this time i saw my usual dr who could see i wasnt my usual self, he was fab. He diagnosed me with a Anxiety Disorder and was borderline depression. (My dr did the test on me and he decided that i was behaving as i was due to lack of sleep and to be honest i think he was right.)
He gave me a course of zopiclone and i managed to finally get some sleep and i felt 100% better. I also looked into different ways of treating Anxiety and found a lovely lady who is a Holistic Therapist specialising in Grief (something my dr said he suggested that a grief concillor might help). I ve been seeing her for a few sessions as i cant afford to do much. Id been fine, it was fab she gave me loads of techniques to try and showed me some breathing exercises, which really help, she also treats you with massage and she talks to you whilst you massaging, telling you that its fine to have such thoughts, but not to get caught up in them and let the come but let them go type messages, she has been a rock, (not saying my friends and hubby havent). and then the last week, i have been starting to wind myself up again, my husband suggested one of my moles has changed and now im worried that its something awful, i have seen my dr and he made me an urgent apt with the skin clinic on Friday 5th.
I found this site whilst googling anxiety and stress and it has taken me a few week s to get the courage together to tell my story and post it, but i just thought if i could find anyone it would be on here. Im sorry that i go on and on, it is a flaw i have generally... i talk to much ;)
Thanks for giving me a moment .. well prob half hour by the time you reached this bit... xx
I thought i should introduce myself as it says to on your welcoming email. I am a bit of a forum novice so apologise up front. Hope you can all bear with me... I dont do short messages and this post will seem to other like a long winded life story and again im sorry for that too...
Well my name is Ria and im 32 years old and a stay at home mom to my 2 gorgeous little girls aged 4 & 9mths. I married my lovely hubby 2 years ago April 30th and we been together 13 years February just gone..
About 3mths ago we had a run of bad news and a couple of deaths close to home, which set me of thinking about myself and my family, i ended up getting myself in to such a tizz that i had my first panic attack, (id never experienced one before so didn't know what was happening. I experienced palpitations, pins and needles, shortness of breath, shivering and shakes, headache. I ended up in tears convinced i was having a heart attack and dying myself)
I tried to ignore it and ended up having a couple more in the space of a few weeks, I thought i was going mad and was totally convinced i was dying every ache twinge and pain had to be the worst possible outcome. I got on the internet and googled everything looking for the possible problems and ended twisting my head even further, to the point that i couldnt sleep, so that then made everything worse still. After running around after the girls all day all id want to do is flop in to bed, and id go up but id just toss and turn all night and i felt like id got a buzzing sound in my head, like i was wired or like when you switch the TV into stand by. I finally cracked about 6 weeks ago, i finally came down one of the nights and spoke to my husband and told him what was going on and bless him he tried to calm me and tell me everything will be ok. I admitted that i was scared to death of dying and worried about losing him and the girls.
Im not normally like this, i am usually the one everyone turns to to be strong or organise everything.
Anyway after coming clean to my husband i felt that i could speak to the Dr, the first Dr (not my usual Dr) i went to didn't really help, he checked me over as i told him of the pains etc and he said i had a clean bill of health, i didn't tell him about the panic attacks as i felt really embarrassed as telling someone, and talking about my feelings i knew logically that everyone is dying in reality and its the only certain thing in life is birth and death.. if that makes sense.
After another week i couldnt mentally hold it together any longer. ( The girls and House has always been fine, whilst my mind was occupied looking after them during the day, i am fine.)
I meet a group of friends every Thursday and one of the girls asked if i was ok as i looked tired. I just broke down, and burst into floods of tears and admitted what i was going through... The girls were brilliant and i even learnd a few things about them that i didnt know ( i suppose we are all hiding our own demons) I felt better for talking and one of the girls dragged me up to see the dr this time i saw my usual dr who could see i wasnt my usual self, he was fab. He diagnosed me with a Anxiety Disorder and was borderline depression. (My dr did the test on me and he decided that i was behaving as i was due to lack of sleep and to be honest i think he was right.)
He gave me a course of zopiclone and i managed to finally get some sleep and i felt 100% better. I also looked into different ways of treating Anxiety and found a lovely lady who is a Holistic Therapist specialising in Grief (something my dr said he suggested that a grief concillor might help). I ve been seeing her for a few sessions as i cant afford to do much. Id been fine, it was fab she gave me loads of techniques to try and showed me some breathing exercises, which really help, she also treats you with massage and she talks to you whilst you massaging, telling you that its fine to have such thoughts, but not to get caught up in them and let the come but let them go type messages, she has been a rock, (not saying my friends and hubby havent). and then the last week, i have been starting to wind myself up again, my husband suggested one of my moles has changed and now im worried that its something awful, i have seen my dr and he made me an urgent apt with the skin clinic on Friday 5th.
I found this site whilst googling anxiety and stress and it has taken me a few week s to get the courage together to tell my story and post it, but i just thought if i could find anyone it would be on here. Im sorry that i go on and on, it is a flaw i have generally... i talk to much ;)
Thanks for giving me a moment .. well prob half hour by the time you reached this bit... xx