View Full Version : Hello everyone
Hi everyone,
I'm new to the forum and thought I'd give a bit of background about myself and introduce myself.
So...it all started when I was 13, out of nowhere I started to believe I had various cancers, it went from lung to brain to testicular. This all lasted a good few months if not more. Then I was health anxiety free for the best part of 7 years :) However, in that time I did suffer from other anxiety issues and depressive episodes.
At the age of 20 my health anxiety came back! I was convinced I had colorectal cancer for many months. I visited my GP on numerous occasions, did a lot of google searching, was pretty convinced I was going to die, it was not nice. This passed though and when I was 21 I thought I had MND/MS and briefly a brain tumour. It was hell, again I thought I was going to die.
Now onto my current fear, HIV. It started when I was 23 after having gone to the barbers, was convinced he had infected me when he was cutting my hair. This was my worst period of anxiety ever, it completely disabled me and this is why I went to see my GP. Long story short, I'm now 24 and still worried about the same thing. I was sent to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with anxiety with obsessional thinking, GP believes I have OCD and my therapist is treating me for obsessional thinking and health anxiety!
So that's me. I'm struggling with the health anxiety but try and carry on as normal each day but really feel like I'm living in denial and I am actually ill. In fact I am constantly scanning my body for physical symptoms to prove that I am in fact ill. I really wish I could get over this and get on with my life, that's even if this is health anxiety, which at the moment I seem to doubt despite being told by 2 different GP's, an occupational health doctor, a psychiatrist and my therapist!
:welcome:
There is lots of help and support here
Welcome!
I've had the exact same worries as you but the other way round - HIV first now MS - what I'm terrified of is incurrable things so cancer doesn't (oddly) worry me. I'm sure it's all anxiety and for HIV you can get the test and its extreamly accurate so (not because I think there is any chance u have it) but because its the only reassurance you need - get the test and believe its anxiety because it truly is hunni
I'm awaiting MRI results Friday to put my mind at rest for ms, the doc didn't want to give me the test but knew that as my anxieties were so disease specific I wouldn't be able to relax until I had a clear MRI - I just hope to god it is clear Friday and then I can get on with life!!
It's too short to waste xxx
Hi guys, thanks for the warm welcome :)
Gee, I think in a similar way to you, HIV scares me the most from all those diseases as it's not curable but it can be treated. I did think about having the test but seeing as I also suffer from OCD it would be seen as a form of reassurance which is a big no no. Also in the last year I have come up with so many different ways that I believe I have been infected with HIV e.g through shaking hands, standing next to someone with a nosebleed etc. I can't just keep having the test, it may give me some restbite but not for very long unfortunately :weep: I just can't believe this all started from a haircut!!! Before that I had never even considered HIV, now it's all I think about sadly.
My life has been severly restricted by my health anxiety, you're right life is too short but I just can't seem to shake these obsessions!
All the best for Friday (although if you had to persuade your doctor for the MRI, I'm sure it's because you're fine and he didn't think you needed it!), having suffered with the MS obsession I know how difficult it is!
Thanks - the problem I have is I'm sure I never had symptoms before this but with this time I do have them (or have) I wasn't anxious I didn't think when they started too, it's very weird - I did see the thing about jack Osborne and then my 2nd cousin got ms so maybe it was subconscious ?!
Hope so!
I think when I started to get what I thought to be MS symptoms I wasn't particularly stressed by anything but looking back I did have a lot on my mind at the time and ultimately anxiety can manifest in so many different ways! When I'm stressed, I'm used to it being lots and lots of stress but we forget that even little stressors can bring on these types of symptoms.
Also the more you think about it, the more anxious you'll be, the more symptoms you'll get, it's a vicious circle! I think the fact your 2nd cousin also got it must have reinforced this fear in you too. It does sound a lot like anxiety at the moment even if it wasn't that to begin with!
I'm trying to believe the specialists and the neurologist said he would not normally scan a person who had the symptoms I did plus after 2 weeks of meds the symptoms have v nearly all gone!
I'm trying to believe the specialists and the neurologist said he would not normally scan a person who had the symptoms I did plus after 2 weeks of meds the symptoms have v nearly all gone!
I think this is just further evidence that is just anxiety! I've actually become scared of doctors, I'm scared they are going to tell me something is wrong with me which does not help the health anxiety!
I"m going through a bout of health anxiety and reading this thread made me realise something, which is good. I was irrationally fearful of HIV at the beginning of this year. It happened after a friend of mine came around and told me he was HIV positive. A couple of days later it suddenly came to me that I had probably contracted it from him by using the same tap when he washed his hands, or shared the handtowel, then picked something on my skin and made it bleed. I got so uncontrolably anxious about it and couldn't stop thinking about it. It is really really silly isn't it. I know that the odds of getting it are so so low, but I alway think it would be just my luck that I've caught it. I've decided not to get tested, like you, because I don't need to worry about it. I have managed to rationalise it with myself now, thank goodness, but wish I didn't just jump to conclusions. Reading this thread made me realise that it's not okay for us to be thinking like this is it? It's not right and we shouldn't do it to ourselves. For some reason we tell ourselves that we must be right and the worst will always happen, but it's just not true. I just got some blood test results this morning that confirm I don't have pancreatic or liver cancer, but now I'm worried about bowel or bladder cancer. It's just never ending. And then when you get a clean bill of health, it starts all over again because it's been so long since your last test you think something could have happened in the mean time. We need to fight against this thought process - so lets all practice some positive thoughts today - we are all awesome people and we take great care of ourselves and we're not sick and don't need to worry - all worrying does is make you sick which is the opposite of how we want to feel.
Hi,
I think you are completely right, we always do jump to worst case scenarios and we always assume that however remote the possibility it will happen to us! I think this is the fundamental problem with health anxiety I suppose. The ironic thing is I did have the same obsession about going to the barbers and contracting HIV before this incident and after a few days I was able to move on from that but this time it has stuck for some reason! My therapist says it was because I was under a lot of other stress then and that's why I couldn't let go of that as easily! The sad thing is when I do get to a point where I think I'm okay there is always this little 'what if' question in my head and I just can't truely get on with my life!
Also you are completely right, all worrying does is make you ill. In fact I have had many physical anxiety symptoms as a result of all this worry and then I think that I have all sorts of diseases because of it!! I just want to be happy, I want to be free from all these thoughts, I hope one day I can say I am truely happy!
Hi guys, thanks for the warm welcome :)
Gee, I think in a similar way to you, HIV scares me the most from all those diseases as it's not curable but it can be treated. I did think about having the test but seeing as I also suffer from OCD it would be seen as a form of reassurance which is a big no no. Also in the last year I have come up with so many different ways that I believe I have been infected with HIV e.g through shaking hands, standing next to someone with a nosebleed etc. I can't just keep having the test, it may give me some restbite but not for very long unfortunately :weep: I just can't believe this all started from a haircut!!! Before that I had never even considered HIV, now it's all I think about sadly.
My life has been severly restricted by my health anxiety, you're right life is too short but I just can't seem to shake these obsessions!
All the best for Friday (although if you had to persuade your doctor for the MRI, I'm sure it's because you're fine and he didn't think you needed it!), having suffered with the MS obsession I know how difficult it is!
u seriously think you should educate yourself with info on HIV, Doing this will help your anxiety kniwng how its passed on . dont be ingornant with it , read about it and move on x
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