Hello

[Malc]

I am new to this site and hope that someone can reassure me that I am not going mad.

I have suffered with anxiety and depression for so long I cannot relate my whole story here.

I thought I had been able to cope with this problem on my own with the medication provided by my GP.

I have been on paroxetine for 10 yrs.

For the last week I have gone downhill after a virus. It started with a touch of tinnitus and has now moved to psychological problems.

I think that I am becoming deluded and a schizophrenic. I have always had a terrible fear of such a diagnosis.

I keep imagining a person saying I'm here to me. I am so confused and scared that I am not sure what is real anymore.

By the way I am 53 with a beautiful wife and 3 great kids. I everything going for me but I feel like I am at the end of my tether.

I discovered this site by accident and hope someone can let me know what they think.

[Mark13]

Hi. I'm sure you'll be glad you joined.

There's plenty of advice and support here.

You're not alone.

You don't specify your symptoms in detail, but I had a "breakdown" in 1992 and was convinced I had a psychotic illness (it turned out to be acute depression and anxiety).

Even now I suffer from depersonalisation and derealisation, so anxiety can really play havoc with your thought processes and sense of self.

[Malc]

Thanks for getting back to me.
I have had all the classic symptoms of feeling like nothing is real or I am living on a different planet.
I keep imagining a voice inside my head. I keep trying to stop going back to this thought but just can't.
I have the morbid dread that I will lose everything and be housed away from the world just screaming at the walls.
The rational part of me says that this is an anxiety state but when the thoughts well up from no where like this voice in my head it is hard not to believe that the worst case scenario is playing out.
At the minute the panic has abated a little b ut all I am doing is just trawling through this site finding others like me. I cannot think about tomorrow other than to dread what more is going to hit me.

Sorry to whine on but I am relieved just to get some of this out into the open.

I hope that contact with some of you will alleviate the worst of my fears.

Malc

[matt94]

What you're feeling is completely normal. You're just 'catastrophizing'. I suffer from obsessive IRRATIONAL thoughts from the minute I wake up to the time I go to bed. I am just trying to learn to replace them with positive, rational ones.

/showthread.php?t=132754

As you can see, you are not alone.

[Malc]

Mark93,

Thanks for the reassurance. I am sorry for anyone who has suffer this nightmare.
Are you using CBT to help you or are you struggling on your own?
I wish you well.
Please let me know how you are progressing.
Malc