Numb Face Newbie

[Serafina86]

Hello,

I have read through this site many times during the day, night and even when i'm on holiday. It has been such a life line for me, I figured why don't i join up.

I suffer with anxiety alot. I remember a time when i didn't have anxiety and i crave to be that person again.

My biggest symptom up until last year were the panic attacks. Now thats changed and i suffer with right faced numbness. I have had all the scans so i know thats all it is, but lets face it if your on this site were not built to 'believe' thats all it is. We can't shut out the worst case scenario.

I have a young daughter and an excellent partner, my day job is to teach. I have so many personas now that i don't know who i am? All that i know is i'm anxious and i strive to keep it hidden.

My partner is aware of my thoughts and feelings but i don't truly feel like i have anybody to talk too. I need somebody to understand, to have experienced the hell of getting through the day without making myself look like an idiot as i've convinced myself im dying.

I'm happy. I am very lucky in my life. I'm torn with the problem that the job i love is whats making me ill. i've begged for help but im not being heard. I have 77 students on my register and i'm covering two members of staff. i'm not blessed with the title ' teacher' so i get paid a fraction of what i should and that doesn't help.

I just want to be me again. To wake up and get on with life and not have every loud noise make me jump four foot into the air.

Well this is me and i'm pleased to meet you :)

[hanj16]

Hello Serafina,

A big welcome to the site, :hugs: its great that you've joined after viewing it many times. Hopefully it'll continue to prove to be a great source of support for you. I can relate to what you say about having many different personas. I have social anxiety and I often feel that I have to adjust my personality and behaviour depending upon who I'm with. I suppose we all do it to a certain extent but like you I worry I don't know who I am anymore. Your job sounds very demanding but realise how well you are doing, I'm certain I wouldn't be able to cope with it.

Warm Wishes
Hannah

[Serafina86]

Hello Hannah,

Thanks for your response :) I dream of sitting in the cinema with my friends and not wanting to run out at every scene in fear of nothing. It sucks. I don't feel like a 27 year old. Its a stressful existence anxiety, especially when people don't understand. I've started trying to keep it away from my partner as i'm terrified he will grow weary of me and my annoyances. ( He is very supportive so this is probably just a fear i have ... )

Its because of my students 16-64 years old that i stick with my job. College students are freak unique and as a class we are all suited perfectly. Plus alot of my students have panic attacks so we like to have a vent about how much we hate them. :)

Thanks for your welcome,

S :)

[Lilharry]

Welcome! Nice to "meet" you and I'm sure you'll find a lot of like minded people here :)

[Thumbelina]

Hi Serafina,
The numb face was a hit symptom for a period of time for me. It became persistent folloing long periods of anxiety. I would tell this to the doc. He would confirm to me that it is one of the sideffects of the prolonged anx. But it would go away eventually. I would sometimes experience all the symptoms of stroke, heart attack, like by the book. Our mind is a powerful thing.
Facing it and looking the fear in the eyes and saying common then do it then right now, whatever you doing and show me what is the worst you can do, is powerful as anything. Because all that happens after is nothing, the sensations actually subside and fear fades away...try it, takes long to convince yourself that's it's safe but worth it. The only thing you will have to deal after is being drained and just a bid sad but it will also go away later.
Take care

[Serafina86]

Hello Lilharry, nice to meet you too :) I told my partner i had signed up for this and he seemed happy. Thought it as a positive move.

Hello Thumbelina, It was such a new symptom to me. I had all the scans. I think i make it worse as i've noticed when its numb i constantly push and poke it which doesn't help. I'm trying to ignore it. I notice if i go the gym after work instead of before work i'm leaving quite alot of stress behind, including the numb face.
I now tell myself if it was more serious the gym wouldn't make it disappear. Its all very disturbing. I crave to be a normal human being. I think my daughter helps alot. I won't expose her to my worries and anxiety ( shes three) so when im with her i know i keep it together. Only option. She sees happy playful mummy ... shes my best cure when im spiralling towards a panic attack.

It helps to know your not alone with these worries.

:)