Fear of seeing people i know out?crazy

[cheekychick]

hi just joined here so hi everyone! Just had to post my situation..8 years ago i was out shopping & bumped into a friend of a friend...for sum unknown reason i had a big panic attack & i went all hot and couldnt get my words out my mind went blank & i was red in the face & i was with my brothers & i said something stupid like 'better go and find my brothers!' felt so awful i went straight home & cried.Ever since i avoid shopping when im most anxious & it happens now more in other situations,meetings,interviews,dates & its making me sooo miserable i cant cope anymore.Ive tried counciling,hypnosis,betablockers,but to no avail,does anyone have te same kinda thing or know of any cures or coping methods i know you have to face it but its soo humilating i have no life anymore:([|)]

[ConfusedByLife]

Hi cheeky

Sorry, but reading ur story made me smile, not that im nasty, it just reminds me of how irrational social anxiety can be. Im the same with ppl I know, although Idont go blank, I just seem real embarrassed, for what reason I dont know. I just get an overwhelming feeling im embarrassing myself, and the more I worry the more anxious i get. What Juju said was right unfortunately. The only way to overcome this problem isto face the problem directly (if only I took my own advice, lol). Sure, the 1stf ew times may be really hard but each time you do it, taking the positives out of the experience, seeing it as a positive step to your recovery, the more confidence you will get and the easier and easier it "should" become. Tobe honest I thinkus social phobics over analyse. Ur mate probly didnt bat 2 eyelids at whatu thot was a humiliating moment. Weare our ownworst enemies and critics. I wish you all thebest inwateveryou decide, but for the sake of your happiness and quality of life thisis a problem you really must face before it gets out of control. Know there will always be people here to support you, who have been through and go through these kind of problems on a daily basis. Good Luck.:D

[cheekychick]

:DThanks for your advice guys.It's nice to hear im not the only one that gets this.. i have tried to overcome it but it is just embarrasing and i end up depressed again.Its got to the point that i dont want to go out with a boyfriend incase i bump into someone and they see me freak out to its limiting my life! I try to be brave but the relief i get from staying away is so much nicer than the shear fear of facing it.I suppose i've ket it get me for too long.I think confidence has alot to do with it too something which i lack.So has anyone overcome this fear or experience?its got to the point with me that forst sight of someone i know my flight or fight choice kicks in & my brain just makes me look and walk away! AARrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh frustrating. Nice to know theres lots of nice people on here though!:D

[freakedout]

Hi Cheeky,

Yep, I have that one too. Not sure if it is the social aspect of it, or the fact that if I am stopped by someone when out I suddenly feel that my escape is compromised. Not sure that makes sense. I have to keep moving, as quickly as possible usually. If someone wants to talk to me they have to walk with me!! But I avoid these situations, and many others, at all costs. Its mad I know, but it is also an unbearable feeling, you cannot think straight to hold a civilised conversation, and you feel all paranoid, so you have my empathy.

Not very reassuring for you, but I am certainly understanding
Take care
Freaky

[missacorah]

I think you summed that up brilliantly freaky - with me its also the thought that I cant leave anytime I want to if someone 'corners me' for a chat! I often dodge friends and make up stupid excuses why I need to leave quickly - I always regret it afterwards but still dont/cant stop!

The other morning I walked my son to the back entrance of his school which isnt used by many and I saw an old work colleague who I really used to get on with. When I saw her biking towards me I panicked as I hadnt seen her in along time and knew she would want to catch up. I crossed the path and tried to turn off before she would reach me. I had neraly made it when she shouted out to me and I had no choice but to stop lol. Serves me right! She knew nothing about all this as she left my workplace to have a baby before I got it so I had to stand there feeling like a lamb to the slaughter!

The first few minutes were awful while I thought all the usual rubbish like 'how will i explain myself now if i need to leave immediately' and 'she's looking at me and can tell immediately what is happening inside my body and thinks I am pathetic'. Anyway I stayed for about 5 minutes and had a chat and I felt good after because by her not knowing anything about my 'illness' I chatted about normal things which was nice for a change.

I am leaving for the local shops now and know I will be ducking and diving like theres no tomorrow if I spot someone i know - God knows they must have me marked out on those CCTV cameras as suspicious lol!

[cheekychick]

Hey guys. Thanks for your responses. I have not been on this site since i posted my post. I have to say you all make total sense and that you do have to face the problem to get over it. It is so hard. I am unfortunately off work currently with anxiety depression due to work and personal life.
Work got unbearable where i was expected to make cold calls to elderly regarding their first order & although my boss thinks im brilliant on the phone & has given me this job because he thinks that,i have an overwhelming sense of anxiety on the last day i attempted doing these calls. One because i was goiing through some personal relationship problems & two because my boss does not like us talking in the office & the office is so small & all people would have heard is me and so i panicked & had to keep walking out the office for feeling sick & not wanting my boss to turn round and ask why i wasn't doing anything.
I have been signed off and have to say it is getting harder to do the normal things. I flipped this morning just opening my front door because i caught site of my neighbour! I quickly shut the door,she must think i'm so rude. I am deperatly tryin to exercise as i have been told so many times this will help my confidence and so far its early days but feel better to know i'm doing something contructive.
I am applying for jobs as i can't bear ot go back into the office where we are restricted to speaking and its all very miserable in our office and belittling but i am finding as soon as i get an email of intereset regarding an application,i shy away & talk my way out of carrying it forward because i find the interview so fear inducing.
I also have shyed away from my family due to feeling like a failure and not wanting to be judged.
Does anyone else associate with these problems? i thought i'd keep it shortish....lol

Thanks guys