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View Full Version : rough day, home alone again for a while



swgrl09
05-04-13, 02:29
My fiance was away for work for two weeks, came home for a day yesterday, and today I brought him back to the airport for another long trip. I miss him really badly. I am worried that this will affect our relationship. I mean it hasn't really yet, we do facetime on our phones every night he is away, and make sure to keep in touch daily. I am just nervous that in the long run one day it will hurt our relationship ...

They say travel is bad for relationships. I am interviewing for a job to take on some night shifts at the hospital tomorrow, which would take more time away from us but we need the money and it will be good for my resume once I graduate from school ... he says to do it, it is temporary anyway.

I know we are fine right now, getting married in a month, etc. I guess I am just worried that eventually we will drift apart with all the travel and time apart :-\ Is that stupid of me?

I am feeling sad and lonely. I miss him. I just am feeling badly again ... I know it is temporary but still lonely.

---------- Post added at 21:29 ---------- Previous post was at 21:26 ----------

I think I am also a bit shaken up because I have heard of lots of people with cancer, which is what my mom died of and still triggers me. My best friend's father-in-law died out of nowhere of cancer this week. Also just heard about Roger Ebert dying of cancer. My supervisor at the hospital was diagnosed with breast cancer, somebody else at the hospital with a stage 4 brain tumor, and another who had lymphoma last year just started working there. I feel like I was doing ok with these triggers really and proud of myself until today where I just feel lonely and weak again.

LauraJF
05-04-13, 03:03
I'm sorry you're feeling lonely and weak right now and for all of the deaths you have experienced lately.

It's not stupid for you to be concerned. I think the fact that you are concerned shows that you have less of a chance of drifting away from your relationship. If you weren't concerned you would probably be more likely.

I actually think that travel is good for relationships. The time away allows you to miss each other. I think spending too much time together is more harmful to a relationship because some people argue and don't appreciate each other as much if they're always together.

Instead of thinking about how much you miss him put some of your thoughts into surprising him with something like a nice home cooked dinner when he gets home. That will be something you can look forward to and planning will help to take your mind off of how much you miss him.

Laura

swgrl09
05-04-13, 03:29
Hi Laura, thanks for your thoughts and advice :hugs:

You're right, it's just a lot with the wedding a month away and planning things with him not home. It makes me sad. But you are correct, it would be much more worrisome if I did not miss him at all and weren't concerned about making sure we stay in touch and keep connected.

Usually the first night is the worst for me ... or at least first couple of days and then I settle in. I am just reminding myself of that.