rosietj
05-04-13, 08:35
Hi all, I have not been on the forum for some time as I suppose my debilitating panic and anxiety strikes heavily at certain times and I cope otherwise.
I am desperate at the moment. What I am going to tell you all as to why I am in a right mess and a complete wreck will probably make you laugh and wince as so many people have such terrible issues going on in their life.
Unfortunately I have no explanation for my behaviour and neither does anyone else it seems. I have done the breathing, the relaxation and the positive thoughts etc, but nothing works when i am like this. I have been to my GP again yesterday and he was sympathetic and gave me 10mg of valium to calm me down. I am not convinced it is working as I am still all over the place.
Well briefly as I can. I broke my heart when my eldest daughter went to live in Australia 6 years ago. Dont get me wrong - she is wonderfully happy with a gorgeous husband and I have a beautiful granddaughter and its what any parent could wish for their child. I have 3 other daughters who obviously I adore too and they are a great support when I am like this, but they just don't understand how physically ill I feel and in mental torture. My husband tries, but frankly is not able to recognise the problem and I suppose he is as fed up with me as I am.
So what am I whinging and getting in a state about. Why does this misery happen to me every time I am nearing going to see them I just am a wreck. The panic and anxiety kicks in and I just am a misery to myself and my family. How stupid can I possibly be to behave in such a way. It is all irrational and I have no answers. It is a wonderful holiday and beautiful country so why am I building barriers. When I am here I want to be there and when I am there I dread leaving them. I only have to see or think about my suitcase and I the overwhelming awfulness starts. The first time 6 years ago when I was to go there for the first time I backed down and didn't go. I was then going alone and I think I was still 'grieving' after she left. I am building up to that state again and I just want this all to stop.
This is a horrible condition as it does make me feel so ill and everything seems hopeless. I am sorry for sounding so pathetic, but it is all very real to me and I can make no sense of myself and am ashamed of myself. I also have people in my work who are going through awful personal times and I have been their support and this adds to my guilt of being as I am. Sorry for being such a fool. Thanks for listening. R
I am desperate at the moment. What I am going to tell you all as to why I am in a right mess and a complete wreck will probably make you laugh and wince as so many people have such terrible issues going on in their life.
Unfortunately I have no explanation for my behaviour and neither does anyone else it seems. I have done the breathing, the relaxation and the positive thoughts etc, but nothing works when i am like this. I have been to my GP again yesterday and he was sympathetic and gave me 10mg of valium to calm me down. I am not convinced it is working as I am still all over the place.
Well briefly as I can. I broke my heart when my eldest daughter went to live in Australia 6 years ago. Dont get me wrong - she is wonderfully happy with a gorgeous husband and I have a beautiful granddaughter and its what any parent could wish for their child. I have 3 other daughters who obviously I adore too and they are a great support when I am like this, but they just don't understand how physically ill I feel and in mental torture. My husband tries, but frankly is not able to recognise the problem and I suppose he is as fed up with me as I am.
So what am I whinging and getting in a state about. Why does this misery happen to me every time I am nearing going to see them I just am a wreck. The panic and anxiety kicks in and I just am a misery to myself and my family. How stupid can I possibly be to behave in such a way. It is all irrational and I have no answers. It is a wonderful holiday and beautiful country so why am I building barriers. When I am here I want to be there and when I am there I dread leaving them. I only have to see or think about my suitcase and I the overwhelming awfulness starts. The first time 6 years ago when I was to go there for the first time I backed down and didn't go. I was then going alone and I think I was still 'grieving' after she left. I am building up to that state again and I just want this all to stop.
This is a horrible condition as it does make me feel so ill and everything seems hopeless. I am sorry for sounding so pathetic, but it is all very real to me and I can make no sense of myself and am ashamed of myself. I also have people in my work who are going through awful personal times and I have been their support and this adds to my guilt of being as I am. Sorry for being such a fool. Thanks for listening. R