View Full Version : Life can't continue until path is cleared
Let me paint the scene for you. You're 24 years old, No Job, No Friends, living in a small studio apartment, which you had no choice in living in. Your father treats you like a 12 year old, and would rather focus on other people than you, takes control of your life, and keeps you awake to early hours in the morning due to having sleep apnea and refusing to get it sorted out. You have no confidence, no way to raise a voice, and all you want to do is let out tons of steam, but can't. and this happens everyday for two years.
I'm currently receiving CBT and it's been tons of help, with some great advice, and I would recommend it to anyone struggling with Anxiety/Depression. But the scene above is one of the biggest roadblocks I've ever had to battle, and it's a hard battle, with no chance of winning right now.
My CBT can't continue forward until that scene is completely scrumped up and thrown in the bin, but with no motivation, a bad view on the world, and a reluctant, Delusional Father blocking your path, How am I supposed to progress?
It's come to the point that I've given up. I'm tired mentally and physically, I'm in pain and my head is gone south. I just need something that can help me battle through the barricade.
Any advice would be helpful.
it's not easy friend
can your living situation be improved? its difficult to focus on recovery when you're in a difficult situation. can you get your own place?
That's a pretty horrible situation. Is there any way you could move out? Maybe something your CBT therapist might be able to help with, or point you in the direction of some support.
it's not easy friend
can your living situation be improved? its difficult to focus on recovery when you're in a difficult situation. can you get your own place?
That's a pretty horrible situation. Is there any way you could move out? Maybe something your CBT therapist might be able to help with, or point you in the direction of some support.
I was on a housing list, until my father moved to another studio flat (I was living with him in another studio flat beforehand) and was taken of the list, due to the address changing, I was on the list for a year and a half before I was taken off.
According to Citizen Advice, I need a source of income before I can consider getting my own place. So I need a job or sign up to get Job Seekers Allowance. I've not heard a response from the Job Centre, since signing up about two/three weeks ago.
footballking
07-04-13, 00:18
I was on a housing list, until my father moved to another studio flat (I was living with him in another studio flat beforehand) and was taken of the list, due to the address changing, I was on the list for a year and a half before I was taken off.
According to Citizen Advice, I need a source of income before I can consider getting my own place. So I need a job or sign up to get Job Seekers Allowance. I've not heard a response from the Job Centre, since signing up about two/three weeks ago.
Do you have a degree or any qualifications which would make it easier to get a job? It sounds hard man, but everyone has their own battle. You have to remember that nobody cares until you moan and moan, so when you say I haven't heard back from the job centre, does this mean they haven't called you? because in this world when you want something you have to be calling.
If it was me personally, I'd call them every 2 days and show them that you are in a tough situation and need things done quickly. People respond when you take time to nag them and nag them, but nicely, and a number of times.
Depending on your mental health problems, you may be entitled to disability benefits instead of Job Seekers. A job would definitely be the best option if you are able to find one though.
Could you maybe get some voluntary work, to at least get you out of the house a bit? Looks good on a CV too.
I think that working toward a job and moving out would be a good solution, and something positive to work toward.
Maybe take a look at the self esteem module of these online courses? I found self esteem had a lot to do with my anxiety and my relationships with others (including family members). Working on my self esteem really made me feel like a valuable person again http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm
Do you have a degree or any qualifications which would make it easier to get a job? It sounds hard man, but everyone has their own battle. You have to remember that nobody cares until you moan and moan, so when you say I haven't heard back from the job centre, does this mean they haven't called you? because in this world when you want something you have to be calling.
If it was me personally, I'd call them every 2 days and show them that you are in a tough situation and need things done quickly. People respond when you take time to nag them and nag them, but nicely, and a number of times.
I have a distinction in ICT, but sadly, that's not enough.
I've tried phoning them everyday, but never get through to them. Either they were busy or away. Sadly I can't just walk in, and ask to see someone.
Depending on your mental health problems, you may be entitled to disability benefits instead of Job Seekers. A job would definitely be the best option if you are able to find one though.
Could you maybe get some voluntary work, to at least get you out of the house a bit? Looks good on a CV too.
I think that working toward a job and moving out would be a good solution, and something positive to work toward.
I'm receiving Disability living allowance for A.D.H.D and Aspergers Syndrome.
Voluntary work could be helpful, but I'm not good around people. But at the same time, it would help for me to confront that problem.
Maybe take a look at the self esteem module of these online courses? I found self esteem had a lot to do with my anxiety and my relationships with others (including family members). Working on my self esteem really made me feel like a valuable person again http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm
I'll have to go see my GP and ask if they do something like that around here.
Thanks for the recommendation.
I have Asperger's too. It certainly makes life complicated!
I'm glad you're getting some income from DLA, but an out-of-work benefit (whether unemployment or disability) can sometimes entitle you to additional support with training or seeking employment.
As well as the CAB, the National Autistic Society might be able to give you some guidance on the most appropriate route for you and how to get there.
Some voluntary jobs do not involve a lot of contact with people - there is a lot other than working in a charity shop. But like you say, it might help you learn some more people-skills in a more relaxed environment, and also give you a track-record where prospective employers can see you are keen to work.
Anyway, I wish you luck in resolving your situation at home.
I have Asperger's too. It certainly makes life complicated!
I'm glad you're getting some income from DLA, but an out-of-work benefit (whether unemployment or disability) can sometimes entitle you to additional support with training or seeking employment.
As well as the CAB, the National Autistic Society might be able to give you some guidance on the most appropriate route for you and how to get there.
Some voluntary jobs do not involve a lot of contact with people - there is a lot other than working in a charity shop. But like you say, it might help you learn some more people-skills in a more relaxed environment, and also give you a track-record where prospective employers can see you are keen to work.
Anyway, I wish you luck in resolving your situation at home.
Thanks for all the advice.
With how delusional my father is, I can't change what happens at home, but I can at least change what happens outside the home.
Rachy-Rach
10-04-13, 14:13
You can't rely on the job centre to get to you a job. Getting a job will improve your confidence, give you a reason to get up in the morning, give you a sense of achievement, put money in your pocket, allow you meet new people, learn new skills, make new friends... the list is endless!
Get a job in Macdonalds if you have to but get a job. It will do wonders for your mental health. Just walk around your area and give out cvs to every place where people work! Honestly, one of my favourite ever jobs was cleaning bathrooms in a hostel because I got to work with such fun people.
And it's not enough to just hand out a CV, go back to these places every week so that they know you're serious about working there. And make sure you're presentable when asking for work.
In the mean time, do voluntary work. This looks great on your CV and has all the advantages that having a job does except the money element. If you can't find a voluntary organisation literally knock on doors and ask if people need their car washed of their garden tidied or help with whatever they might need help with. Don't ask for money, just do it and I promise you it will have a positive impact on your mental health.
And the lessons you learn you will be able to reflect on at interview and it will also help you to meet new people and discover the community in which you live.
You have control of this. Get out there and do it. You won't regret it.
Good luck x
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