Getting desperate

[lily413]

Hi everyone,

OK, this is a weird one. My HA fear is lymphoma, and a few weeks ago I read that someone had lymphoma in their chest which pushed their windpipe and foodpipe to one side. His symptoms were chest pains. I too have been having chest pains and I started to worry that was what I had. Almost immediately after reading this I started to notice that when I swallow food it feels like the food is going down the left side only and when I breathe it feels like my breath comes out more to the left side than the right. Food seemed to be getting a bit stuck on the way down, in the area between my collar bones I think. I went to the doctors who said I had acid reflux and I have now been in Lansoprazole for about 2 weeks. I have noticed some improvement with the food getting stuck and the chest pains have pretty much gone, but I am still completely obsessed by my breathing and swallowing. I've even got to the point where talking is horrible because I am hyper-aware of how my breath moves out of my mouth. It is absolute hell. Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences? I feel completely alone on this one as it is so weird and know if I go back to the doctor they won't understand. It would mean a lot just to know that someone doesn't think I've completely lost the plot.

Thanks for listening.

[Darbysa]

Hi Lily

I don't think you've lost the plot as this is very real to you. I do think that your mind has switched onto these symptoms because of what you've read. You have said yourself that the chest pain and swallowing issues have gone which does point towards acid reflux being the problem. I suffer with this from time to time and know what those chest pains feel like.

The lymphoma worries you have are making you more aware of your breathing. It really is very unlikely that you would have the same diagnosis as the man you read about. Just think about it - this started as soon as you read that article. Try not to fixate on it so much. I'm sure you are fine.

Hope you feel better soon.

Sal x

[rockydog]

Hi there, you haven't lost the plot you are jut over foccusing on one area. If you focused on any area, your mouth, eyes, stomach, hearing etc you would notice things that felt odd and unnatural. One period in my life i decided my hands weren't feeling right and that my fingers touched each other too much. As crazy as that sounds it really scared me I was aware of my fingers and how they moved at all times and i would wake up in the night with pins and needles in my hands (I'm nt sure what I thought wa actually wrong with them) and I can't remember how I got over it. But I do know it was the start of me focusing and obssessing about different parts of my body, but once you realise it is moving round your body ... you start to doubt how real it is ;)
I have had a spell of noticing swallowing and breathing and at one point I didnt like asking for things in a shop in case i couldnt speak. But then you realise that you can always breathe in your sleep and actually quite often the symptoms you are creating actually are not even a symptom of the condition you fear. You just develop things you think can be remotely linked.
You say the guy has chest pain ... well so do most of us with indigestion or muscles cramps, but it's far more scary to link your chest pains to his condition rather than someone who has indigestion. :)
I have had symptoms I am so sure are completely real and sometimes thats all i could think about, even when pretending to watch tv I would be sitting obssessing about my pain. Then I would see a doctor or a medical professional friend would completely dismiss the seriousness of the pain and it would vanish within an hour ot two!!

I could list hundreds of symptoms I have had in the past and at the time they were very real and frightening and some of the time they were real just not life threatening like i had decided they were lol :) take care x

[lily413]

Thank you so much Darbysa (my real name is also Sal! I've never met any other Sal's. How strange!) and rockydog for your kind and thorough replies. I actually feel quite overwhelmed at your kindness and am relieved that I am not the only one! rockydog, when reading your comment about your fingers I remembered that for a while I was completely fixated on my ribs and I actually thought my arms were resting against them more than they used to, thinking that there must be swelling (tumors!) or something under them making them stick out more (obviously my ribs hadn't changed, I was just thinking about them A LOT more than I used to!) It's so silly when you think about in perspective! I dread to think what someone without HA would think if they read these posts! Haha! (You have to laugh). I really hope this passes soon. No doubt it'll be because I've started obsessing over a new symptom..

Thanks again :)

[rockydog]

Glad you liked it :) there will hopefully come a time when you think hang on a minute i have "had" 6 life threatening conditions in the last 2 years! this can't be right. I am going to be ok, this is just my anxiety talking.
You cant waste your life fearing all these conditions, because yes its very possible you will develop something, sometime just like everyone else alive ;) Don't waste your well years waiting though. Take care xx

---------- Post added at 12:40 ---------- Previous post was at 12:39 ----------

P.S I didn't mean that to sound harsh x