View Full Version : feeling like a fraud
spottitchsam
08-04-13, 16:26
Hi guys last week I posted on this site to say I was feeling fantastic,well it didn't last long.for the last few days I have started to get that anxious feeling when I wake up and I could easily let it go into a panic attack.I did go out for a couple of days out last week with our granddaughter so I think I might have worn myself out.I have got a appointment tomorrow morning with my gp and I have my 1st appointment with the cbt in the afternoon.before I boast about my feelings again I will make sure I have been well for about 6 months/year.I don't want to give people false hope.
I hope everyone is coping well with this LITTLE MONSTER.Sorry BIG MONSTERS.xxxx
Hi don't feel a fraud, the good days no matter how short should be boasted about. Feeling the way we do helps us to appreciate them so much more. You will feel better again!
I hope your doctors appointment and CBT goes well :hugs:
Feel exactly the same as you right now. I've had a good 2 weeks from 3 horrible months of a breakdown and yesterday was my best day yet. Went out with a mate first time in a long time.
Today I woke up feeling absolutely terrible. Exhausted, anxious, weak, depersonalised. achey etc.
Snoodlester
08-04-13, 19:33
I'm also feeling a bit of a fraud. I've been signed off work for a couple of weeks and up until about mid-morning today I felt dreadful. But then I had a shower, got dressed and had lunch and I'm starting to feel 'normal'. It feels strange as I haven't felt like this for a long time. It's making me feel like, perhaps I should be at work if I feel ok, but then again I don't want to risk a relapse which is what happened last time.
Hope everything goes well.
Sue x
spottitchsam
08-04-13, 19:48
Hi don't feel a fraud, the good days no matter how short should be boasted about. Feeling the way we do helps us to appreciate them so much more. You will feel better again!
I hope your doctors appointment and CBT goes well :hugs:
Bekzie,thankyou fingers crossed I should start getting better after I've spoken to gp and cbt person.I have not got anything planned for after tomorrow so hopefully I will be able to rest for a few days.x
Don't feel bad at all Jean, it's nice to hear when people are feeling better, however transient it is because it gives us all hope.
Like you Sue, I've been signed off work for 5 weeks today and I immediately came home and thought 'oh I actually feel a bit better' which progressed to thinking I will go back as soon as I can, which I've also done before and relapsed.
Onwards and upwards girls
:hugs: Sam
You weren't boasting about your feelings, I feel you were factual. We all know how up and down it can be fighting all these darned monsters, they come in all shapes and sizes and are not welcome are they?
spottitchsam
08-04-13, 20:49
Feel exactly the same as you right now. I've had a good 2 weeks from 3 horrible months of a breakdown and yesterday was my best day yet. Went out with a mate first time in a long time.
Today I woke up feeling absolutely terrible. Exhausted, anxious, weak, depersonalised. achey etc.
Steveo,it does pick it's time to attack,we just begin to get our life back and wham.I'm having 2nd thoughts about touring Scotland next month.I will be on my own for a couple of hours every day for 2 weeks,in a strange place and if I panic there will be no one around.hope you are feeling a little bit better now.take care.x
---------- Post added at 20:30 ---------- Previous post was at 20:21 ----------
I'm also feeling a bit of a fraud. I've been signed off work for a couple of weeks and up until about mid-morning today I felt dreadful. But then I had a shower, got dressed and had lunch and I'm starting to feel 'normal'. It feels strange as I haven't felt like this for a long time. It's making me feel like, perhaps I should be at work if I feel ok, but then again I don't want to risk a relapse which is what happened last time.
Hope everything goes well.
Sue x
Snoodlester,I think it does cheer you up when you can manage to have a bath/shower but I have to rely on my husband due to my disability.I think if you have 2weeks break and you feel fine after you may be able to cope better.if you go back to soon and you were not ready it might set you back even more.I hope that you have had a good day.x
---------- Post added at 20:37 ---------- Previous post was at 20:30 ----------
Don't feel bad at all Jean, it's nice to hear when people are feeling better, however transient it is because it gives us all hope.
Like you Sue, I've been signed off work for 5 weeks today and I immediately came home and thought 'oh I actually feel a bit better' which progressed to thinking I will go back as soon as I can, which I've also done before and relapsed.
Onwards and upwards girls
:hugs: Sam
Tufty thankyou but me blowing my trumpet by saying I'm on top of the world last week is a bit of a downer now.x
---------- Post added at 20:49 ---------- Previous post was at 20:37 ----------
You weren't boasting about your feelings, I feel you were factual. We all know how up and down it can be fighting all these darned monsters, they come in all shapes and sizes and are not welcome are they?
Tessar thankyou but I think I might hold back next time.God they have got a hold WHY don't they JUST LEAVE US ALONE.take care x
Jean I had days last week when I felt on top of the world and really calm. Today I have been quite tearful and anxious. Like you I told people how good I was feeling. You are not a fraud..it is the truth and it is good to hear about peoples good days. We will get little blips and feel down and anxious again but hopefully (and I am sure we will) have many more good days. We need to share our good and bad :D xxx
spottitchsam
08-04-13, 21:13
Jean I had days last week when I felt on top of the world and really calm. Today I have been quite tearful and anxious. Like you I told people how good I was feeling. You are not a fraud..it is the truth and it is good to hear about peoples good days. We will get little blips and feel down and anxious again but hopefully (and I am sure we will) have many more good days. We need to share our good and bad :D xxx
Annie thank you I know that you and all the others are right but I don't like to think other people don't like me because I felt better than others.Sorry can't word it right but hopefully you get what I mean.xxx hope you are feeling a little bit better now.
AW, you don't need to feel bad for feeling good! Relish it and be proud of it and use it as your hope and strength for the future - you have felt good in teh past so therefore you can feel good again. I don't think anyone reading about your good times would feel bad, they would take it as strength that they themselves can feel like that too. Let the guilt go adn see it for what it was - you felt great and positive and you wanted to share it with teh world. What a wonderful way to feel and it's something to be proud of. Give that person, that happy you, the credit they deserve. Don't be so hard on yourself hun xx
Sharonthesweet
09-04-13, 06:42
Going through something similar i always feel guilty about everything...what you said made me feel a bit better thank you!
How are you today Jean? sending you hugs :hugs::hugs:
Hope your appointments went well :hugs:
spottitchsam
09-04-13, 15:50
AW, you don't need to feel bad for feeling good! Relish it and be proud of it and use it as your hope and strength for the future - you have felt good in teh past so therefore you can feel good again. I don't think anyone reading about your good times would feel bad, they would take it as strength that they themselves can feel like that too. Let the guilt go adn see it for what it was - you felt great and positive and you wanted to share it with teh world. What a wonderful way to feel and it's something to be proud of. Give that person, that happy you, the credit they deserve. Don't be so hard on yourself hun xx
Lilharry,thankyou I have just got back from my 1st cbt and fingers crossed the good days are just round the corner.if they can sort out my abuse problem from 52years ago I will be well chuffed.they even said that I should feel strong enough to start socialising with my husband again.after 10+ year's of not going out as a couple it will feel like that we are back to our courting days.x
---------- Post added at 15:44 ---------- Previous post was at 15:42 ----------
Going through something similar i always feel guilty about everything...what you said made me feel a bit better thank you!
Hi Sharonthesweet,it makes you feel "normal" when you can compare with someone else.x
---------- Post added at 15:50 ---------- Previous post was at 15:44 ----------
How are you today Jean? sending you hugs :hugs::hugs:
Hi Annie,feeling a bit drained now I have had my cbt appointment,but she seems very happy that the gentleman I'm seeing as from next week will be able to help me to recover from my past.when I told my husband what I had said to her and the reply I got made sense when we thought about it.
Well, this week I am reaping the benefits of working hard at changing things. I have already had past experiences of the ups and downs of recovery so I know that whilst I may have a few up days, it is entirely possible that something could potentially change that.
It does feel like I am anticipating something going wrong (as many times I have had really good days and then bang, something happens). But and it is a big and very important but..... Just because I have that fear in the back of my mind, it doesn't mean that anything will go wrong. It might just stay good and the harder I work at it the more likely it is to stay that way.
So, for now at least , I am succeeding at taming my monsters... Little buggers they are. Oops, no I mean BIG ones. Kick them into touch everyone, tell them they are not welcome, they never were and never will be.
spottitchsam
09-04-13, 21:25
Well, this week I am reaping the benefits of working hard at changing things. I have already had past experiences of the ups and downs of recovery so I know that whilst I may have a few up days, it is entirely possible that something could potentially change that.
It does feel like I am anticipating something going wrong (as many times I have had really good days and then bang, something happens). But and it is a big and very important but..... Just because I have that fear in the back of my mind, it doesn't mean that anything will go wrong. It might just stay good and the harder I work at it the more likely it is to stay that way.
So, for now at least , I am succeeding at taming my monsters... Little buggers they are. Oops, no I mean BIG ones. Kick them into touch everyone, tell them they are not welcome, they never were and never will be.
Hi Tessar,I feel the same things seem to be on a high for a few days and you are just waiting for the fall.I was on a high a couple of weeks ago then I had a slide for about 4/5 days but today I have not been to bad.been to see a cbt person today and it sounds promising.do you think if we all held hands together and shouted at them the buggers would sod off and leave us all alone.x
Keep up the fight Jean, you can do it...............
.do you think if we all held hands together and shouted at them the buggers would sod off and leave us all alone.x
I do like that idea.... Maybe we will all get online at the same time in the chat room and shout at them in unison......
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spottitchsam
10-04-13, 22:32
Keep up the fight Jean, you can do it...............
Hi BobbyDog I'm going to have to buy some boxing gloves so I can hit the buggers where it hurts.anybody want to join me.xx
---------- Post added at 22:32 ---------- Previous post was at 22:25 ----------
I do like that idea.... Maybe we will all get online at the same time in the chat room and shout at them in unison......
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Tessar do you want to join my gang,I've just told BobbyDog I was going to buy some boxing gloves so I could hit the buggers where it would hurt.but I suppose we could all shout at them first then jump on them and bash them to pulp.x
Im not usually a bully and I don't like to upset people but these are MONSTERS.
I am definitely in on that gang!!!!!
I feel rubbish today as I have a cold. Just another one of life's little downs and the only good thong (oops thing) to come out of it is that I know in a few days I will be feeling better again..... Meanwhile I am still gonna keep the fight up against those monsters.
Boxing gloves are good insomuch they protect our delicate hands, but we can put spikes on the outside so they pack a good, sharp punch!!! Ooh, I sound a bit violent, but I'm not really, just where monsters are concerned.
spottitchsam
13-04-13, 16:16
I am definitely in on that gang!!!!!
I feel rubbish today as I have a cold. Just another one of life's little downs and the only good thong (oops thing) to come out of it is that I know in a few days I will be feeling better again..... Meanwhile I am still gonna keep the fight up against those monsters.
Boxing gloves are good insomuch they protect our delicate hands, but we can put spikes on the outside so they pack a good, sharp punch!!! Ooh, I sound a bit violent, but I'm not really, just where monsters are concerned.
Tessar your in.I hope you don't suffer to much with your cold and as you have said you know in a few days time you will be feeling better.great idea about the spikes.sending hugs to you and get well soon.xxx
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