Wasting time?

[Snoodlester]

My original anxiety is with driving. I live in Bristol and my parents live in Weston-super-Mare which is too far for me drive, so dad comes and picks me up. My recent crises has left me feeling unable to cope on my own, it's made me feel very alone and isolated, and unbelievably anxious at night when I can't sleep and feel I need to have someone else in the house 'just in case I need them'. Because of this, I've been signed off work a couple of times and I've been staying at my parents where I feel safe during the night.

I'm due to be made redundant on 19th April, and I know I need to look for work but I don't know what to do. I need to face going back home to see if I can cope, but I know this will be made worse when I haven't got a job. I've been looking what jobs are out there, but I haven't applied for anything. I'm worried that when I go back to Bristol I won't be able to cope on my own, and I'll have to be signed off sick again. I've lost all my confidence.

When I'm with my parents I feel safe and although I don't sleep, I can at least get some rest and I'm able to get on with things during the day, so feel I could get a job, but when I'm at home I'm anxious all the time, I can't sleep and feel exhausted, tired and eventually physically ill and unable to cope during the day.

It's clear I can't stay with my brother an his family, and I'm disappointed with his lack of caring. I do have an extremely good friend and she has said that I can sleep on her couch, but I don't think I'm able to do this and it's certainly not a long-term solution.

I'm feeling really worried that I'm wasting valuable time, by not looking for another job but equally don't want to risk a relapse or muck people about. It just feels that if I could find somewhere I could stay in Bristol with other people around this would all go away.

Sue x

[Rachy-Rach]

If you're coping at your parents can you look for work there to build your confidence before you go back to Bristol? There seems little point in you going there to deteriorate when you cope better at the moment at your parents. Is this an option?

[Snoodlester]

Thanks Rachy. I have been thinking about this option, but fee like I'm going backwards, but at the moment I think it's the only thing I can do. Sue x

[Lost2010]

I'm not sure if this is an option but could you find a place near your parents house? That way you would hopefully feel a bit better as you know it wouldn't be too far to drive if you did want to be with someone but you wouldn't feel like you'd gone too far backwards?

I moved back in with family a few years ago because I was having trouble coping and I'm now at the stage where I really need to have my own place (very close by!) so I can try and practice being more independent etc. Unfortunately, even though I work it's just not financial viable at the moment so in a bit of a catch-22.

If you can retain as much independence as possible but still find a way that you're more comfortable and able to cope I'm sure you'll regain your confidence

[Edie]

It's inevitable that moving back in with your parents would feel like a backward step, but if it could help you recover then maybe you can see it as a step toward re-gaining your independence.