View Full Version : Making peace with my Fears
Hey guys
This is a tad difficult and i might not be posting in the right forum page and for this i appologise...
Right I have started seeing a lovely man in the hope of getting my head in the right place, he was from our local mental health office, he gives you a mini interview/meting type thing then reports back on you to his superiors and then i'll find out whether they think whether CBT or Councilling would suit me.
We as some of you my Dr diagnosed me with GAD/Health Anxiety which was sparked by several deaths around me. It made me question my own mortality..Every twinge became the worst posible out come.. be it cancer, annurism, etc... inducing Fear and major panic. Id never been like this before and felt quite strong in myself, but after the birth of my daughter who is now 9mths id struggled abit but plodded on, feeling like i couldnt stop doing all i was before, with my other daughter. The House, looking after the family, etc...
Any way i digress, the man i saw said that part of the treatment progress would hopefully see me making peace with my fears... this i find highly unlikely... HOW??? How on earth will you make peace with dying... how can you not fear passing on, the finality of it all. The no - More. The not seeing your loved ones, your family.... This is such a big question that i really cannot see how im ever going to get over it...HELP!!!!!
footballking
11-04-13, 22:59
I'm having a hard time dealing with this also. God help us all. I would prefer to break my leg than have this. Are you on any medication?
Not currently taking meds for anxiety. I do have zopiclone for sleep but havent had to use them for a few nights. I have been trying some of the tequniques that i was shown by a grief councillor/holistic healer but this is a private service and its costing me £35 a session. I see her one more time tomorrow night and im pooping myself as i cant afford to see her again for awhile... im hoping te mental health team come through asap....
How about you?? xx
Absoloutly.... I couldnt agree more.... How can we make peace with the thought of dying... when that is the ONE thing that we are petrified of... Im in constant fear of dying... the thought of never seeing my family or my little boy ever again... and like you every single twinge ache or pain is something serious like a life threatening disease... I have numerous little things going on with me at the moment... a rash caused by a allergy... tummy ache, my feet feel funny.... any rational person would not think of it and get on... but i find myself obsessivly thinking about it... obsessing il never get better... il be like this forever... im 27 and 5 years ago before this all started i was a bubbly happy outgoing girl with not a care in the world... now its ruining my life... i hide it all every day from my collegues and my partner... its horrible... i have mirtazapine to take but i havent taken them... they worked wonders before when i was last on them ( been meds free for a year as i was anxiety free ) but suddenly its all come back since january this year...
i worry about my little boy... what would he do if i wasnt around... i cant bare the thought of me not seeing him grow up... it makes me feel sick thinking about it and i can feel myself getting anxious just thinking of it...
i wish there was a miracle cure and we could just snap out of it... i agree with footballking.... id rather break a leg or a arm or even be bloody jobless than have this every single day....
Cxxx
Hi Carly
I can completely understand you. Its such a horrid feeling :'( hopefully someday we really can find a way of dealing withit. im like you i hid it all until a few weeks back when i just couldnt anymore. My friend asked me if i was ok and i just broke, im so glad i did, its set me on this path im now on... im hoping above hopes that there is a way that i can find my peace. :bighug1: xx
starlight78
12-04-13, 21:45
Stick with the sessions and I think you will surprise yourself. It's about acceptance of the uncertainty of death. I was totally obsessed with fear of death when I was 25-26. I can honestly say the thought of it doesn't scare me or obsess me now. I found reading Susan Jeffers 'embracing uncertainty' really helpful. Also treating my depression with A/D and CBT. Hugs x x
---------- Post added at 21:45 ---------- Previous post was at 21:42 ----------
Oooh and I've just remembered saying to CBT therapist at the start, 'but how can you ever get over the fear of death, it's not possible' exactly what you are saying now! And I did, that was a decade ago and it's barely crossed my mind and when it does I don't feel upset or scared at all!
There are many people who approaching death come to a great peace. The dropping away of fear of death is the ultimate and I know it is possible from many reports from others.
There are some who say that all fear stems from the fear of loss of self. After all the mind works through the filter of "me" and fear is a protection mechanism. See through the fear of death and psychological fear drops away... apparently :)
footballking
13-04-13, 01:17
It's true you have to be willing to die for anxiety to leave you. That basically means, saying **** it if you have a heart attack or stroke or whatever. Damn, some people make this realisation and get free from anxiety forever.
nomorepanic
13-04-13, 01:22
Footballking - I completely disagree with you and I know you are in a bad place at the moment but we have all been there.
I have read your posts saying you want to kill yourself and disagreeing with me that exercise helps.
I have had a heart attack as you probably know and I do not post on here all the time moaning about my shortened lifespan and how I feel and how it effects me.
Sometimes we have to just get on with living !
footballking
13-04-13, 01:31
Footballking - I completely disagree with you and I know you are in a bad place at the moment but we have all been there.
I have read your posts saying you want to kill yourself and disagreeing with me that exercise helps.
I have had a heart attack as you probably know and I do not post on here all the time moaning about my shortened lifespan and how I feel and how it effects me.
Sometimes we have to just get on with living !
When I said you have to be willing to die. I didn't mean it literally. I meant it in the sense that, you have to be willing to live a life of uncertainty. I am sorry if you took it any other way.
I think being scared by death is the very reason why you should let the fear go. There is no point being anxious about something that is inevitable, so living a life free from fear of death is really the only helpful option, otherwise you're not really living. I try to see myself at the end of my days and think, would I rather have had a life where I got on with living or a life where I was constantly afraid of death? The other thing I think about is that death can't be that scary. I mean we didn't exist before we were born, so why would being dead be any different? I don't look back on the time before I was born as a scary time.
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." - Buddha
I just saw this post and I know it has been over a week, but wanted to say to the original poster that it is possible to make peace with death.
After I lost my mom two years ago, I have been in a long struggle with making peace with death and the finality. I still haven't made sense of it. I have gotten a lot of therapy, done a lot of self-help, and also gone on lexapro for depression and anxiety and I have to say I am much better than I was. It is possible.
I wouldn't say I am totally at peace, as the thoughts still come once in a while, but I don't go about my daily life anymore with this heavy thought about death, when will it happen, what will it be like, there is nothing after, etc. I feel more distant from my fear now.
You can do it, it takes time and a lot of work:hugs:
Thanks swgirl. In feeling much more positive at the mo.
I hope you are ok.
Hugs. Xxx
Stick with the sessions and I think you will surprise yourself. It's about acceptance of the uncertainty of death. I was totally obsessed with fear of death when I was 25-26. I can honestly say the thought of it doesn't scare me or obsess me now. I found reading Susan Jeffers 'embracing uncertainty' really helpful. Also treating my depression with A/D and CBT. Hugs x x
---------- Post added at 21:45 ---------- Previous post was at 21:42 ----------
Oooh and I've just remembered saying to CBT therapist at the start, 'but how can you ever get over the fear of death, it's not possible' exactly what you are saying now! And I did, that was a decade ago and it's barely crossed my mind and when it does I don't feel upset or scared at all!my panic attacks began in 1969 i was about 12 yrs old i had the fear of death and even though my panic and anxiety liffted but never left i married had 7 children that was my life all grown and gone now been agraphobic a few times but cud go out with family members but these past 10yrs have been so bad in fact the last three i am not even able to go out with any one i am home all the time and yeah the fear of death still verey much incontrol of my life well if you can call sitting home in fear of dying living would you pm me and give me some insight to how long you was this way and how you won yr battle please thanks take care trish x
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