Can't believe I still feel this way...

[Apple81]

Hi all,

Thought I'd been doing much better (am on fluoexetine and seeing a private therapist - which is helping) but am in the middle of a bad episode and don't know how to get myself out of it.

My worries normally centre around my boobs - bits of dry skin, nipple issues, spots etc - but am worried I've found a lump in my left breast. It feels smooth and moveable - I think - but the thing is I'm not even sure it is a lump. I was worried that my right breast was too lumpy last weekend and spend a long time pinching and poking my left breast to check it felt the same. I've managed to badly bruise my left breast 'checking' it and it really hurts. So, now I'm worried I've actually done some proper damage to myself.

The thing is, if I run my hands over it I can't really feel anything. It's only when I kind of grip or pinch at my breast that I can feel the lump. Am really scared it's something horrible. Have booked a GP appointment for a week on Mon to go over my prescription and I'm going to ask her to examine my breasts for me (last had them examined end of Jan - and they were fine) but I'm just so worried I'm going to start going back into old behaviours.

[Munchlet]

Hi Apple

I can relate to your post so much, I've lost count the amount of times I've got doctors to check my breasts.

I think what us Ha's need to bear in mind is even women who don't have HA fear breast cancer. I read an article that said so many women were inteviewed and they all said BC was their biggest fear but in fact it kills far less women per year than heart attacks, strokes etc.

Having said that it is probably my no 1 health concern. I constantly get dry patches, pink marks on my boobs and I have spider veins on them (which sent me into a panic earlier today) but I've had them years.

If you've recently had them checked I am sure you are fine. Please try and stop prodding them, I've done it myself and you prod and poke so much you start to feel things that are actually normal but you start thinking they are not and in order to bruise yourself you are pressing too hard.

I was told that for a breast exam you use the palm of your hand, not your finger tips as you will find lumps if you use finger tips and press in. If
you can't feel anything by using the palms of your hands and lightly pressing then I don't think it's a true lump and it's probably just your breast tissue you are feeling.

I honestly do know this because I've done it myself so many times and even now if I push in I can feel lumps but they always describe breasts as feeling bumpy but lumps that you need to be concerned about stand out from the rest, you shouldn't have to go proddding and poking to find them.

Please try and stop, go and get them checked again for peace of mind but I'm sure they are fine and you are just prodding normal tissue.

Also when you go take note of the doctor who does your breast exam and see how gently they feel, I'm always amazed how gentle they are compared to when I do my own breast checks, but they obviously know how to do them and realise that just gentle feeling will detect abnormalities.

Take care xx

[Apple81]

Thanks Munchlet x

You're right. I constantly get red marks/patches/spider veins and such like too. Which never used to make me worry until I had my 'first' scare last year and I hit Google furiously. Which was stupid!

My partner had a feel for me this afternoon and said he really can't feel anything there. There IS something - but I can only feel it if I pinch or roll the flesh around between my fingers. Which hurts me more. Am going to try and keep my mitts off them and let the GP examine them.

---------- Post added at 23:47 ---------- Previous post was at 21:53 ----------

Was lifting my left breast up to apply cream and I could feel it - it's where the bruise is; which is just smaller than the palm of my hand. There's tissue on the other breast, in the same place, that feels similar but not as swollen or moveable. Am really scared.

[footballking]

Thanks Munchlet x

You're right. I constantly get red marks/patches/spider veins and such like too. Which never used to make me worry until I had my 'first' scare last year and I hit Google furiously. Which was stupid!

My partner had a feel for me this afternoon and said he really can't feel anything there. There IS something - but I can only feel it if I pinch or roll the flesh around between my fingers. Which hurts me more. Am going to try and keep my mitts off them and let the GP examine them.

---------- Post added at 23:47 ---------- Previous post was at 21:53 ----------

Was lifting my left breast up to apply cream and I could feel it - it's where the bruise is; which is just smaller than the palm of my hand. There's tissue on the other breast, in the same place, that feels similar but not as swollen or moveable. Am really scared.

Don't worry too much about it, you are probably very young. I had a bump on my right chest. Turned out to be a bigger bone when I made a big deal and had a CT scan.

[Apple81]

I'm 31. So, still young I guess!

Have not had a good day really. Keep worrying about it and poking it and poking the other breast to see if it matches. There's definately some sort of lump there - swollen tissue? I don't know. There's tissue in the same place on the other side but it doesn't feel anywhere near as big and this lump's underneath the bruise. Am just so scared it's actually cancer. My GP appointment is in a weeks time and I don't know how I'm going to last that long.