NE21 worrier
14-04-13, 17:05
Hello everyone,
Apologies for the long post but today has been really horrible. Not only have my beloved Newcastle United been thrashed 3-0 at home against the mackems but I have continued to struggle badly and noticeably with my panic disorder.
For years, the derby match made me nervous in the 'normal' sense of the word - even before I guess I suffered from this panic - but this morning I woke straight away with a pit of the stomach feeling and horrible pain in the sternum/chest. It felt almost as if my body did not even give me a chance to decide whether I was going to be anxious today or not - as silly as that sounds. That was it: I was just anxious as soon as I woke up.
Somehow, despite gagging and almost being ill, I managed a banana and a cup of tea for breakfast - but I've had only a Snickers bar since and felt very lightheaded/wobbly legs all day. My friend with whom I attend the match is aware of my issues and could tell I was having a bad day of it.
I am on my 13th day of 50mg Sertraline but I have yet to take today's dose as, on Friday, I switched to taking them in the evening due to their propensity to knock me to sleep. Today, though, I also took 2x2mg Diazepam (a crutch, I know) at the match, just before kick-off.
The 3-0 defeat I can and will get over (eventually...) but, as I lay here exhausted now on my bed, I just cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to my panic. It just feels as if my body's natural response to absolutely any stress or unusual event (from a change at work (from which I have been signed off for six weeks) to travelling away, from eating out at a restaurant in town to a wedding or stag do) is PANIC! and I don't have the answers within me to solve it.
I should add at least that the GP has referred me for CBT sessions (yet TBA) but I also did some of these last year (without medication) and obviously did not practice the coping techniques enough as I just cannot do them. Also, I don't just want to 'cope' in life, I want to live my life properly. It just feels as if I've just forgotten to do so :wacko:
Apologies for the long post but today has been really horrible. Not only have my beloved Newcastle United been thrashed 3-0 at home against the mackems but I have continued to struggle badly and noticeably with my panic disorder.
For years, the derby match made me nervous in the 'normal' sense of the word - even before I guess I suffered from this panic - but this morning I woke straight away with a pit of the stomach feeling and horrible pain in the sternum/chest. It felt almost as if my body did not even give me a chance to decide whether I was going to be anxious today or not - as silly as that sounds. That was it: I was just anxious as soon as I woke up.
Somehow, despite gagging and almost being ill, I managed a banana and a cup of tea for breakfast - but I've had only a Snickers bar since and felt very lightheaded/wobbly legs all day. My friend with whom I attend the match is aware of my issues and could tell I was having a bad day of it.
I am on my 13th day of 50mg Sertraline but I have yet to take today's dose as, on Friday, I switched to taking them in the evening due to their propensity to knock me to sleep. Today, though, I also took 2x2mg Diazepam (a crutch, I know) at the match, just before kick-off.
The 3-0 defeat I can and will get over (eventually...) but, as I lay here exhausted now on my bed, I just cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to my panic. It just feels as if my body's natural response to absolutely any stress or unusual event (from a change at work (from which I have been signed off for six weeks) to travelling away, from eating out at a restaurant in town to a wedding or stag do) is PANIC! and I don't have the answers within me to solve it.
I should add at least that the GP has referred me for CBT sessions (yet TBA) but I also did some of these last year (without medication) and obviously did not practice the coping techniques enough as I just cannot do them. Also, I don't just want to 'cope' in life, I want to live my life properly. It just feels as if I've just forgotten to do so :wacko: