Oatcake
16-04-13, 19:37
Those of you who know my story will know that I'm a teacher, and I've been off work since the end of February after hitting the point of no return with my GAD. The instigator in this case was the Head of my school refusing to support me with my class who are approximate 75% special needs pupils, and my eventual meltdown.
I've got two weeks left on my sick note from the GP, and I went in to review it a fortnight ago feeling so much better. My GP couldn't get over how things had turned around for me. I was laughing and smiling, and even able to discuss the CBT4Panic programme with her like a marketing exec, despite only having been on it for a week.
One of my outside interests is coaching a voluntary dance and gym group for teenagers. Usually three volunteers, myself and two other girls, run it, but tonight, there was only myself and one other. She became involved in the kind of arguments which only teenage girls can have (You know the sort :roflmao:) which required her to physically remove five of them from the hall, and left me in charge of the other 20 teenagers. I fell to pieces in minutes. These girls are quite streetwise, and were immediately all over me. It was like they sussed I had a weaknesss and went in for the kill. I tried to get the other adult for help, but she was trying to keep her angsty group from killing each other. It was horrible.
This has pretty much convinced me that I am definitely not in any state to go back yet. If I can't deal with 20 girls for 90 minutes, I would be a liability to both myself and a class of 30 young kids. I've booked an appointment with another GP for next week using the online booking system. I have no idea what she'll say, because my notes from the last visit are bound to be along the lines of "Patient recovered". Tonight I intend to drink my freshly purchased bottle of wine and try to forget the events of the evening. Back to the CBT with a vengeance tomorrow.
I know there's nothing you guys can particularly do to help me - I just needed a safe environment to scream, lol.
I've got two weeks left on my sick note from the GP, and I went in to review it a fortnight ago feeling so much better. My GP couldn't get over how things had turned around for me. I was laughing and smiling, and even able to discuss the CBT4Panic programme with her like a marketing exec, despite only having been on it for a week.
One of my outside interests is coaching a voluntary dance and gym group for teenagers. Usually three volunteers, myself and two other girls, run it, but tonight, there was only myself and one other. She became involved in the kind of arguments which only teenage girls can have (You know the sort :roflmao:) which required her to physically remove five of them from the hall, and left me in charge of the other 20 teenagers. I fell to pieces in minutes. These girls are quite streetwise, and were immediately all over me. It was like they sussed I had a weaknesss and went in for the kill. I tried to get the other adult for help, but she was trying to keep her angsty group from killing each other. It was horrible.
This has pretty much convinced me that I am definitely not in any state to go back yet. If I can't deal with 20 girls for 90 minutes, I would be a liability to both myself and a class of 30 young kids. I've booked an appointment with another GP for next week using the online booking system. I have no idea what she'll say, because my notes from the last visit are bound to be along the lines of "Patient recovered". Tonight I intend to drink my freshly purchased bottle of wine and try to forget the events of the evening. Back to the CBT with a vengeance tomorrow.
I know there's nothing you guys can particularly do to help me - I just needed a safe environment to scream, lol.