LongingForSunrise
17-04-13, 00:38
Hi!
I wonder if anyone else check their pulse? I can do it like 50 times in an hour, I get really obsessed. And so I know that the heart beat changes A LOT during the day and activity. It's amazing how many different things it does depending on what you do.
I am extremely scared of heart conditions. Just before I got my first panic attack, my girlfriends father died of a heart attack. And the day before that I had been to the dentist, taking care of teeth while under narcosis. This freaked my out before I got some diazepam. I was scared I wouldn't wake up and that's probably my first panic attack (which I didn't understand as much more than fear).
I had bit of three teeth in a week and was extremely scared of having an infection, but I couldn't let them do their thing in my roots. No way. I didn't get any infection, but I had begun a routine of checking my pulse. And I started to think about the fact that it was my life. Like, the heart beats represented something that keeps my alive. And I think that scared me a lot.
Anyhow, I'm afraid of a lot of heart conditions. Most of them are rare heart conditions and I do feel some weird sensations sometimes, I try to not think about it. But that's very hard to achieve.
I've had 5 different doctors telling me the same thing: You're absolutely fine. But I wanna do every TEST known to men, to make sure - ALL is ok. And I even mountain bike, HARD. I go all in and it's the only time I don't feel scared, but once I've done it I'm trembling inside. I train despite my fear, it's hard. But this safety behaviour I have, checking my pulse, is making me stay in this cycle of shit.
I have the very BAD LUCK of also having a problem with my left shoulder and slightly to the left part of the spinal cord. The muscles around it sometimes contract, which of course doesn't make me feel any safer. Very unfortunate, because it may hurt my chest bone as well as my left arm. And we all know what that is a sign of, however, in my case it's not a sign of a heart condition. Bad luck indeed, to have that and health anxiety focused on heart conditions. It's :roflmao:
Anyone have the same thing? Checking pulse, being EXTREMELY aware of the pulse and so forth? I can feel my pulse everywhere.
I wonder if anyone else check their pulse? I can do it like 50 times in an hour, I get really obsessed. And so I know that the heart beat changes A LOT during the day and activity. It's amazing how many different things it does depending on what you do.
I am extremely scared of heart conditions. Just before I got my first panic attack, my girlfriends father died of a heart attack. And the day before that I had been to the dentist, taking care of teeth while under narcosis. This freaked my out before I got some diazepam. I was scared I wouldn't wake up and that's probably my first panic attack (which I didn't understand as much more than fear).
I had bit of three teeth in a week and was extremely scared of having an infection, but I couldn't let them do their thing in my roots. No way. I didn't get any infection, but I had begun a routine of checking my pulse. And I started to think about the fact that it was my life. Like, the heart beats represented something that keeps my alive. And I think that scared me a lot.
Anyhow, I'm afraid of a lot of heart conditions. Most of them are rare heart conditions and I do feel some weird sensations sometimes, I try to not think about it. But that's very hard to achieve.
I've had 5 different doctors telling me the same thing: You're absolutely fine. But I wanna do every TEST known to men, to make sure - ALL is ok. And I even mountain bike, HARD. I go all in and it's the only time I don't feel scared, but once I've done it I'm trembling inside. I train despite my fear, it's hard. But this safety behaviour I have, checking my pulse, is making me stay in this cycle of shit.
I have the very BAD LUCK of also having a problem with my left shoulder and slightly to the left part of the spinal cord. The muscles around it sometimes contract, which of course doesn't make me feel any safer. Very unfortunate, because it may hurt my chest bone as well as my left arm. And we all know what that is a sign of, however, in my case it's not a sign of a heart condition. Bad luck indeed, to have that and health anxiety focused on heart conditions. It's :roflmao:
Anyone have the same thing? Checking pulse, being EXTREMELY aware of the pulse and so forth? I can feel my pulse everywhere.