In constant fear but giving up!

[lisak789]

I have had the worst year and a half! My heath anxiety is out of control. I dont know the difference between a real symptom anymore or if it is just my health anxiety. I have had so many tests blood tests, chest ct scan, lots of ultrasounds, x rays a colonoscopy, the list goes on and on...
Now for the last few nights I have been having night sweats, I have had appitite loss, a general sick feeling in my tummy and I can get itchy. I am sure its lymphoma, or something serious... I had my colonoscpy and abdomal ultrasound two weeks ago. I had tons of blood work about a month ago, would something show up? some sites say cancer will show up in blood work others say they wont. I am exhausted with worrying. I need some good advice please or tests you feel I should ask for.


Thank you

[lozzie02]

Hi,

My ex partner had lymphoma and this is where my health anxiety has come from, his night sweats were so extreme that the sheets needed to be changed a d he lost over a stone in weight and also had a massive lump on his chest, he also had an ongoing cough with no sign of a cold for months! so please try not to worry as yes lymphoma would show some abnormalities in the blood. I think some cancers show up in blood work ie lymphoma and leukaemia as its something to do with the white blood count and some don't!
It's easier said than done I know as I too worry that I have this as I lost a stone (now realise its from my anxiety) and the last few nights I have had night sweats so my anxiety is currently through the roof. I also have had blood work done and its all clear but its very hard I find to believe it as in your head your right. But I hope this has reassured you a little x

---------- Post added at 21:56 ---------- Previous post was at 21:54 ----------

Forgot to mention I had all of your symptoms, lack of appetite, itching etc and mine was from my anxiety and worrying. I literally worried myself sick! When I started to accept it was me the symptoms started to go and I am getting back to myself again slowly x

[lisak789]

Thank you so much for your response. I don't think many people understand how powerful health anxiety is. I am 35 and feel like I am just existing and waiting for the worst. I have no life anymore. It's a sad way to live. I have ha so many tests and all have come back good but I can't believe the doctor I just think they missed something and that I annoy the doctors so much they don't care if I die anyways. Silly way of thinking I know. I'm scared to die but I'm scared to keep living to.

[LongingForSunrise]

One thing I try to focus on is which symptoms that AREN'T a part of my problem. When it's something deadly, it usually comes with a lot of heavy burdens.

My mothers ex-man died of pancreatic cancer a few months ago, and that illness is one of my absolutely worst nightmares. Because it's extremely deadly. I have reflux issues and that scares the shit out of me. But when I drink less coffee and less sour things, less spicy things - the problem slowly dissolves. So one has to think about it logically, like - what isn't there?

As an example. My big ISSUE is heart conditions. I had everything but a heart attack, I thought. Probably none of it was ever true. Most likely. Definitely. I was riding my bike like a mad man, doesn't sound like I had any heart condition - does it?

I think about how I feel in general, that's what a doctor told me to do. Do I sweat a lot? Am I dizzy? Am I passing out? Do I have strong chest or stomach pain? Do I have headaches? Am I a little "off"? Stuff like that.

And my psychologist told me to use alternative thinking. Like, what's most likely when I exercise - that I get exhausted from exercise or from heart problems? And to explain to myself, and note (write down), the alternative thinking.

I love to exercise. I workout with home gym, mountain biking and skateboarding. Every time I'm afraid that no one will notice if I pass out or that I can't call after an ambulance (that they won't find the GPS-location if I pass out during the call) or that I will die instantly. I have to keep on doing these things despite the extreme fear of doing it. It's either before or after the fear comes crawling, during the exercise it's all ok. But the body keeps working after the exercise, and that sensation may scare me. Alternative thinking, all the time.

SUPER HARD, but achievable. I find my inspiration in people like Aron Ralston (127 Hours), the Apollo 13 crew, Neil Armstrong and many astronauts and many, many more. Whatever it takes. Keep that in mind. I always think about living free or die trying.

[Coppernob]

True nights sweats are very dramatic, and much worse than just waking up sweaty and a bit damp, which most of us do at times. My husband had thyroiditis a few years ago and the night sweats were dreadful - he had to change his pyjamas in the night and the bedlinen had to be changed every day. Pillows had to be thrown away.