wish I could stop drinking

[JoniEdwards]

For about three years now I have been drinking a lot. Just this past few months I've started drinking the moment I wake up because I'm scared of panic attacks so I drink to get out of bed and I have to have a drink with me when I attempt to go out or I would never leave the house. I want to stop drinking but I'm scared I will die or be very ill of I do. So I just keep drinking and drinking. I need some help but I'm too embarrassed to ask. I feel as though my life is ruined. I hate panic attacks. my only comfort is my booze. :(

[jackie13]

Hi hun

It is the alcohol causing your panic and anxiety. It would not be advisable for you to just stop due to withdrawal. You CAN get through this but you need to ask for help. A really good site that I use is www.soberrecovery.com you will be welcomed on this site it's got LOADS of help.

Good luck hun

Jackie x

[JoniEdwards]

Thank you very much.

[saintanselm]

I'm sort of in the same boat but I manage to kerb my drinking. I noticed that it just made my anxiety worse. Seriously worse and I think its clinically proven to do so. You also have the added angst of having go to work wondering if you smell of alcohol. Or if you don't have to go to work you worry that you smell of alcohol to your friends and family. Not to mention the anxiety of going to buy booze in the morning, the not knowing what you exactly did the night before...

I will say one thing. When I gave up alcohol it took a few days of lying in bed with anxiety but it lifted. The anxiety was still there but not as bad as it was.So my thoughts are with you. I know EXACTLY the cycle you are in and hope you get over it.

[LongingForSunrise]

Hello, Joni.

You need to know that you are not alone. You need to know that everyone feels embarrassed about an addiction. It's not something one is usually proud of, and it's ruining lives everywhere. A lot of shame, a lot of guilt. But you're worth more than that. We're worth more than to destroy ourselves by means of substance abuse.

I do not have this issue with alcohol, but I have with alprazolam. I'm currently on a quitting schedule. The best thing is to try to find a group of people (including a leader) or a psychologist or therapist which focuses on these problems. It will be hard, very hard to actually take that step - but judging by the photo, it looks like someone needs you take that step. I don't mean no offense, but it may help to have some motivation.

The alcohol does increase anxiety in long term, as well as effecting your mind and your body in a negative fashion. Alcohol is not a good thing to consume, in any form. Perhaps only to clean open wounds. Another motivational reason, I hope.

Panic attacks are not dangerous. You can overcome the panic attacks. You can master them with knowledge and help along the way. There are many different ways of treating this and especially CBT has a huge number of success stories to follow. However, it can't be a 5-meeting CBT. It's hard work and all of it is done by you. All of it most come from within you, the psychologist or therapist can only guide you and give you information.

First step is to recognize that there is a problem, and you've taken it.

[JoniEdwards]

Im scared. :(

---------- Post added at 12:23 ---------- Previous post was at 12:20 ----------

Thanks u so much for the responses.

[LongingForSunrise]

Yes, and you should be. It is very natural to be scared. Nothing wrong or strange about it, Joni.

It may get scarier if you continue on this path, but it's hard to turn away from whatever makes you think you're safe. I know, I know. I'm working real hard on living life again, like I used to. Because I love life above all. I love living it, I love being around and sometimes we face these challenges.

You need to find a reason/reasons to motivate yourself to take the next step towards recovery. It's important to take care of both issues, drinking and panic attack disorder, but perhaps focus a little bit more on one part. One might think that you should take care of panic attacks first, because they tend to make you drink more.

But I feel that panic attacks aren't dangerous, drinking a lot of alcohol is. You need to find a comfortable zone, a zone in which you can reveal the fear and the burden you carry. You need to take practical steps and you need to change your behaviour, which is usually targeted by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

You also need to know that it takes time and a lot of effort. It's going to be very hard, but it's not impossible and it does get easier with time. You may experience panic attacks, but they will be less threatening once you learn how to cope with the experiences. Most of the time one is afraid of the fear/experience itself, and that may cause the attack to reveal itself some more.

I would continue to suggest you try to find someone to talk to. It's important to take this second step, which is at least equally hard as to realize to problem itself. Because it becomes an issue of letting others recognize the problem.

But it's the truth and you will feel a wonderful sensation of relief once you've chosen to live by the truth and the seriousness of the situation.

I'm sorry that I sound preaching, I do tend to be a little dramatic. Hehe. But I mean every word I write and I know how hard it is to end an era of pain and safety behaviour. I've lived through my worst moments, but I'm still fighting and I will have to fight for the rest of my life. But it does get A LOT easier.

The fear will go away. Be patient. :)