crazymeds
17-04-13, 18:39
Hi, I'm a 38 year old married mother of two, a farmers wife, I work as a part time marketing manager, and have a busy life/social life.
On the surface I'm sure I appear confident, happy, organised and friendly. Probably a bit neurotic, but completely fine.
However, since I was 25 I have suffered from GAD, with specifically a weird sort of OCD/panic about lack of sleep/being tired/getting unwell with M.E. (which I have had in the past)
So I've been on Seroxat, which was great, but stopped working, Citalopram (ditto), and most of the SSRIs. I've taken them through pregnancy, and through the nasty post natal anxiety that I suffered.
Anyway, I'm now on Sertraline 100mg, and I thought everything was ok. I've not had any massive panics for a long long time. Ever since I had my last child though, my anxiety has increased massively. I don't know why....
So now Sertraline has stopped working, and for a variety of reasons (illness in the family, my mother's own mental health not being great, general anxiety about my elderly anxious parents) the anxiety has returned hugely.
For the last 3-4 weeks I have felt sick, shaky, breathless, couldn't sleep, eat or behave normally. I jumped like a scalded cat at any loud noise. Any tiny set back sent me into a hyperventilating anxiety spiral. I was obsessively counting how many hours of sleep I would have, checking my anxiety levels all the time, stressing about my parents and generally being a complete nightmare.
I went to the Drs, who has asked me to reduce down my Sertraline for 7 days to 50mg, so that next Tuesday I can go onto Cymbalta. In the meantime he has given me Diazepam 2mg, and I am taking 2-4 a day.
I hate it, I really HATE it. I feel weak and abnormal. I have always felt lacking compared to many people.
I have made an appointment to see my counsellor. I have never really rated CBT in the past, as I didn't like talking about aspects of my personality and the bullying I went through at school, at which I felt very VERY ashamed. I like to push it all away, and pretend that nothing is wrong. I have always felt very ashamed of being jittery and nervous. Even when I was tiny, I was very anxious, hated leaving my Mum, was bullied like anything and I loathed school/college/work.
I just want to talk to people who are like me!
Do you ever look around at your friends and wonder why you're so different? I don't know a single person who is on anti depressants or who has real problems with anxiety. At the school gate, everyone seems together and friendly (well, I suppose I do too), but of all my friends, no one has ever taken Valium or any anti depressants. Why me?!?
I wish I was stronger and could cope better.
Anyway, that's me. I'd love to hear from anyone who is feeling the same!
On the surface I'm sure I appear confident, happy, organised and friendly. Probably a bit neurotic, but completely fine.
However, since I was 25 I have suffered from GAD, with specifically a weird sort of OCD/panic about lack of sleep/being tired/getting unwell with M.E. (which I have had in the past)
So I've been on Seroxat, which was great, but stopped working, Citalopram (ditto), and most of the SSRIs. I've taken them through pregnancy, and through the nasty post natal anxiety that I suffered.
Anyway, I'm now on Sertraline 100mg, and I thought everything was ok. I've not had any massive panics for a long long time. Ever since I had my last child though, my anxiety has increased massively. I don't know why....
So now Sertraline has stopped working, and for a variety of reasons (illness in the family, my mother's own mental health not being great, general anxiety about my elderly anxious parents) the anxiety has returned hugely.
For the last 3-4 weeks I have felt sick, shaky, breathless, couldn't sleep, eat or behave normally. I jumped like a scalded cat at any loud noise. Any tiny set back sent me into a hyperventilating anxiety spiral. I was obsessively counting how many hours of sleep I would have, checking my anxiety levels all the time, stressing about my parents and generally being a complete nightmare.
I went to the Drs, who has asked me to reduce down my Sertraline for 7 days to 50mg, so that next Tuesday I can go onto Cymbalta. In the meantime he has given me Diazepam 2mg, and I am taking 2-4 a day.
I hate it, I really HATE it. I feel weak and abnormal. I have always felt lacking compared to many people.
I have made an appointment to see my counsellor. I have never really rated CBT in the past, as I didn't like talking about aspects of my personality and the bullying I went through at school, at which I felt very VERY ashamed. I like to push it all away, and pretend that nothing is wrong. I have always felt very ashamed of being jittery and nervous. Even when I was tiny, I was very anxious, hated leaving my Mum, was bullied like anything and I loathed school/college/work.
I just want to talk to people who are like me!
Do you ever look around at your friends and wonder why you're so different? I don't know a single person who is on anti depressants or who has real problems with anxiety. At the school gate, everyone seems together and friendly (well, I suppose I do too), but of all my friends, no one has ever taken Valium or any anti depressants. Why me?!?
I wish I was stronger and could cope better.
Anyway, that's me. I'd love to hear from anyone who is feeling the same!