flossie
18-04-13, 10:18
It was my ESA assessment on Tuesday. I had been granted a home visit appointment after my GP wrote a letter confirming that I would be unable to travel to the centre.
As you can imagine, having social phobia, I was gradually becoming more anxious getting nearer the day but I was coping not too bad for me. Come the appointment time, a 3 hour slot within which he would arrive, I was holding it together just wanting to get it over with. As time went on I was getting increasingly fidgety and after 2 and half hours was thinking he isn't going to turn up. Thoughts going round my head that he has gone to the wrong house. I live in ****Road further along the same road turns into ****Valley and in the middle is ****Mews. Totally confusing for delivery people etc and we constantly get misdeliveries etc. I was getting panicky, if he has gone to the wrong house and there was no answer how could I prove that he had got it wrong. It would be his word against mine and I wouldn't win.
Well he didn't turn up. I gave him 5 minutes but had to phone as I needed them to know that I was here and he wasn't. The lady said she would phone the Dr. and call me back. I wanted that assessment to take place as I wasn't going through another day like that again.
She calls back 10 minutes later and tells me that the assessor didn't go to work that day and the department hadn't been informed to contact me.
The appointment will be rescheduled and I have to go through it all again except now my anxiety levels are through the roof. I can't remember how long it is since I have felt this bad. I am really struggling to hold it together at the moment, my mood is up and down and I keep crying at the thought of waiting for that appointment letter to arrive.
The DWP first informed me of the transfer of my IB to ESA in Feb. 2012 so the whole process up to now has been 15 months of dreading going to pick up the post from the mat, dreading every phone call. In that time my confidence has gradually been deserting me and I am now back to the point of not even really wanting to take the dog out. 6 years hard work and I'm having to start again.
I feel totally on my own with this as I cannot get anywhere to seek help. I tried phoning CAB but there was never an answer. I'm really annoyed with myself too for letting it get to me so badly. It has just proved to me that on the surface I'm OK but underneath I'm still paddling like mad.
Sorry for the long post but I just needed to get it all out.
As you can imagine, having social phobia, I was gradually becoming more anxious getting nearer the day but I was coping not too bad for me. Come the appointment time, a 3 hour slot within which he would arrive, I was holding it together just wanting to get it over with. As time went on I was getting increasingly fidgety and after 2 and half hours was thinking he isn't going to turn up. Thoughts going round my head that he has gone to the wrong house. I live in ****Road further along the same road turns into ****Valley and in the middle is ****Mews. Totally confusing for delivery people etc and we constantly get misdeliveries etc. I was getting panicky, if he has gone to the wrong house and there was no answer how could I prove that he had got it wrong. It would be his word against mine and I wouldn't win.
Well he didn't turn up. I gave him 5 minutes but had to phone as I needed them to know that I was here and he wasn't. The lady said she would phone the Dr. and call me back. I wanted that assessment to take place as I wasn't going through another day like that again.
She calls back 10 minutes later and tells me that the assessor didn't go to work that day and the department hadn't been informed to contact me.
The appointment will be rescheduled and I have to go through it all again except now my anxiety levels are through the roof. I can't remember how long it is since I have felt this bad. I am really struggling to hold it together at the moment, my mood is up and down and I keep crying at the thought of waiting for that appointment letter to arrive.
The DWP first informed me of the transfer of my IB to ESA in Feb. 2012 so the whole process up to now has been 15 months of dreading going to pick up the post from the mat, dreading every phone call. In that time my confidence has gradually been deserting me and I am now back to the point of not even really wanting to take the dog out. 6 years hard work and I'm having to start again.
I feel totally on my own with this as I cannot get anywhere to seek help. I tried phoning CAB but there was never an answer. I'm really annoyed with myself too for letting it get to me so badly. It has just proved to me that on the surface I'm OK but underneath I'm still paddling like mad.
Sorry for the long post but I just needed to get it all out.