ahrimoniac
20-04-13, 11:47
Right. Here we are then. I'm going to try and keep a diary from my lowest ebb to the point where I feel like I've moved on from my health anxiety and can deal with it. I try to be quite positive so I promise that my ramblings won't be too miserable and I'll try and inject a bit of humour where I can, though the thought of injections is probably not the best thing to mention on an HA thread...hmm.
My name is Jamie, I'm 28, 'technically' in good health although I still have my suspicions, in a civil partnership with my very supportive and charming husband, currently working as a secretary in a large law firm (which provides a lot of the stress I have to deal with) and I suffer from health anxiety.
The way I'd describe my HA is that it's a constant tick in the back of my mind - I'm not constantly freaking out about illnesses and diseases, but I do catch myself scanning my body and getting into 'spells' of distress.
Physically, I have the following things wrong (and I'll list the treatments I've undergone after each symptom!):
- muscle twitching, mainly on the back of both legs but also all over the body: seen a doctor and this website, it's an anxiety thing;
- eyes shaking when I look at something, a tiny amount but enough to be noticeable - seen an optician and opthamalogist who says eyes are fine, no explanation given;
- trembling, mainly in hands but all over the body at various times - doctor assures it is nothing, neurologist says it isn't Parkinsons;
- nosebleeds, heavy and frightening - doctor says just a weak nose;
- muscle aches, especially in my legs and arms - docs said nowt to worry about.
I've had an MRI scan done of my noggin and that came back with no concerns. Seen two neurologists who dismissed me as having nothing wrong. Doc, though very sympathetic and thorough, is adamant this is anxiety, as is my partner - and I'm coming round to the idea ;)
I've only suffered with these twinges and anxiety since about three months ago, when I went through a healthscare (told myself I had HIV, I don't, but it was a good two weeks of checking my body and panicking, which I guess is where I've got into the habit from).
My sole reasoning for not believing the doctors 100% is that my pains and aches feel so damn real. I fear that I've had MS, Parkinsons, MND and other various things, but once I've been told they're a no-no, I'm quite good at putting those ideas to bed.
Day to day life hasn't been affected too badly yet - I'm not scared of being on my own, and I can work - though I'm on two weeks sick note on the advice of my doctor as the stress of work possibly doesn't help. I do worry that this is going to be me permenantly, but I have seen enough success stories on here to know it can be beaten.
Finally, I'm on mediciation - started citalopram a week ago, just on 10mg but it does seem to take the edge off a little. I've also been prescribed propananol - 40mg, once daily, to calm down my trembling, and I'm very happy with that. I hate taking medication as I strongly believe I'll be the one who has the adverse reactions, but I need to to get better.
So what am I doing? I've been referred to high-intensity CBT but that's weeks away, so I've decided to start seeing a psychotherapist in the meantime. I'm also reading lots of books on nerves and whatnot but I'm struggling to find one that is attuned particularly to health anxiety. I'll keep looking!
That's enough waffle. I do believe this can be beaten though. Anyone with me :)
My name is Jamie, I'm 28, 'technically' in good health although I still have my suspicions, in a civil partnership with my very supportive and charming husband, currently working as a secretary in a large law firm (which provides a lot of the stress I have to deal with) and I suffer from health anxiety.
The way I'd describe my HA is that it's a constant tick in the back of my mind - I'm not constantly freaking out about illnesses and diseases, but I do catch myself scanning my body and getting into 'spells' of distress.
Physically, I have the following things wrong (and I'll list the treatments I've undergone after each symptom!):
- muscle twitching, mainly on the back of both legs but also all over the body: seen a doctor and this website, it's an anxiety thing;
- eyes shaking when I look at something, a tiny amount but enough to be noticeable - seen an optician and opthamalogist who says eyes are fine, no explanation given;
- trembling, mainly in hands but all over the body at various times - doctor assures it is nothing, neurologist says it isn't Parkinsons;
- nosebleeds, heavy and frightening - doctor says just a weak nose;
- muscle aches, especially in my legs and arms - docs said nowt to worry about.
I've had an MRI scan done of my noggin and that came back with no concerns. Seen two neurologists who dismissed me as having nothing wrong. Doc, though very sympathetic and thorough, is adamant this is anxiety, as is my partner - and I'm coming round to the idea ;)
I've only suffered with these twinges and anxiety since about three months ago, when I went through a healthscare (told myself I had HIV, I don't, but it was a good two weeks of checking my body and panicking, which I guess is where I've got into the habit from).
My sole reasoning for not believing the doctors 100% is that my pains and aches feel so damn real. I fear that I've had MS, Parkinsons, MND and other various things, but once I've been told they're a no-no, I'm quite good at putting those ideas to bed.
Day to day life hasn't been affected too badly yet - I'm not scared of being on my own, and I can work - though I'm on two weeks sick note on the advice of my doctor as the stress of work possibly doesn't help. I do worry that this is going to be me permenantly, but I have seen enough success stories on here to know it can be beaten.
Finally, I'm on mediciation - started citalopram a week ago, just on 10mg but it does seem to take the edge off a little. I've also been prescribed propananol - 40mg, once daily, to calm down my trembling, and I'm very happy with that. I hate taking medication as I strongly believe I'll be the one who has the adverse reactions, but I need to to get better.
So what am I doing? I've been referred to high-intensity CBT but that's weeks away, so I've decided to start seeing a psychotherapist in the meantime. I'm also reading lots of books on nerves and whatnot but I'm struggling to find one that is attuned particularly to health anxiety. I'll keep looking!
That's enough waffle. I do believe this can be beaten though. Anyone with me :)