panic attaks or what?

[lavender123]

hi there everybody, i have suffered from anxiety for about 20 years, or more, i have read clire weekes books that kept me going in the first instance, and all through diffrent thing that kept happening to me, i lost my mum at christmas just gone, didnt really notice what was going on, just done things, then a couple of weeks ago i just went roight back to the very beginning when i got ill years ago with all of hr e heart racing etc. if i sit down and try and relax, with a book or watching tv, when i stand or go out to the kitchen i feel weak all over like i am going to faint, my legs feel like lead, i try to relax my body and eat regular, but i am afraid the whole lot has come back racing thoughts in the morning crocic fatique feeling no energy, do you think this is a setback or am i ill again, do you think its due to stress ove my mum dying and getting no support from my younger brother and older sister, i am seeing a therapist wednesday, i am at the end of my tether. any answeres would be so apprecited. thanks. please excuse spelling:mad:

[Darbysa]

Lavender
The death of anyone close is very stressful so it's not surprising that losing your mum has made you feel this way again.
Like you I have been a long term anxiety sufferer and I too found claire weekes books really helpful. I know too well the symptoms you sure describing and do get them myself from time to time. It's horrible to feel that way.
It's good that you are seeing a therapist. I'm sure this will help you to confront your loss and see that what you are feeling is quite natural.
I wish you well.

Sal x

[Ronno]

Lavender , my story's similar to yours, anxiety full blown 20 years ago and without Claire weekes books I don't know what I would have done. Mental health back then wasn't talked about so you tended to cope your self.
I after a year or so I was ok the odd day but I was getting on with my life .
Then six years ago my wife developed lymphoma , during her treatment I was fine juggling hospital , work and home , it was after her all clear I went to pieces . And haven't really recovered , now unlike before its more health anxiety . Focusing on my vision . And over the past few weeks I just can't concentrate , making me more anxious as I have a exam in connection with work( in the next week) . I was once told anxiety was a reaction to a past event , and that's what's happening to you, and us all , something big then small events during the week to keep the anxiety going. That's where this site is such a great help , being able to pour out our feelings, and get help from fellow sufferers ,

[lavender123]

thanks for your replies,, i know how you all feel its a lonely illness people dont know what your talking about half the time, and then i feel like a burden for just trying to explain, know the feeling, i was just wondering if this is a setback or a new illness again, a repeat of the beginning of my first illness about 20 years ago, it was what i wanted to forget about, but to get all the feelings back at once, is horrible, its not only the weakness its mind racing in the morning when you wake up,fatique, frightened to go out incase you faint or feel ill whil out, even if you follow claire weekes advice, th feelings are so strong you still wilt at them, and still dont have the confidence to carry on sometimes, but you do and hope they calm down,. i miss my mum very much especially now, 4 months on, the thought of not seeing her again, is horrible, i seem to miss her now than i did at first, you wish all the things you could have said and done better, i suppose everybody thinks that, i lost my dad and younger sister 6 years ago and i dont think i have got over them yet, x

[Ronno]

Hi again lavender .
It's not your illness starting again your just having a relapse , nothing to worry about . When I'm in a state I just remind myself I've seen it all before, and these symptoms can't harm you only frighten you, (if you let it ) .
I lost my father when I was 17 and my close aunt , mother and sister within four years of each other when I was in my mid 30s. We can do anything about death only to carry on living our lives best we can . On the subject of Claire weekes , she has 2 audio books on iTunes worth having , she narrates and I find her reading to you is easer than reading yourself .
Any way keep your head up allow the panic to come and I promise you they will loose their power .

[lavender123]

thanks ronno i was listening to the video tape that she she did on pebble mill at one years ago for the hundreth time, i went shopping esterday, but found it really hard, i wish i knew how do float likes doctor weekes says in her books, my walking was rooted to the ground, anyway its hopefully a setback, and i will have to apply myself like i have for the last how many years to start again and keep telling myself i have been here before. thanks anyway.