View Full Version : I can't eat!?
I've just had a peanut butter and banana sandwhich with an extra banana for breakfast . And I've just banged my head so hard against the wall as I shouldn't of eaten that!... I feel fat, ugly and overweight now again .
I don't want to eat for the rest of the day now and am going for a run over thr hills to work of the calories at least 600 in that breakfast easily.
I've weighed my self this morning and I'm slightly heavier. Every Saturday I keep binging.
For example dinner yesterday was:
Onion rings, hash browns, chicken , lemon chicken, pork ribs, seasme seed toast, noodles, rice, chips, beef, more chicken, mushrooms, broccoli and lots more. Two over full plates,
Plus dessert. Cake, four biscuits, jam tart, two scoops ice cream, jelly, more cake, jam roll poly :mad:.
:scared15:
I can't do this anymore.
I've seen my doctor but she didnt seem to listen to me and what I was saying to her :mad:. She looked at me like I was bloody stupid and just said eat more healthy stuff. Their was no good advise so I went and booked another app with another doctor for three weeks time. All she said was increase my veg and fruit intake and eat non processed stuff, ie not stuff like processed meat but real meat and more fish and chicken etc. she offered no advice on how gulity I feel or anything other than saying i was normal weight well I won't be normal if I carry on like this!?. I banged my head so hard against the wall my parents hard it i lied and said I'd dropped something on the floor but I've got a bruise coming up now but I thought it would teach me a lesson not to be so stupid again!
Today I was planning to drink just water and nothing else at all. :(.
I'm going to get my food for the week soon and on the list is this:
Fruit
Veg
And that's it :(
I was going to take a bunch of fruit to work for lunch. A banana, apple and satsuma.
Eat two eggs in the morning or Greek yoghurt with peanut butter. Or a can of tuna with vegetables like tomatoes and cucumber. Strange in the morning I know but figured this would help the protein uptake.
And havs vegetables with a protein for dinner all week.
This is stupid. I can't carry on like this,
I'm sorry for posting again but do I keep pestering my doctor until they listen!? What can actually be done for me?
When I asked her about starvation mode she wouldn't even listen to me properly or anything.
Hi Emma,
So sorry that you are consumed by this. Did you say the words 'Health Anxiety' to your doctor? You must make them aware of the fact that you have an obsession with food and that you strongly need help. Although really your doctor should have picked up on this and I'm sorry and angry that they didn't.
I know its easier said that done , but you need to follow a balanced diet. So no binge eating somedays and undereating others. Give yourself treats thats important but eat healthily in the main. You need your fruit and veg but you need to incorporate some proten and carbs into your diet too. Try and eat little and often to maintain your energy.
Hope this helps in some small way.
Thinking of you
Hannah :bighug1:
I didn't say the words but she was scrolling back on my record sayin 'hmm you seem to worry a lot about other stuff etc etc.'
I've had some lunch. Eggs, cress with noodles and beansprouts and veg and chickpeas About all I could manage even though tummy was rumbling About 455 calories with the sweet chilli sauce to.
Said to dad I fancy a light dinner. So salmon and salad I think.
I've been shop and come home with:
Wholemeal bread and pasta.
Salmon fillets
Prawns
Noodles
Beansprouts
Veg
Fruit
Cheese spread
Feta cheese
Walnuts
Almonds
Peanuts
Dried fruits
Raisins with yoghurt coated raisins in their to
Sweet chilli sauce
Black bean sauce
Tin of Tomoato soup
Chickpeas
Haricot beans
Butter beans
Granola
Lettuce. Romaine and iceberg. Red cabbage. Cress. Cucumber. Cherry tomatoes. Shredded carrot.
Humous
Now I don't know what to do with it all :(
.
I was thinking one night salmon with salad. Add walnuts and eggs to the salad. And have humous as a dip instead of salad cream
Then the next night prawn stir fry with sweet chilli sauce?:S
Lunches will be sandwiches and fruit etc etc. I've bought brewd with a sell by date of 26th April its in the shop bought bag in the bread bin will it be nice and soft tomorrow still?:S
I just want to eat healhtly.
I've booked to see another doctor as I felt she was bloody useless.
---------- Post added at 17:44 ---------- Previous post was at 14:17 ----------
Had dinner,
Fishcakes with a salad of lettuce, carrots, cherry toms, cucumber, feta cheese and humous to dip the veges into. I can not eat salad without something to dip and figure humous is about the healthiest I can have.
Then some jelly fruit/custard after, could be worse lol!?
Feeling gulity again today.
Had breakfast:
Greek yoghurt, ten almonds, five blackberries, five raspberries, one banana mixed into the yoghurt. 5:45am
Snack: satsuma. 10:30am
Lunch: garlic and herbs philly cheese sandwhich on brown bread. Tomato soup. 1pm
Dinner: salmon, poached egg. Salad (lettuce, Tomoato, cucumber, feta cheese, humous) 6:00pm
Dessert: satsuma. Activia peaches and yoghurt.
Drinks: just water.
---------- Post added at 19:01 ---------- Previous post was at 18:56 ----------
Why couldn't i just resist dessert?!
ashleybrownhd
23-04-13, 14:15
I would say doctor is the best person to examine your condition and only then doctor can give you right advise.
I used to have this and I got better so u can too. I took it slowly by eating healthier meals and didn't beat myself up for having something bad and u no wot I didn't put weight on from going back to eating normally and still eating crap for two days. The crap has salt in so can make u heavier the next day anyways as it holds on to extra water so it's not ur real weight. U can get through it I thought I wouldn't but I did. I'm now suffering really bad with gad and getting panicky and stuff but was better for a long while after I had what u have now. Maybe seeing a nutritionist will help to make u a meal plan.hope this helps
sarahsarah
23-04-13, 15:44
There's nothing wrong with a peanut butter and banana sandwich, Emma. From what I can gather from your posts, you have a reasonably healthy diet when you're not bingeing. You don't seem to eat much processed food. The last shop you did is certainly full of the healthiest choices. Remember the 2000 cals a day is only a guide, some of us need more, some a bit less. Do you have a physical job?
Most of us have the occasional blow-out on food and eat more than we should but we know that as long as we eat pretty healthily the rest of the time, the odd time over-doing it at a party or similar is fine. As it seems to happen pretty regularly for you and you worry yourself sick about it afterwards, I think you're really not going to get any peace with yourself til these issues are addressed. Don't miss put on any more of life by beating yourself up like you do. Time to get this sorted xx
I find at my lows I really really comfort eat quite heavily.
I don't eat a lot during the day and I'll avoid 'traditional' timing foods but then go mad on Fab lollies, crisps, drinks etc etc
Yes I do eat healthly during the week. Yesterday had.
Greek yoghurt, banana, raspberries, blackberries, almonds for breakfast.
Snack: satsuma
Lunches: Philly garlic and herbs cheese sandwhich and Tomoato soup.
Dinner: salmon, poached egg, salad (lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, cucumber, feta cheese and humous)
Dessert: activia yoghurt and satsuma,
However I reckon this was over 2000 cals lol.
Today have had:
Breakfast: Greek yoghurt, dried almonds, banana, almonds
Snack: satsuma
Lunch: garlic and herbs philly sandwich on brown bread.
Dinner: salmon and prawn sweet chilli stir fry.
Going to grab a piece of fruit and a yoghurt in a second.
I have a active job some days and some days not so active. Today I stood up but still most of the day. Tommorw ill be moving in feet for most of the day.
I'm going back to my docs as I'm just not getting better :(
nomorepanic
23-04-13, 19:16
I thought you were going to write things down and tell him last week that you need help with HA and OCD type things?
I've seen my doctor but she didnt seem to listen to me and what I was saying to her . She looked at me like I was bloody stupid and just said eat more healthy stuff. Their was no good advise so I went and booked another app with another doctor for three weeks time. All she said was increase my veg and fruit intake and eat non processed stuff, ie not stuff like processed meat but real meat and more fish and chicken etc. she offered no advice on how gulity I feel or anything.
When I asked her about starvation mode she wouldn't even listen to me properly or anything.
Today my calories add up to about 3,000 without me realising. I've had lots of nuts. Peanut butter. Four slices of bread . Two toast for breakfast. And a yoghurt and a pear. Two for a sandwich. Three bananas lol. Dinner of chicken wraps . Oh and jelly after dinner.
I didn't realise nuts were so high in calories. I've had about 1,000 worth.
Also does starvation mode kick in if you eat say five small meals every few hours of 200 cals a day totalling 1000 calories a day, or is it just if you don't eat at all?
Do you put it all back on and more when you go back to normal does eating small regular meals but lowering calories keep your metabolism sped up or does it still send ur body into starvation mode? And when you back to normal eating does your metabolism speed up again? My bmr is 1286 calories.
---------- Post added at 20:16 ---------- Previous post was at 19:40 ----------
I've just made a salad for lunch tomorrow to take to work.
It's got : lettuce, carrots, red cabbage, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, yellow pepper and cheddar cheese in. I think I'm going to take a can of tuna and have that on it aswell.
Problem is cant have salad without mayo or salad cream it's horrible otherwise. Don't have any bread in house for sandwiches anyway.
God knows what dinner will be lol.
Not happy,
These last two days have been around 2,500-3,000 cslories I think I'm a pound heavier
I was given this diet plan by my step mum the other day - she had been given it by her consultant prior to heart surgery.
The basis of this diet is chemical. If you follow the diet to the letter for one week you should lose 14 pounds (and possibly up to 20 pounds)
Day 1 Breakfast 1 slice dry toast and grilled tomatoes
Lunch Fresh fruit (any amount)
Dinner 2 hard boiled eggs, salad, grapefruit
Day 2 Breakfast Grapefruit, 1 boiled egg
Lunch Roast chicken (any amount) & tomatoes
Dinner Grilled steak and salad
Day 3 Breakfast Grapefruit, 1 boiled egg
Lunch 2 boiled eggs and tomatoes
Dinner 2 Grilled lamb chops, celery & cucumber
Day 4 Breakfast 2 slices dry toast, 2 poached eggs
Lunch fresh fruit (any amount)
Dinner 2 hard boiled eggs, salad, grapefruit
Day 5 Breakfast 1 slice dry toast, 2 poached eggs
Lunch 2 poached eggs & tomatoes
Dinner Fresh or tinned fish and salad
Day 6 Breakfast 1 boiled egg, 1 glass grapefruit juice
Lunch Fresh fruit (any amount)
Dinner Roast chicken, cabbage, carrots
Day 7 Breakfast 2 scrambled eggs, grilled tomatoes
Lunch 2 Poached eggs& spinach
Dinner Grilled steak & salad
NOTE
Abstain from anything not mentioned.
Eat only what is shown or do without.
No substitutions allowed.
No eating between meals
No alcohol
No butter milk or fat
Drinks = black tea, black coffee, lemon tea, grapefruit juice, tonic, soda or water only
Salad = lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes and celery only
DO NOT DIET FOR MORE THAN ONE WEEK AT A TIME
I've found this diet and really want to start Monday.
I won't be eating anything tomorrow as I've gained weight so need to loose it. Reckon I can loose a pound not eating for one day.
sarahsarah
25-04-13, 20:03
That diet looks very harsh, Emma. If it is meant as a pre-surgery diet, then you should only do it if you're pre-surgery. What can you as a healthy individual possibly gain from this extreme diet? How will you manage at work if you've got no energy?
As far as I can see, there are no carbohydrates in it anywhere. We need carbohydrates to live. There's a reason it says you should only do this diet one week at a time- that's because it is dangerous and clearly designed for people to lose weight quickly before an op, not for you. Losing that much weight in a week is ridiculous for you, in fact it is downright dangerous.
I think next time you see your doc, you don't need to mention food or dieting, rather that you think you need some help with the way you are feeling at the moment. Xx
Hello.
Yes it's harsh I agree.
I just keep eating and eating though then feeling guilty and am sure I'm a pound heavier than two days ago.
At the moment I'm healhtly but if I carry on ill be obese.
What do you mean by what to say to the doc ? X
---------- Post added at 20:08 ---------- Previous post was at 20:07 ----------
I just want to kick start weight loss. I want to loose weight quickly :(.
sarahsarah
25-04-13, 20:20
You don't need to lose weight quickly. You're not going for an op, been told to lose weight in the week beforehand and prescribed this diet so it is not for you. You would only put on any weight lost when you started eating normally again.
What I meant about talking to the doc is that next time you go, you need to focus on telling him/her about how guilty you feel about food, and how this is having a real impact on your life. Xx
If you eat a strict diet, you will be bound to get hungry and binge.
Are you actually putting on weight? Or do you just fear that you might?
Your problem isn't your diet or your weight, it's the way you feel about food. It's your feelings, rather than what you eat, that you need to discuss with the doctor.
Gotagetthroughthis
25-04-13, 20:33
Emma im sure you said you weigh around 7 Stone or something like that? You DO NOT need to be losing weight.
Hiya.
Well I think I have gained, however it is evening time when we do normally weigh heavier as we've eaten all day.
I think I've put on a pound though. I fear putting weight on treamoundsly.
I don't want to eat tomorrow to see what the scales say
I don't want to sound harsh Emma but your obsession with food has the potential for causing eating disorders if you are not careful.
Putting on a pound every now and then is not the end of the world-my weight constantly fluctuates by a few pounds, depending on what I eat but I'm not over weight so I dont care.
I think you need to try and take your focus away from food and find something else to distract yourself with. Stop counting calories, weighing yourself and logging what you eat each day-you are not over weight so this is not a healthy thing to do.
You do not need to go on a diet-so stop researching things like that.
Just relax and enjoy the food you eat without worrying about all these things.
I think you seriously need to put a stop to how you are looking at food at the moment.
backfromthebrink
25-04-13, 22:01
Emma, do you actually read any of the responses anyone has to you, here?
People are telling you that you don't need to lose weight and your own doctor has said you are a normal weight, yet you keep on saying you want to diet and listing what you've eaten.
What is wrong is not your weight, and I don't think you have health anxiety either - since you're not worried about a health condition. I think you have OCD and an eating disorder (EDs have OCD qualities to them), and THAT'S what you need to tell your GP so you can get the help you need. Go see your GP and say 'I think I have an eating disorder' and you will get far more help than directions about eating healthy foods etc.
GPs only have 10 mins per appointment and that probably wasn't long enough for a doctor to get to what the psychological issue was...
Are you hearing this/reading this??
katielou80
26-04-13, 06:34
i think you need to see a dr emma, your posts are quite scary! you need to chill out and relax! are you having therapy????
almamatters
26-04-13, 06:43
Just like to repeat what the previous posts have said Emma, you are obviously obsessed about this subject and need to get professional advice, you are very slim and do not need to lose weight or keep worrying about it to this extent. I think posting regularly, like you do is a kind of therapy in itself, but you still should talk to your GP, that is just my opinion. Take Care
Thank you.
I am going back to the docs and will say I have an obsession around food/possible eating disorder.
Today have had.
Half a tin of peaches and banana for breakfast as needed something to take with me as was late!
Snack: almonds, peanuts, dried apriotcs and raisins in a little pot.
Lunch: Philly cheese sandwich on brown bread and a tin of soup (minestrone)
Dinner is going to be. Chicken breast, prawns, lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, peppers, beetroot, coleslaw and feta cheese. So a salad. And fresh pineapple for after. Will pile up with the veg and have less of the cheese and coleslaw though.
Drinks: two coffees, one tea, water.
I've been on feet all morning though moving around so have burnt of energy but nuts keep you really really full up.
I just have an extreme fear of being fat. I don't want I be fat.
I've been good today though. Not been on the scales once today. Also not counted calories although I'm tempted but must not!
---------- Post added at 14:30 ---------- Previous post was at 14:24 ----------
Also I have a bread obsession. :(
I spend my time practising how to spread butter, peanut butter, cheese spread evenly and cutting bread exactly in half.
I also can only bear to use bread once after its be opened.
Now I sound weird .
nomorepanic
26-04-13, 14:31
Emma
The first thing you need to do is stop writing down what you are eating!
We do not need to know and you do not need to know either
You really aren't listening to anyone on here are you?
I am it's just become an obsession.
I wouldn't call it an ed more OCD type of thing.
Ok I will stop writing down and see if it helps.
Last thing is I have big arm muscles for a young girl and I heard you need more calories the more muscle you have ?
These are my arms lol:
http://i42.tinypic.com/2gufrx3.jpg
Emma I think you need to spend some time reading over all your posts since you started on NMP. You constantly replace one obsession with another one the most recent ones being your fridge, your mums cough, food and now your arm.
You get very obsessed with each thing writing constant posts and taking little notice of all the replies you get. You then say you know you are worrying about nothing whilst 10 seconds later then start obsessively posting about something else. I don't know what anyone on here can do to help you-we suggest methods of distraction etc but you still continue to obsess over things.
What is happening about your CBT? I think you mentioned about talking to the doctor about this. Are you on the waiting list?
Hello.
I'm on waiting list for cbt.
5th may is my first date to see the cbt consultant were we will talk over stuff , discuss issues etc etc. it's come round quick.
Just had me tea and feeling guilty now
http://i41.tinypic.com/1zyk96r.jpg
Look at the portion! But most was low cal veg I suppose. You can't see the cheese or prawns or beetroot very well though.
Got some pineapple, melon and grapes for pudding in a bit.
I havnt counted calories but I'm very close.
I understand that it feels like I take little notice of the replies I get. I can see that but I do I promise I'm just in such a bad state right now and that's why it sounds like I take no notice.
nomorepanic
26-04-13, 18:30
You need to stop counting calories and stop taking pictures of your food as well Emma.
Just eat "normally" and stop obsessing.
You are still focussing on your meals-stop taking pictures of them but well done about not counting calories.
Do something now for a few hours to take your mind away from your evening meal-maybe go for a walk, read a book.
It is really good about your CBT and you don't have long to wait now.
Thanks guys,
Can I ask does that kids of dinner look normal -ish and healthy - ish to you?
Yes not long now, can you believe it's may already ? Half way through year! Lol.
Is what I've had today :
Peaches, banana- breakfast
Snack- almonds, peanuts, raisins and dried apricts
Lunch- brown bread philly cheese sandwich and soup
Dinner- above pic
Dessert- pineapple, grapes and melon
Is that 'normal' do you guys eat about that amount? :S
I keep picturing a fat 12 stone 5 foot girl in my head lol.
I'm determined to make this my last post about my weight.
I feel like vie not listened again. I just have those questions above left :(
Might go watch season 6 birds of a feather now! Lol. Working my way through them.
Emma you haven't listened to anything we have said.
I know why it sounds like I havnt.
I will stop now. Go and watch some tv. Play some games on ipad and try to just stop thinking about food.
Well done-that honestly is the best thing to do.
Enjoy your tv and games xx
Probably end up falling asleep in front of tv. Like most Friday nights. Think the 5:30 am wake up calls catch up on me by end of week. I do enjoy a nice relaxing friday evening knowing I can sleep in tomorrow :D
venusbluejeans
26-04-13, 23:13
I am it's just become an obsession.
I wouldn't call it an ed more OCD type of thing.
Ok I will stop writing down and see if it helps.
Last thing is I have big arm muscles for a young girl and I heard you need more calories the more muscle you have ?
These are my arms lol:
Hello.
I'm on waiting list for cbt.
5th may is my first date to see the cbt consultant were we will talk over stuff , discuss issues etc etc. it's come round quick.
Just had me tea and feeling guilty now
Look at the portion! But most was low cal veg I suppose. You can't see the cheese or prawns or beetroot very well though.
Got some pineapple, melon and grapes for pudding in a bit.
I havnt counted calories but I'm very close.
I understand that it feels like I take little notice of the replies I get. I can see that but I do I promise I'm just in such a bad state right now and that's why it sounds like I take no notice.
Thanks guys,
Can I ask does that kids of dinner look normal -ish and healthy - ish to you?
Yes not long now, can you believe it's may already ? Half way through year! Lol.
Is what I've had today :
Peaches, banana- breakfast
Snack- almonds, peanuts, raisins and dried apricts
Lunch- brown bread philly cheese sandwich and soup
Dinner- above pic
Dessert- pineapple, grapes and melon
Is that 'normal' do you guys eat about that amount? :S
I keep picturing a fat 12 stone 5 foot girl in my head lol.
I'm determined to make this my last post about my weight.
I feel like vie not listened again. I just have those questions above left :(
Might go watch season 6 birds of a feather now! Lol. Working my way through them.
Emma in the first message I quoted you said you would stop writing your food you eat down, yet your next post you just did it again and in the post after that......they are three consecutive posts you made.
I can see why people are thinking that you do not listen to what they are saying because you say you will do something they have suggested and then it goes straight out of the window and you carry on without doing it just about straight away.
you need to take some peoples advice on here, as hard as it may be for you, you are asking for help and people are trying to give you the help but it just seems to be falling on deaf ears.
You need to go back to the doctors and talk about your HA and your other problems and NOT about the food you are eating......Emma you need help for your mental health and not your physical health.
Sorry if this seems harsh but it is just as I see it.
I do hope you get this sorted because at the minute it is consuming your life.
what about a start of pledging not to write down what you eat for one day and see if it helps at all
katielou80
27-04-13, 06:57
i think it will help you emma, if you do read through all of your posts, and look how 'strange' they are, we are all trying to help you but your not listening. i know its hard as i have health anxiety and when your told something i dont always listen either, but i think your becoming totally obsessed!!. it seriously is one thing after another! no breaks either! you are so wasting our life!! like i always try and think..... my granddad used to have HA in his earlyish years.....he is now 97, never had cancer...only been in hospital once for gallstones!! think how many years of your life you are wasting!! you only get ONE life, and its far too short and goes far too quickly!! please listen and try and sort your self out, if not for you, for your famiiys sake!! are any of your friends or family worried about you??
Thanks guys,
Am not writing down today what I ate, havnt counted calories, havnt stood on scales either.
I know I've over eaten as went to restaurant for early dinner but do you know what I don't care! And that's shocking for me for Once in a long time lol.
Yes can't believe its nearly may already. Half way through 2013 soon lol!
Well done Emma-keep up the good work and try not no let your thoughts transfer to another obsession.
Thanks just going to enjoy Saturday night with a good friend :)
Sounds like a good night, I hope you have lots of fun.
Thanks.
Having a really good night :)
Not having a good day today,
Stepped on scales :( 1 pound heavier.
Today have had two weetabix . 150ml semi skimmed milk, banana.
Tinned peaches
Two cheese spread sandwiches
A satsuma
One of these oily roasted pepper things of the deli. Dad said I could try one so I did.
Salad- tuna, cucumber, cherry Toms, ,lettuce, beansprouts, coleslaw, prawns, peppers. Salad cream.
:(. Not happy with my self at all.
Im sure peoples weights fluctuate a couple pounds here and there each day I know mine does when I go on wii fit it can be up and down by the odd pound. You eat healthy dont be so hard on yourself im sure one of your posts I read you a healthy weight so stop thinking about your food and weight so much have you been to doctors about this food/weight obsession x
Gotagetthroughthis
30-04-13, 20:50
Emma 1 pound is nothing, like fluff said everyone's weight fluctuates throughout the day. I know I have often weighed myself at the start of the day and by the end of the day I can easily be 10 pounds heavier but it doesn't mean I have gained that weight permanently. You have nothing to worry about.
venusbluejeans
30-04-13, 21:11
Emma there is probably no coincidence that when you DID NOT write down and concentrate on your food intake that you had a good day.
you have started to do it again, the minute you write down what you have eaten you say you are having a bad day.
just my observation but I see a pattern
Yes if does fluctuate however I weigh at same time each day. And have gained weight.
For example today I made tuna and salmon pasta for dinner, was meant o last two days but I just ate a whole large plate of if! Literally over flowing. With a huge salad on another plate as if wouldn't fit lol. It was made from one average says coffee/tea mug worth of pasta . It was one tin tuna, one salmon fillet, two tablespoons mayo. Salad. 10 cherry tomatoes. Nearly a whole cucumber, nearly a whole lettuce, beansprouts, half a red pepper, coleslaw. !
I've also had rest of day weetabix with lots of milk, banana. A pack of fruit which was 170 calories. It had grapes, pineapple, melon in. A marmite sandwich, two satsumas.
And I'm still resisting eating a dessert. Eating like this everyday will make me gain weight!
I start cbt soon but won't get better without it :(
---------- Post added at 19:00 ---------- Previous post was at 18:52 ----------
Fluff have been to docs, they didnt seem to care so booked another app.
Ok well im glad your getting cbt soon you have to let us all know how its going :-)
Thanks, :) I've calculated 2,800 cslories roughly, no wonde I'm putting weight on :(
venusbluejeans
01-05-13, 20:04
Emma this is the last time I am going to post on any of your threads, unless it is an admin related matter as you completely ignored me. So much so that you replied to every one of the other people who answered you apart from me.
I made an observation about your good or bad days but you feel compelled to focus on the bad and obsess with them rather than thinking "Oh that helped maybe I should try that more often"
I wish you well in your recovery but I am not going to reply anymore, as I do not want to feel totally ignored by someone that I am trying to help, as you have done to me.
Ok I understand, I didn't mean to ignore you but looking over posts I can see I did, sorry . Emma
---------- Post added at 18:37 ---------- Previous post was at 18:28 ----------
Feeling better today but panicking about my massive dinner last night still.
Had today.
Weetabix banana- breakfast
Banana/muiller light- snack
Lunch- almond croissant, two oranges
Dinner- stir fried veg with sweet chill sauce and corned beef in two wraps.
---------- Post added at 19:29 ---------- Previous post was at 18:37 ----------
Yes I eat very healthy except some days .
I eat a lot though but of the right things. For example my portion last night was unreal! A whole plate mountain of tuna/salmon pasta and a whole plate of salad.
I do worry about putting weight on though.
But if I ever put weight on all I would do is eat what I eat now and limit portion sizes and cut desserts out.
So I'd have a decent sized serving instead of a mountain as I do eat right. Healthy food makes me feel happy
I eat right just to much of the right things!
I had about 200 grams of pasta lol.
Rennie1989
02-05-13, 19:42
Your body metabolises all the time, you can add and lose a couple of pounds a day just through that. That's why if you must weigh yourself you do it at the same time of the day and ONLY once a week/fortnight.
Make sure you give yourself a pat on the back when you have a good day. It gives you the confidence to carry on as so. If you concentrate on the bad days you'll bring yourself down into a pool of self-pity. Remember, it's OK to relapse, but it's good to remember that you can eat well because you've shown us you can.
Yes I weight first thing in morning. 8 stone. Last thing after dinner 8 stone. Used to be just under eight a week ago which is worrying me.
Thank you though. I've got to get through this. I'm off to docs again next week.
I've had a bad day today. Weighing, counting calories etc. to scared to do yesterday as I reckon just dinner was 1,500 lol so couldn't do it. Ah well.
I love good healhtly food which is what I have just too much of it! As my diet is healhty most of the time.
I think I'm going to buy a smaller plate to be honest.
Thank you, another day tomorrow can try better
Well yesterday I ended up in total having:
Breakfast: 2x weetabix with semi skimmed milk. One banana.
Snack: banana and strawberry muiller light.
Lunch: tesco almond croissant, two satsumas.
Dinner: two veg and corned beef wraps with sweet chilli sauce on the veg when it was cooked
Dessert: mini toffee ambrosia custard
Drinks: one pint water. One medium glass water, four cups tea.
Today so far have had:
Breakfast: same as yesterday
Snack: two satsumas
Lunch: four ryvitta. Each with half a slice of cheddar cheese and one slice corned beef to use it up. One small plum. One small tin half apricots.
Dinner tonight is prawn and chicken salad . Thing is I always end up with a massive plate of salad!
Actually feeling good about that!
Emma,
Have you got a printer, if so i think you should print all of this thread ,and take it with you to your doctor or therapist or someone that will take you seriously.
You need help. and you are not taking any advice that members on here are
giving you. :hugs:
Hiya.
Yes my nan owns one, printed this off yesterday.
No I'm not taking advice. Not on purpose I just can't do it.
I'm so guilty I've woken for work this morning and ate this: yoghurt, weetabix, almonds, three bananas, three peanut butter rolls :( I'm binging I don't like it, now I shouldn't eat for rest of day as I've had 1.700 calories already.
---------- Post added at 06:24 ---------- Previous post was at 06:22 ----------
I'm such an idiot I hate what I've just done to my self. I should take no food to work with me now and have no dinner tonight I think. I even tried to vomit it back up but I couldn't do it, the feeling of putting my finger down my throat was too much to handle. :(
Well not had a good day.
On top of what I wrote above I've had a scotch egg large one, big bar of cad buries a family size one, Big Mac, large fries, Mcflurry,
Start again tommorow have been shopping.
Cornflakes/banana for breakfast
Apple for snack
Hummus roll with possible lettuce and cucumber for lunch. Side of tomatoes
Egg salad for dinner served with lots and lots of veg.
Have binged ate today so badly :(
Emma making yourself sick after binging is called bullemia and is a serious eating disorder. If this is what you are doing then you need to see the doctor ASAP.
Yes :(. In a real bad bad way.
I can no longer deny how bad I am.
I informed work today that I won't be in tommorow morning . Spoke to my boss , broke down in tears actually and am off to the doctors tommorow morning.
I've has in total nearly 4,000 calories today.
Defiantly on a diet tommorow.
Have bought salad stuff etc.
so fruit and cereal breakfast
Fruit snack.
Lunch is whole grain roll with hummus and cucumber and lettuce and a side of tomatoes.
Dinner - egg salad.
No more junk. No more ice cream. No more chocolate. No crisps. No cakes . No nothing. .
I am two pounds heavier. I've seen lots of overweight people today and I won't be one of them!
Well done for admitting it, hopefully you can get the help you need now.
Thanks.
I'm so frightened. So scared. It really is horrible.
Not to be nasty I see over weight people and don't want to be like that. 4,000 calories In a day, what was I thinking.
From now on I will not take two rolls to work just the one etc etc.
I meant well done for admitting you have a problem with food, not saying you need to go on a diet.
---------- Post added at 20:01 ---------- Previous post was at 19:58 ----------
Did you not discuss your food issues in your CBT session?
Yes . A huge problem. More than a problem.
I'm petrified of becoming fat.
So I think right ill over eat today enjoy my food then starve for a week. Then I realise I can't just not eat tommorow so run to the shops to by salad and more bloody salad. This can't carry on . I will become fat. I like my shape as it is. I'm happy at my size well I've gained a few pounds from binging the last few days. Surely if I carry on ill be fat?
I really hope the docs are helpful tommorow.
Not in depth. More the health anxiety :)
Did you not discuss your food issues at your CBT appointment?
Not In depth no. Was bought up but mostly health anxiety was discussed,
Seen doctor,
Have yet again been referred for more counselling sessions (not cbt) but counselling.
Anyway.
I'm still not better still feel crap.Have woken up this morning and weighed and have defiantly gained two pounds of fat :(.
Now I'm considering not taking my lunch to work as my breakfast, snack, lunch is going to add up to nearly 1,500 calories before I even have dinner which is a small bowl of whole meal pasts with tomato and basil sauce on tonight. Going to have a tiny bowl so I have a tiny portion ! My lunch is two peanut butter rolls. However I've read a tablespoon of pb is 95 calories and I reckon I have two in each. So 167 for each brown roll !- 717 calories for both rolls.! If I take both ill eat both so don't know what to do :(
Also all my gp said was to refer me back to counselling and to snack on fruit and veg etc. not particularly helpful even after showing this. Just kept saying I was normal weight Grr.
Today works out at over 2,500 cals again :(.
Breakfast: Special K and banana
Snack: apple
Lunch: two brown peanut butter rolls, one salad tomato, one small plum, snack pot strawberry rice pudding, half a kinder bueno.
Dinner: salad. Was going to have pasta but dad had already made a salad so ate it. He did egg, lettuce, cucumber, red pepper, corned beef, tuna, cheddar cheese and feta cheese and beetroot.
I'm resisting the scales but will try to use the loo then weigh my self.
This is taking over my life.
Also have walked three miles today but my job at work involved sitting down today.Ive also put on two pounds of fat so if I carry on ill be obese. :(
Emma did you tell the doctor that you constantly post lists of food, how many calories, etc? Did you take these posts printed off?
I told them everything lizzie. I showed them. I emphasised how this could be The start of a serious eating disorder she just didn't seem to care or give any proper advise.
Today I've had: Special K/ banana at 5:45am
Apple and plum at 10:30
Terries chocolate orange bar at 1:00
Late lunch at 2:00- brown bread marmite sandwich, plum, mini sweet pepper (was going to have two but just had one they ate vile!) eurgh. Harley's raspberry jelly pot.
Dinner tonight is a small bowl of whole meal pasta with tomato and basil sauce and onions/sweet corn/peppers and what ever other veg I can find in the house added.
I've also walked 1.5 miles today.
Thing is everything always adds up to 2,000 and more calories so how can I not gain weight? I don't get it. I'm allready two pounds heavier than this time last week?
If you read yesterday's lists I make that around 2,700 calories if not more!
---------- Post added at 15:13 ---------- Previous post was at 14:22 ----------
I simply can not carry on like this though !.
I always tell my self if ever needed to loose weight all I would have to do is cut chocolate, jelly, rice pudding out etc and cut smaller portions in half but I'm terrified I couldn't do it!?
What else can go in a lunch box for work. I always pack two brown rolls or one brown sandwich. Always take one or two bits of fruit. A yoghurt/mini rice pudding/mini custard pot/mini pot of jelly. Then I take a small choccy bar and something else like tomatoes or some nuts like almonds etc.
Can't think of any healthy things I like to take. I occasionally take a hard boiled egg with me and cheese spread and breadsticks.
Do you wake up and suddenly realise oh crap I'm 13 stone does it all go on at once without you realising or is it slow?
I'm I'm eating around 2,500 a day that's 500 to much. So 3,500 is a pound so in a week ill gain a pound, in 14 weeks ill be a stone heavier. Some days I'm even eating 3,000 cals a day even though I don't feel like I'm over eating :(
Except forgone day last week. Two pesnut butter rolls. Three bananas. Family size cadburies caramel bar, three scotch eggs big ones, a Big Mac, large fries, Mcflurry, apple, cereal, two mini nutty chocolate bars.
---------- Post added at 18:19 ---------- Previous post was at 15:13 ----------
So ended up with dinner of whole wheat pasta with tomato and basil sauce, green peppers, onions, chicken and a little feta cheese on top. Unfortunately the whole jar of sauce tipped on to it before I could stop it so had the whole jar lol. Followed by an almond magnum and I'm done for the day!
Well when you've been referred make sure you show them this again. Someone earlier advised not writing down what you eat and the day you didn't you had a good day. Why do you feel the need to write it down? I'm not having a go, just curious as to how it helps.
Hi i just feel it helps me to right it down to keep track.
Yesterday I was so bad so bad.
One large dominoes pizza potato wedges, garlic bread and two big tubs of ice cream (the 950ml tescos one)
I was having a bad day and after alcohol did not realise what the hell I was doing!
On top of breakfast. Toast and cereal and fruit. And lunch, sandwich, fruit, fruit, one choccy biscuit etc.
Today I've had
Two slices cheese on toast. Tin of ravioli.
Three ryvittas. Two with peanut butter, one with sliced banana.
Rest of banana with a bit of peanut butter on and I'm stuffed! Can't eat anymore even if I wanted to!
But why do you feel you need to keep track of it? It's not helping you and it's not changing anything.
Rennie1989
12-05-13, 18:15
I don't know if anyone has suggested this but is it better to write this in a diary or type it up on a document, rather then post it here for everyone to see? This shouldn't really be online.
Also, see a different doctor.
nicola1980
12-05-13, 18:28
Emma i remember a while ago your doctor prescribed citalopram for your anxiety, are you still taking this?
Rennie why do you say it shouldn't be online?
Rennie1989
12-05-13, 19:50
Because it's personal information. I think information like that would be best kept offline, for her benefit. If she is concerned about her eating habits then this should be shared with someone qualified. I don't disagree with asking for help and advice and giving people an idea of your eating habits, but posting a very detailed daily food diary on the internet where anyone can see it just makes me feel uncomfortable.
I personally don't see it as any more personal than posting thoughts, emotions, etc on here, but we're all different. I do agree that it should be shared with professionals, and Emma said she's printed the thread off and showed it to her doctor.
Hi rennie.
Personally don't see it as any more personal than what other people post on here especially about bowel movements and female/male issues IMO is much more personal . But hey ho agree to disagree on that one as that's your opinion.
Today been good for me. However I'm at 2,200 calories on my fitness pal and I've not been that bad!
24g cornflakes with semi skimmed milk+ banana for breakfast.
Two small plums for a snack.
Lunch one tin cream if chicken soup + three slices of 58 calorie whole meal bread with light Philly cheese. However I ate half the tub so that's about 150 calories in total oops.
Dinner: two chicken kievs, about 20 small oven chips. Half a tin plum toms. Sweet corn.
Dessert: banana with a bit of peanut butter on.
---------- Post added at 18:35 ---------- Previous post was at 18:30 ----------
Also my mum was clearing up and she hid the scales :( not on purpose I don't think but she has so now I don't know.
At the weekend with out me knowing (alcohol ) I went through two large 950ml tubs of ice cream and a dominoes pizzas plus more :(
---------- Post added at 18:38 ---------- Previous post was at 18:35 ----------
http://i39.tinypic.com/b4gdnk.jpg
I calculate this :(
---------- Post added at 18:43 ---------- Previous post was at 18:38 ----------
Should of resisted desert but I crave something sweet after dinner.
Also didn't really enjoy my lunch so I regret it badly. Shouldn't of had it.
Also shouldn't have four cups of coffee from machine at work as I don't know what's in it. Guessing semi skimmed milk. Only had it as forgot to bring my tea bags with me :(
---------- Post added at 19:00 ---------- Previous post was at 18:43 ----------
I feel so fat. So fat and ugly and horrible . Urgh. If I had scales but I'm five pounds heavier :(
Gotagetthroughthis
13-05-13, 19:45
What you have calculated in the picture is 2119 calories, which is fine. You burn that amount of calories just sitting around and with a bit of movement each day. You have been at work all day doing stuff so if anything with that amount of calories you would be in a calorie deficit and would be losing weight, not gaining it.
I say once again that your diet is fine and you certainly don't need to be eating any less then you already do, eating a little more would be fine and wouldn't really cause any weight gain. Even if you did put on a few pounds, which you wont, there's nothing wrong with that as you said you are very small and slim.
Thanks .
Just going to forgot about it for the night now.
Have calculated my bmr as being about 1,600 when inactive as I'm tiny. 5 foot 1.
Haven't done much today. Bit of movement though. Have been at work but sitting down all day.
Today came out at this:
But all I've eaten is:
http://i40.tinypic.com/2wqr0ip.jpg
Breakfast: two slices banana and peanut butter on toast
Snack: green apple
Lunch: whole wheat pasta with a tin of chopped tomatoes and a little Philly cheese light
Dinner: one butchers chicken leg with skin on. Medium jacket potato with a little butter and a little feta cheese. Fried mushrooms and tomoatoes
Dessert: banana with two teaspoons chocolate spread on .
Also had to guess the calories of the chicken leg as I don't know. My mushrooms were four large flat ones and four tomoatoes vine ones.
Also don't know how much oil dad cooked chicken in :( so can't calculate
i love tea
14-05-13, 21:28
I've said this before - I'll say it once more - you don't need to lose weight. At your height, you would still be a healthy weight at 9 stones.
Your daily calorie intake should not be 1,200 - on average, women need around 2,000 calories a day.
I think posting on here is not helping you at all. It's a really bad habit you're getting into. I don't think you're looking for reassurance - you're certainly not listening to advice.
I think you need to keep going back to the GP until you get the help you need.
I wish you all the best.
Yes . I keep going over 2,000 though which is worrying me .
Mums put the scales somewhere and I can't find them. So no weighing since last Friday I think now :(.
I feel fatter though.
Today has been breakfast: two slices peanut butter and banana on toast.
Snack: two chopped up plums, almonds, walnuts, dried apricots , raisins in a little pot together.
Lunch: pot noodle. Four ryvitta with a tin of mackerel on
Dinner: two salmon in batter fish cakes. Rice with peas and sweet corn. Mushrooms and tomoatoes fried. Lettuce and some crusty bread and butter
Pudding: orange Harley's jelly pot.
Another snack: 6 squares cadburies chocolate oops!
I do need to go back again. Tbh I may change surgeries to one slightly further away. Keep looking at tummy and feeling fatter but I don't know as no scales and its killing me lol
---------- Post added at 19:30 ---------- Previous post was at 18:44 ----------
Wish I could find the damn bloody scales :(
Most days I eat 2,500-3,000 calories without even realising. So I'm going to get fat! I have a belly now never used to a few days ago.
Why can't I just say well I don't have a weight issue now and if I ever did I could do something about it and loose it. But I'm scared I won't notice little by little and end up 20 stone without realising.
Like today wasn't even hungry for dinner it's just habit.
---------- Post added at 21:15 ---------- Previous post was at 19:30 ----------
Found scales. Gained half a pound. Going to keep going up and up at this rate.
Emma, I'm sorry to sound harsh but you post on here for advice and help yet you don't take anything that people say to help you on board. As people have said, you are NOT overweight and the issue isn't food, it's your attitude towards it and worry about it.
nicola1980
16-05-13, 00:07
Emma Im also going to sound harsh but if your so obsessed with what you eat then why are you obviously overeating and eating things that are obviously not good for you and will make you gain weight?? People are trying to advise you but you are obviously paying no attention to the replies your getting! You really need to get some help for your anxiety and Im sorry if this sounds harsh too but you seem to attention seek with your posts but pay no attention to the people that take their time to reply to you, your anxiety is what needs addressing not your diet.
Yes I agree.
I don't mean to not take advise on purpose but that's how anxious I am.
I know it feels like I'm not listening but I'm so obsessed with this I can't help it.
Nicola trust me I'm not out for attention this is how anxious I am.
You saying I'm over eating has just made me panic now even more :(. Even more terrified I will gain more and more weight now .
I wish I could starve my self and just learn to live with hunger that way at least ill know ill not get fat but then when I start eating I'm terrified ill slow my metabolism down to the point were it can't digest even a little bit of food and ill gain pounds and pounds :(
I've had breakfast but I'm not even going to take lunch to work and I will do it and have no dinner tonight aswell. If I'm hungry ill have a piece of fruit tonight .
nicola1980
16-05-13, 07:04
Emma Im trying to watch what i eat at the min and that means Im not snacking between meals on crisp, chocolates, peanuts or having deserts etc, you just need a bit of willpower but you are far from over weight and starving yourself isn't the answer as this slows your metabolism down, just eat healthy foods at healthy portions and see your doctor regarding your anxiety.
Emma,
I don't know if you have a dietician at your GPs surgery.
Just a suggestion.
I think a dietician will put you on the right track to eating healthy sensible meals.
You have got your eating habits all wrong, and starving yourself is not right at all.
Thanks guys.
I will do. I'm going to get better and I can do this. :)
---------- Post added at 18:09 ---------- Previous post was at 18:07 ----------
Also if I cut out desserts chocolate etc does my diet sound ok?
Today I've had:
Cornflakes with milk
Two plums
Home made sausage and veg casserole with three slices of bread to dip. However dad added to much salt to casserole! But was yummy and ate four sausages oops. :(
Dinner is I don't know yet!
Still worried over this, I am slowly but surely gaining weight.
Today I've had breakfast 9am- two weetabix with 100ml semi skimmed milk. Two pineapple rings from a can
Lunch: just now- tuna and white onion with two tablespoons light mayo sandwich on brown bread with thinly spread margarine. In total I'm at 862 calories allready.
I've calculated my tdee. And it says I only need 1,600 a day otherwise ill gain weight :( because I'm a short arse.
Haven't done much today. Cleaned kitchen, hoovered down stairs and taken a 15 min walk to the newsagents and back for milk. Off to town in a moment for food shop/meet a friend .
Need an afternoon nap though only had four hours sleep and am knackered, :(
Dinner is either grilled chicken breast and salad: lettuce, cucumber, tomoatoes, celery, red pepper, raw white onion, beetroot,new potatoes, tiny bit of light coleslaw. No dressing on salad
Or chicken stir fry.
---------- Post added at 14:57 ---------- Previous post was at 12:33 ----------
I wasn't particularly hungry for lunch just peckish but tummy was growling and gurgling so I ate lunch, I'm full up now. But I feel I should snack to keep blood sugar level.
Can't believe I'm at 862 calories already with that.
Dinner is chicken breast. Lettuce, cucumber, tomoatoes, peppers, celery, new potatoes, light coleslaw (one tablespoon), radishes.
My jeans are very very tight today. I've put weight on and feel fat
What if I'm not to hungry for dinner though. I'm absolutely stuffed full.
nomorepanic
18-05-13, 15:13
Emma
Please stop obsessing and stop posting your food diary as it is clearly not helping you!
Go and see the doctor and get some help for this - we keep telling you to.
Yes I will do.
I have an app which logs everything. I keep deleting it and re downloading it. I feel I have to know.
I'm going to go back to the docs. Think I'm going to change surgery though I don't like any docs at my surgery :(
Emma I think you need to make a real conscious effort to stop logging your food on here.
As everyone keeps saying it is clearly not helping you and after a few days of not posting about what you have eaten it might make you start to feel a bit better.
You keep saying ok but then log your food again almost straight away.
Please please try with everything you have inside you not to post about what you have eaten.
Thank you.
I will I promise. I had a trying day yesterday so that distracted me from it and I ate and drank what I wanted and didn't care.
I'm a funny girl.
For example my sandwich today the tuna was not evenly spread over the bread i just threw it all in lol and that for some reason makes me panic that I've over done it
Yesterday was unhappy. Everything ended up at 2045 calories.
I had a huge dinner and over did dinner although the majority of it was low cal veg which was good and I limited salad cream to 15ml.
The chicken well I don't know how much I had. The packet said it was 414 grams and a serving is 100 but I had the largest breast out of it all! And I don't know how much cheddar I had it over it cause I grilled it with cheese on. Hmm I reckon 50grams as the block was 350grams. So 2045 and I don't know if I should over estimate some more. For gods sake . I hate this, I can't get portions right, I ate a whole big can of bloody tuna in my sandwich lunch time aswell :(
Did you even try not to post about that?
What to you do when you get the urge to put about your food intake? Do you try and resist at all?
I really dont know what else you want people to say to you.
Hi.
Yes I did I'd been thinking about it for about two hours before hand for the whole two hours.
I don't know what I want you to say either theirs not much you can say I don't think
I've over eaten today and I know it but I haven't recorded anything which is good for me and not stepped on scales. It's hard not to . Really hard but I won't.
---------- Post added at 19:55 ---------- Previous post was at 17:48 ----------
I've just had a binge. Three jam donuts, two choc yogurts, six Oreos :(
I was craving sugar now I feel so guilty. So guilty.
Phoned docs today. Got another app yet again. This time not taking no for an answer.
Today I've had 1500 calories round about give or take a few.
Breakfast - one slice peanut butter on toast.
Snack- banana
Lunch- one egg, two slices of ham, lettuce, cucumber, cherry toms, radish, green pepper, onion, broccoli, celery, two tablespoons salad cream. Green apple.
Dinner- one salmon fillet in oven, one mini corn on the cob, three asparagus spears, about 15 green beans, and two of those long broccoli stalks.
10 calorie strawberry jelly pot.
Happy with that as I've gained two pounds of fat. :shrug:
However i don't know if over estimated on calories etc. so could be more or could be way less.
I'm not hungry at all though this is so hard to overcome the urge to step on scales right now. :(
peanut butter and banana sandwhich !!!!!! mmmmmmm tasty.
AuntieMoosie
22-05-13, 01:34
Emma hun, please listen to what others are telling you :)
When you go for your counselling, I really think that you have to make it crystal clear that you are having terrible problems with regards to your food intake and calorie counting :)
Emma from what I can see and read throughout this thread, something in your life is bothering you a lot and is causing problems that you either can't or won't address. Now it's going to become a serious issue if you don't start addressing it.
Instead of you dealing with whatever it is that's bothering you, you are focussing on food, and you're only doing that as a way of not having to deal with what the issue really is :)
Instead of keep focussing on food and your calorie intake and writing lists of the foods that you've eaten, why don't you start a little diary....NOT about food though, but a diary about how you're feeling on any particular day, the things that are on your mind, the things that are really worrying you.....NOT FOOD!!! then when you go for your counselling, you can show your diary to your counsellor :)
You may find doing it that way more helpful.
Emma you are NOT over weight. You are NOT going to become fat or obese, you are very healthy physically.
What I have noticed since I joined NMP, having read quite a few of your threads, is that you have learned to not address your own personal problems and instead you're radiating them onto other things, being members of your family and their illnesses and problems and now, we have a food issue starting, can you not see a pattern here ? :)
If need be, print out this entire thread and take it with you to your counsellor or doctor and have them look at it.
Emma please address your issues, you need to get a handle on them, learn to accept them and then work with your counsellor and doctor for a treatment plan which will help you :) :hugs:
thank
u
your right im going to use this
advise need to help myself
Feeling crap again :(
Went Thorpe park yesterday and binge ate their bad I know but I do this when out :( I ate about 4,000 calories I reckon.
Today have had :
Two weetabix and banana
An apple
Brown ham sarnie, banana, babybel, one mini sausage roll, Jordan bar, mini rice pudding for lunch
Dinner: roast chicken, corn cob, carrots , curly kale, green beans, stuffing and roast pots.
Feeling guilty damn it :(
---------- Post added at 19:01 ---------- Previous post was at 18:33 ----------
Omg I've gained four pounds this weekend?!
You went 6 days without posting your food intake.
You need to work out why that happened. What gave you the willpower not to post during that time and why did you eventually feel you had to?
Were you feeling happier/calmer last week? Were you distracted by another health issue? Are you bored/stressed?
There is a reason why you're still posting and deep down you must know what it is. Eventually you are going to have to confront it in order to be free of of all this anxiety - you know that don't you?
geordie_paul
30-05-13, 13:44
I have this to an extent but never relaised it. I look at calaries and fat on everything I eat and even when treating myself in restaurants I tend to go for the heatlhy option. I think it is becasue I have read so much about bad foods and worry about harming my body. I am not bothered about my weight as such I have lost 2.5 stone since november but htat is through exercize and not from dieting. Our minds are funny things eh?
Hi.
No I wasn't feeling happier. I just tried and tried then was a pig then felt like I needed reassurance again :(
Had a bad weekend. Ate a whole trifle in tears and a box of donuts to make my self feel better and I failed. Gained another three pounds to.
Today have had banana
Two peanut butter on toasted muffins . A coffee.
Dinner: salmon, boiled egg, lettuce, cucumber, toms, peppers, beetroot , a little cheese and coleslaw.
After: chopped up pear and apple, a satsuma and an activia yoghurt
I can't think of any reason why I post. I get terrified of weight gain then for some odd reason I binge eat to feel better then it starts again. I just don't know why I do it.
How much do you weigh Emma?
Last time I looked 8.3 on my scales. My nans always at nearer 8.5
I've gained weight though through my binging.
Have I over eaten today though? :( I don't want to count calories but I'm scared of obesity then I binge then feel guilty again.
Oh I'm only 5 foot 1 btw :)
I don't think the amount someone weighs is that important-it is more about whether you start needing bigger clothes etc as a true way of knowing you a permanently putting on weight.
If you binge you are bound to put on a bit of weight but it doesn't mean the weight stays on-it is likely to go back to normal after a few days or normal eating again. We all go through this!
The real issue is why you are feeling the need to binge eat and as many have suggested before you need professional help to get to the bottom of your issues.
You have done really well the last week with reducing the amount you have been posting your food on here so well done for that.
Thanks.
Yer. Like my tummies making so many noises now and I really fancy a ham sarnie. But I don't know if I should lol!
I don't think I know what real hunger is anymore. I don't eat when I'm hungry normally just when I want to which is all the time.
Like now I've had my breakfast earlier two muffins with peanut butter (savoury ones) in a toaater
A banana
Salmon and egg salad with cheese and coleslaw
Chopped up fruit and yoghurt for dessert. Half a apple, half a pear and a satsuma
But I want a sandwich but am I even hungry ? I don't know lol.
This weekend I went crazy on food whole trifles, cream cakes , boxes of them etc.
I'm just not happy. I hate life
---------- Post added at 19:47 ---------- Previous post was at 19:15 ----------
Just had a ham And lettuce sandwich :(
Feeling guilty again damn it.
Before that I was at 1644 calories. I hadn't added the French dressing on salad though . I did 30 min cycling today aswell.
---------- Post added at 19:51 ---------- Previous post was at 19:47 ----------
Apparently my body only needs 1600 calories a day to.
---------- Post added at 19:54 ---------- Previous post was at 19:51 ----------
Now I'm at about 2200 I think. No wonder I'm gaining weight!? I'll be twenty stone before I know it
Granny Primark
02-06-13, 20:18
Emma pse feel free to contact me. Ive had eating probs for the last few years. Sometimes I cant even smell food without being sick or even watch a cooking programme on the tv. Yet other times I wake up in the middle of the night and snack on crisps etc.:hugs:
Thanks gp.
Yes it's hard I don't snack generally at night though.
Would you say what I've eaten today is unusual?
Have you found your self spending hours reading about diets and calories online and weight gain/weight loss.
I can't think why I'm like this. Their has to be a reason I just can't work it out why?
---------- Post added at 21:14 ---------- Previous post was at 20:57 ----------
I've just had a thought. When i was 16 I was 10 stone I lost two stone due to anxiety and then maintained that weifht for a long time
My mum over fed me as a kid. Forced 5 weetabix down me every morning and then tea time would be four slices of toast and then fruit and yoghurts. Plus school dinners/
I've always been aware of calories but never cared so much until recently.
Gained another pound,
It's amazing I don't feel like I've over earn today but everything add ups to well over 3,000 cals.
I've had:
Two weeetabix with one banana, glass of tropical juice, cup of tea: breakfast.
One choc chip biscuit, handful dried apricots, handful peanuts and almonds, cup of tea: snack
Ham and cheese spread sandwich, baby bel, banana, handful grapes and a pack of crisps, diet coke: lunch
Celery, diced carrots, pepper batons: snack
Chicken, noodle and veg stir fry: dinner
And that's well over 3,000 cals. My body doesn't burn that :(
GirlAfraid23
11-06-13, 17:54
Emma I dont mean to sound rude or wrong but you definately sound like you suffer from some sort of eating disorder, either anorexia or a binge eating one.
Or just a mixture of the two.
The obsession with writing what you have eaten down is very typical of an eating disorder.
Go to your GP or pay for a counseller, you really need to hun.
Yes I'm not sure it's anerixia as I don't starve my self. And it's not bulimia I don't make my self throw up.
But I do worry about gaining weight but also for some reason binge,
Yesterday had:
Mini weeetabix and a banana for breakfast
A Jordan's bar and satsuma mid morning
A ham sandwich, red grapes, apple, yoghurt and bite size Milky Way for lunch.
Carrots, baby bel cheese and cherry toms for a snack
Tuna salad for dinner.
Again added up to over 2,500 calories. It's crazy.
All I've done is eat today :(
Breakfast- three weeetabix, glass of tropical juice.
Snack- banana
Lunch- two ham and lettuce rolls(rolls spread with a tiny amount of light mayo no Marg or butter), five cherry toms, five strawberries, five cherries, two slices cheddar cheese and a yoghurt
Snack- three tinned pear halves (not three tins but three out the tin) one cup sugar free jello. 10 cal a pot.
Dinner is ham and egg salad. Calculated everything and it came to 1785 calories however not done much today.
I started worrying when I had a sudden increase in appetite.
I never used to eat so much would only eat dinner and breakfast but now my appetite has gone through the roof!?
And could be over if I've not done the cheese calculation right. I didn't have much but could easily be nearer 2,000 :(
I've been referred to counselling but the wait is killing me :(
AuntieMoosie
15-06-13, 15:05
Emma, once again the weekend is here and you're back into food mode.
You need to fill your time hun, distract yourself as much as you can, every time you think of food, quickly go and do something else :)
It does seem to me though that your anxiety goes way up when you're at home for any period of time.
How has it helped you to write that list of food you've eaten ??
Perhaps work, instead, on what is making you feel anxious right now hun, it's not food Emma, that's just what you're using as a way of masking the real problem.
I know you're waiting for therapy and I know it's tough when you're trying to cope with this alone, but just try some simple distraction techniques, just to stop you getting hooked on food hun :)
Yes your right :(
Great advise.
I guess I just right what I eat so people can tell me if I'm over eating haha .
Wow it's been a long time since I posted here.
I have since seen my doc about this issue. I felt like I got a lecture instead of help though.
I have sinced gained half a stone and have decided I need to have the willpower to starve my self I say this everyday then I binge.
Today.
Five chicken legs, whole tub coleslaw, five slices toast, half a tub ice cream. Fatty :(
I don't understand why you cannot just eat and go on instead of putting it all on here? You can eat what you like and when you like but everybody else cant do anything about it and it sounds ok to me what you eat. You should not worry about the calories so much.
What did the doctor say to you Emma
I did see my gp and just got a lecture about how she didn't want me to end up with an eating disorder and said not to post (I showed her this) and not to use the scales.
I stayed of the scales for near a month and stopped posting on here to see what would happen. I still felt anxious though,
Each day after I stop eating I can't wait for midnight to come so I can start 'again' and attempt to starve my self or only eat one meal or a certain amount of calories then I fail.
Log everything and its something crazy like 3,000 cals...
No wonder I gained half a stone.
[QUOTE=Em.ma;1193601]
have decided I need to have the willpower to starve my self I say this everyday then I binge.
I don't mean to sound unkind but some of us on here are so anxious and panic ridden or suffering from medication side effects that we would love to be able to digest even the smallest of meals, myself included.
[QUOTE=Em.ma;1193601]
have decided I need to have the willpower to starve my self I say this everyday then I binge.
I don't mean to sound unkind but some of us on here are so anxious and panic ridden or suffering from medication side effects that we would love to be able to digest even the smallest of meals, myself included.
That's true yes.
But I do suffer anxiety. And binge eating can also be caused be anxiety and stress :)
You seem t be comfort eating, making yourself anxious about it, then comfort eating more. If you startve yourself, your hunger will cause you to binge and then we get into eating disorder territory. Don't starve yourself for heavens sake and keep off the scaes. Get back to eating a normal diet and meals every day, if you feel like bingeing, think about it first and decide if its a good idea. Don't just do it and then look back on it with guilt.
Thanks.
Have made my self some lunch for tomorrow,
Half a tuna sandwich on brown bread (keep the other half for Tuesday) an apple and perhaps some cucumber or cherry tomatoes in a little pot and maybe a small yoghurt or something.
(Dont feel like breakfast at 6:00am).
And then a normal sized tea. Not a mountain like I usually have. May even use a smaller plate so the plate doesn't look empty.
I will try to stay away from crisps, chocolate, biscuits , fizzy drinks , pork pies etc etc.
Mum buys them for her self though.
Yes I comfort eat and it goes round and round in circles lol.
shotokansho
28-07-13, 23:48
Hello. I've been following this post but only just posted because it's something close to me that I struggle with. I am overweight, by a lot. I have gained 4 stone due to medication. The weight gain made me very depressed and upset and got me into a rut where I didn't want to do my karate anymore (due to lack of confidence because I felt fat). I am slowly losing the weight but it has been very hard work, a lot of emotional upset and will power.
Now I don't mean to be rude or unkind because I am not like that but all the way through this people have been there for you and advised you well and been kind and supportive. You just seem to ignore everyone and carry on, you don't seem to be helping yourself or even trying to sort out your issues. There are genuine people out there and on this forum that are crying out for support, these people follow advice and try their best. I'm not saying your not genuine, don't get me wrong but you really need to start helping yourself and get your underlying issues dealt with. I really do hope that you can deal with what's going on and create a better a life for yourself, but just think of people too.
Hello. I've been following this post but only just posted because it's something close to me that I struggle with. I am overweight, by a lot. I have gained 4 stone due to medication. The weight gain made me very depressed and upset and got me into a rut where I didn't want to do my karate anymore (due to lack of confidence because I felt fat). I am slowly losing the weight but it has been very hard work, a lot of emotional upset and will power.
Now I don't mean to be rude or unkind because I am not like that but all the way through this people have been there for you and advised you well and been kind and supportive. You just seem to ignore everyone and carry on, you don't seem to be helping yourself or even trying to sort out your issues. There are genuine people out there and on this forum that are crying out for support, these people follow advice and try their best. I'm not saying your not genuine, don't get me wrong but you really need to start helping yourself and get your underlying issues dealt with. I really do hope that you can deal with what's going on and create a better a life for yourself, but just think of people too.
Well said :hugs:
Hiya.
Great advice from above and I agree,
Maybe I should help people more on here instead of 'being me' all the time.
So many people have it much worse :)
Been feeling loads better about this recently and haven't been worrying so much over it all.
Today had scrambled eggs, mushrooms and tinned toms for breakfast
Dinner- chicken legs with brocooli and brown rice with sweetcorn and kidney beans mixed in the rice
Pud- sliced strawberries and banana.
I haven't stood on the scales since my last post. Have deleted my fitness pal of my iPad and kept it off and have not googled diets, calories, weight gain also having read calories on packets of anything.
That is excellent news! No need to tell us what you ate, we trust you.
Yes don't know why I wrote it down really. No need to. Don't need to worry about it x
Panicking about weight again swear I look fatter :(
Today have had
Two hard boiled eggs and a banana-6:30am
An apple and a banana at break at work-10:15 am
2:00pm two choc digestives
4:30 dinner two salmon fishcakes from tesco with cucumber, carrot, coleslaw, cherry toms, onion, pepper, pickled onions (salad)
Bowl of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries.
Drinks: two teas, sugar free orange squash, two cups water, one can diet coke. :(
I can go weeks without thinking about it then all of a sudden it starts again.[COLOR="blue"]
---------- Post added at 17:15 ---------- Previous post was at 17:07 ----------
http://i44.tinypic.com/29zyhvl.jpg
Logged everything :(
Far to much for a 5foot 1 girl.
Left out the salad cream though just remembered and don't know how much coleslaw was guessed 100grams so could be out of range from -100 to plus 200 roughly.
:doh:
---------- Post added at 21:33 ---------- Previous post was at 21:32 ----------
What's brought you down now Emma.
I don't know really.
Not been feeling bad about it today, maybe cause am worrying about other things but I just don't know
Before you do it, ask yourself, "will this help me...or I am just doing it to comfort myself. Is it help or reassurance-seeking"
Can't believe this was started in April. It's September now!
These last few days been bad :(
Today was
Rice Krispies, banana, orange juice
Snack banana x2
Lunch- lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, quiche, coleslaw, peppers, sweetcorn. Wholemeal roll and butter,
Dinner- magnum Ice cream
Drinks teax2, water, sugar free orange squash
Yesterday
Breakfast same
Snack- slice of ham.
Lunch- same as today but ham instead of quiche. Wholemeal roll and butter.
Dinner- fishcakes and brocoli.
If you can't help yourself, nobody else can. I'm not commenting on this anymore as I cant think of anything else to say :shrug:
Emma, you posted the other day saying you hadn't worried for ages. What's happened to set this off? If you can find a trigger that may help.
AuntieMoosie
06-09-13, 22:15
Emma hun, as I've said before, this is a control thing that you've got going on with food.
Every time something upsets you or stresses you, you feel unable to control that aspect of your life, but you've learned that the one thing that you can control is what you eat :)
Hun, really I can't over state this. You need professional help in the form of a therapist to help you overcome this.
Try not to think about food or what you're eating for the weekend, just try and focus your mind on pleasant things, like your forthcoming trip to New York :hugs:
Hi yes I have a feeling that I've nothing else to worry over but I need something to worry over so I end up worrying over this...
I don't get any health anxiety symptoms anymore. No strange pains In head, no numbness or pins and needles, no heart symptoms or thinking I'm going to die from blood clots. But I desperately want them back so it stops me eating and stops me gaining weight, it's crazy.
I want to stay in bed for 24 hours straight and just sleep all the time.
You want the health anxiety back?! What's happening about your cbt, as you really need that support.
Wow what a strange thing to say.
I would happily put on 10 stone if it meant I have no anxiety issues.
wow slow down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
eating anxieties are hard to get your head round , obsessing about how fat you are then I guess your head starts spinning and every food group pops in your head eat me or not, little and often it helps to make your plate a side plate instead for a main dinner plate, don't over face your self and above all don't punish your self by the way of I can't eat this, it makes eating anxiety sufferers worse, take breaks in between bites this helps to relax your neck mussels and water try to take a bottle with you as it helps your body break up any excess fatty food you make consume and if you have a bad day don't judge yourself its a learning and re educating process you are bount to have bumps on your way to recovering
hope this helps maggie
AuntieMoosie
08-09-13, 01:35
Emma hun, at last you've hit the hammer on the nail :)
Are you still seeing your therapist hun? if so, have you told them that this is how you feel? If not, you must hun.
Hun you don't need to go to bed and sleep all the time, you just need to find something to do to replace your anxiety. You have now got so used to feeling fearful and anxious that you now believe you're not normal now that you're not feeling it.
There are many, many people who actually say that they miss their anxiety, strange but true.
It sounds to me like you really need to work very hard with this now Emma, work with your therapist and try and find out why it is that you only feel safe if you're feeling anxious and what you can do about addressing it :) :hugs:
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