sedohrrelyt
21-04-13, 12:01
Hey, I'm 20 years old. I've been suffering from Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Hypochondria, Agoraphobia, Basically every anxiety issue. I've been unable to work a job, go to school, I lost my girlfriend, lost friends, and just have 0 fun. I've been suffering since I was 15 (4 going on 5 years). It's gradually shrunk my world. It made me drop out of high school and just completely put my life on hold. At times I feel so hopeless. It all started from me smoking weed and skateboarding. I've always been a shy, timid kid but my first three panic attacks came from smoking weed. I smoked for about a year straight from about 14 to 15.. And the first panic attack I had was the first time I smoked a bong. I completely freaked but I was fine as soon as the panic ended. My next time was a year later when I was 15. I smoked and was skating at my friends house, tried a trick, BOOM.. My back went completely numb. Broke out in cold sweats, Heart beating out of control, chest pains, dry mouth, flashing lights, felt like I was in a cartoon, shaking uncontrollably. The whole 9 yards.. Even then though. I calmed myself down and was able to relax and watch a movie with my friends. Then a few days later I went out and smoked again.. Then the same thing happened.. I got this pain on the lower right side of my back, and all the panic symptoms came full force. I was convinced it was kidney failure or something horrible. Ever since then I've been suffering and like I said, it's completely crippled my life. I'm stuck in my house all day, everyday.. convinced that i'm dying every minute and every second. This past month, I've been to the ER and my doctor so many times for this constant pain in both of my arms. It's hard for me to eat and sleep anymore, i'm lucky to eat once a day because of my fear of throwing up and being ill. I'm ready to take my life back. I don't want to fear death or illness. I want to live my life. I just turned 20 last month and I want to live for life.. Not to live afraid of death or illness. Help anyone..