BubblegumUK
21-04-13, 13:23
i flew for the first time on wednesday! A short flight to edinburgh, it lasted about 45mins which was good.
As i was boarding the plane i was on the verge of tears i was so scared, my eyes were watering i had that much fear. I got on, sat down and waited for it to get to the take off strip. Then it thrust forward and i really started panicking as i was expecting it to be gentle, then we lifted off and i felt so sick and nauseous and panicky etc, i thought to myself what the hell have i done! I was thrown back in to my seat as we were at the back and there was o much g force. My friend was trying to re-assure me, which certainly helped, and then about 20mins later after sweating, dizziness, restless legs, tapping and horrible breathing my anxiety started to reduce...then the captain kindly told us we we're cruising at 28000ft, my anxiety once again rose but luckily it was very very cloudy so i couldn't see out the window. Before i knew it we were descending, we got to about 2000ft and i thought sod it i'm having a look out the window, its only 2000ft and i'll be on the ground soon, so i looked and i was pleasantly surprised, it was actually amazing to see everything from up in the air, and because we we're going lower and lower made it easier. So eventually we landed and got off and i couldn't believe i had flown! I have/had such a big fear of open spaces/flying its prevented me from travelling.
On the way back my anxiety was sooooooooo much less than going there. I'd say about 75 percent less anxious than before, partly because i knew what to expect and partly because i just put myself in the moment and just did it, and din't think.
Take off was fine, kinda fun this time round, i was okay till about 10000ft, keeping calm becuase i wasn't looking out the window and just focusing on other things, but then out the corner of my eye i saw the horizon and it was too high for comfort so i asked my friend if she would close the blind so she did. When we started to descend again, about 25 minutes before landing i thought this is my last chance to conquer my fear, or at least face it head on, so about 15 minutes before landing at around 10,000ft it must have been, if not higher, i looked out the window properly, at all the clouds below...whilst it was banking. i looked for about 20 seconds, i was scared but made myself do it, and took a rest again, then about 5 minutes later i looked again and carried on looking, at the ground, the horizon, the sky above...this was the sort of thing i have had nightmares about for years and such a fear of, and here i was looking straight at it, head on, right in front of me. I actually found it amazingly beautiful, i was shocked. A this point i wanted to continue to fly so i could take it in even longer. I got more and more confident the longer i looked. Eventually though we landed and got back into the airport.
So now, i just can't believe i have actually done that, it was probably my biggest fear which i have confronted head on, it took 2 flights to do it and gradual exposure to the surroundings but i got there!
I wouldn't say i'm over my fear of open spaces completely, but its certainly made me less scared of flying now and has made me see how my mind can make me fearful of things that aren't actually that scary if you expose yourself to them for long enough.
I'm so proud of myself for doing it, i never thought i'd be able to do it but i wanted so badly to confront my fear and anxieties about open spaces, being in a plane 28000ft doesn't get much more open than that, unless of course i'm on mount everest, but i certainly would never do that, that is wayyyyyyy too open and exposed.
So yeah, i've done it!
My advice to anyone else scared of flying/open spaces is to just do it, do a short flight like i did, just try it, cause like me it might be the most productive thing you could ever do!
Dave
As i was boarding the plane i was on the verge of tears i was so scared, my eyes were watering i had that much fear. I got on, sat down and waited for it to get to the take off strip. Then it thrust forward and i really started panicking as i was expecting it to be gentle, then we lifted off and i felt so sick and nauseous and panicky etc, i thought to myself what the hell have i done! I was thrown back in to my seat as we were at the back and there was o much g force. My friend was trying to re-assure me, which certainly helped, and then about 20mins later after sweating, dizziness, restless legs, tapping and horrible breathing my anxiety started to reduce...then the captain kindly told us we we're cruising at 28000ft, my anxiety once again rose but luckily it was very very cloudy so i couldn't see out the window. Before i knew it we were descending, we got to about 2000ft and i thought sod it i'm having a look out the window, its only 2000ft and i'll be on the ground soon, so i looked and i was pleasantly surprised, it was actually amazing to see everything from up in the air, and because we we're going lower and lower made it easier. So eventually we landed and got off and i couldn't believe i had flown! I have/had such a big fear of open spaces/flying its prevented me from travelling.
On the way back my anxiety was sooooooooo much less than going there. I'd say about 75 percent less anxious than before, partly because i knew what to expect and partly because i just put myself in the moment and just did it, and din't think.
Take off was fine, kinda fun this time round, i was okay till about 10000ft, keeping calm becuase i wasn't looking out the window and just focusing on other things, but then out the corner of my eye i saw the horizon and it was too high for comfort so i asked my friend if she would close the blind so she did. When we started to descend again, about 25 minutes before landing i thought this is my last chance to conquer my fear, or at least face it head on, so about 15 minutes before landing at around 10,000ft it must have been, if not higher, i looked out the window properly, at all the clouds below...whilst it was banking. i looked for about 20 seconds, i was scared but made myself do it, and took a rest again, then about 5 minutes later i looked again and carried on looking, at the ground, the horizon, the sky above...this was the sort of thing i have had nightmares about for years and such a fear of, and here i was looking straight at it, head on, right in front of me. I actually found it amazingly beautiful, i was shocked. A this point i wanted to continue to fly so i could take it in even longer. I got more and more confident the longer i looked. Eventually though we landed and got back into the airport.
So now, i just can't believe i have actually done that, it was probably my biggest fear which i have confronted head on, it took 2 flights to do it and gradual exposure to the surroundings but i got there!
I wouldn't say i'm over my fear of open spaces completely, but its certainly made me less scared of flying now and has made me see how my mind can make me fearful of things that aren't actually that scary if you expose yourself to them for long enough.
I'm so proud of myself for doing it, i never thought i'd be able to do it but i wanted so badly to confront my fear and anxieties about open spaces, being in a plane 28000ft doesn't get much more open than that, unless of course i'm on mount everest, but i certainly would never do that, that is wayyyyyyy too open and exposed.
So yeah, i've done it!
My advice to anyone else scared of flying/open spaces is to just do it, do a short flight like i did, just try it, cause like me it might be the most productive thing you could ever do!
Dave