tonio100
21-04-13, 23:03
Hi my names Toni, I'm 17 and I've had panic attacks since I was 11 years old, my dad was house bound agoraphobic for 12 years and they push me to try so I don't end up like him, ive managed to keep my anxiety and attacks under control but sometimes they get the better off me. I've even managed to push myself by leaving my comfort zone and going to a college quite far from home with new people who don't know my problem, I did great and I've been there for nearly a year now but this past week has hit me hard and I had several attacks which left me missing alot of college and being too scared to leave the house, college starts again tomorrow and I can't even think about leaving the house without having another one and breaking down into crying fits and ut worries me, I can't do normal things that my friends want to do, I want to goto concerts and festivals but I can't be in a crowd for two seconds without having an attack, I can't even get drunk because I'm scared of not being able to control myself if I have an attack, I get paranoid when my boyfriend even sits next to a girl and get moody with him if he talks to one because im scared he'll leave me for them which is ruining my relationship and hurting him and has done for over a year now, I'm scared that people start to dislike me because I'm not fun or because I cause arguments too many times because I'm paranoid, they scare me and they're nothing and I shouldn't be bothered about them because there are worse things that could happen to me but it sends me into depression when I know I don't have any control over my own life, it's affecting me and my relationships and I've lost all control I thought I had over them, please someone give me some advice, thanks for reading :) x